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Please help me with this xx

(67 Posts)
Mummytothearkbuilder Sun 03-Feb-13 08:58:04

Hi guys

I posted on here last week and got some great responses so wondered whether anyone could help me get through this newest development.

I have been quite anxious since getting my BFP - last week I requested another HCG test to make sure my pregnancy was progressing and the results came back that they had increased from 8137 on 14th Jan to 17866 on 30th Jan - the doctor was happy with this and said I was progressing fine. I have booked an early private scan (thinking I was 7 weeks) as I wanted to see the heartbeat for full reassurance which me and DH went to yesterday. When we got there the sonographer couldn't find anything doing and abdominal scan so he did an internal scan and could see the sac and foetus but couldn't detect a heartbeat hmmhe gave us a report (he had measured the foetus and it was 8.5mm which he put at 6 weeks 6 days) and some pictures and said to take it to my G.P - he said he was definitely sure it had died and the GP will start the process of removing the foetus from me. I was devastated - in tears and not really taking in what the guy said (thank goodness my DH was there). We phoned the local maternity unit and spoke to a midwife who was lovely - she said they couldn't see me but phoned through to the A&E department asking that they re-do bloods to confirm what the sonographer had said - they did this saying they expect the levels to be the same as 30th Jan or lower but they can back at 20202 - the nurse and doctor were quite shocked and said that either the baby died in the last 2 days and my body hasn't registered it or it was too early to see the heartbeat and the pregnancy may continue normally.

I don't know what to think - I don't want to give up hope but at the same time I don't want to cling to hope that isn't there. I have had no pain or bleeding since my BFP which the doctor said is a good sign. I'm not sure what I am asking really - has anyone been in a similar position or can anyone offer advice?

The doctor simply said go home and don't over do things - either your body will get rid of things naturally or it won't - I know that's all they can say but I am driving myself crazy thinking about things hmm

Sorry it so long - I only meant to write a short post but it seems to have snowballed!, xxx

Slainte Wed 13-Feb-13 20:09:24

You really aren't alone.

Hope you're coping ok, as well as you can anyway.

This waiting in limbo is such a difficult time. I know what you mean about needing to be in control but the thing is no matter how much you worry you won't change the outcome so try not to drive yourself crazy worrying.

Praying for your scan to give you positive news.

Mummytothearkbuilder Thu 14-Feb-13 10:13:15

Thank you, I think it peaked last night as the pain really stepped up. It seems to have eased a bit this morning so I hope I am over the worst of it pain wise.

I am hoping that the EPU will still scan me tomorrow to make sure it has all passed. At least this time tomorrow we will have confirmation of the loss (which will be sad) and we can start planning on moving forward. I have stacks of questions - I might write them all down and ask them tomorrow - do you think that will be okay xx

tigerKesha Thu 14-Feb-13 15:34:08

Really sorry OP. thanksthanks hope all goes as well as it possibly can given the circumstances.

Mummytothearkbuilder Thu 14-Feb-13 15:46:14

Thank you - the pain has been okay today but I am shocked at how heavy the bleeding is - don't know what I was expecting!

I just want to put it all behind me - I know I can rush the physical or emotional process but just don't want to feel this horrible sad emptiness I am feeling hmm xx

ChairmanWow Thu 14-Feb-13 15:57:42

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've experienced similar and I remember that empty feeling. Just give yourself some time and space to recover physically and emotionally. Your partner sounds lovely, which is great. Hope you can give each other lots of love and support.

Take care thanks

Mummytothearkbuilder Thu 14-Feb-13 17:07:43

The pain has started again and the bleeding is still heavy - how long will the bleeding go on for? Xx

greengoose Thu 14-Feb-13 18:01:02

It varies, but if you've passed clots it should calm down to a heavy period, but for some it stop starts a bit... Sorry I can't give definite answer. If they scan you they will tell you if you have passed everything... But the bleeding can be heavy for a while, with me at your stage usually like a long period that takes a while to properly stop.
I think you should take your list of questions, that's a good idea. Good luck tomorrow. X

Slainte Thu 14-Feb-13 22:26:08

Agree with greengoose the bleeding really can vary. Definitely bring your questions with you as it's so hard to remember them all when you get there. Good luck tomorrow.

Mummytothearkbuilder Fri 15-Feb-13 10:06:58

Thank you ladies - it hasn't all come away - it's still pretty much in tact in there. I have to wait another week to see if it comes away naturally - if not then I will have the op to remove it.

It had grown since last Monday - I am glad it gave it its best chance at growing and feel like it fought hard. It also confirms that the private scan was completely wrong.

I am scared - i thought this week was bad but the worse is still to come - I still have to pass it hmm

Thanks again for all your wonderful support x

TwitchyTail Fri 15-Feb-13 10:18:26

I have no advice but am thinking of you Mummytothearkbuilder, and wishing you the very best thanks

Mummytothearkbuilder Fri 15-Feb-13 21:38:46

It has now come away - I have had the most painful and intense few hours of my life but really think I have got through the worst now. The size of the clots and the pain has really shocked me - it came on so suddenly and once it happened there was no stopping it. I am feeling a strange sense of calm - it maybe that it just hasn't hit me yet - it does all feel very surreal or it may be that there is no more uncertainty anymore and I know where I stand now - who knows either way it has happened now hmm

Thank you all for your amazing support - I can't ever imagine feeling normal again - I have never looked or felt so physically drained in all my life - I guess it's just small steps xx

DreamingOfTheMaldives Fri 15-Feb-13 22:41:50

Thinking of you Mummytothearkbuilder.

TwitchyTail Fri 15-Feb-13 22:48:29

Oh I'm so sorry sad Thinking of you. Please take good care of yourself. We are all here for you.

Rockchick1984 Fri 15-Feb-13 23:02:17

thanks mummytothearkbuilder - Just wanted to send my condolences and I'm glad your husband is being so supportive. Take care of yourself, and give your DS lots of cuddles, they really do make you feel better (my DS is 2 and gives amazing cuddles smile ).

3rdtimelucky73 Sat 16-Feb-13 01:24:20

I feel for you, it is awful and can be incredibly painful (it was for me).

(hugs), look after yourself xgrin

SoYo Sat 16-Feb-13 07:55:37

Well done for getting through the night, hopefully the worst is over now, certainly sounds that way. Please remember if you're not sure about what's happening or have questions that you should be able to ring your early pregnancy unit or gynae ward for advice anytime, that's what they're there for.

You're completely right about small steps, just think about today for now and slowly you'll come round a bit & feel a bit less drained and awful. There's always the MN massive here if you need a bit of chat!

Slainte Sat 16-Feb-13 19:48:45

Really feel for you. This is such a difficult time. Remember to also give yourself time to heal emotionally as well as physically, you are grieving.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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