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Surviving a hen do when pregnant. Any advice?

(21 Posts)
PinkApple86 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:06:52

Hi ladies. Got my bfp last week so think I'm about 4 weeks pg now. Next month I'm going on my friends hen night. It involves a dance class, cocktail making class, meal then clubbing. All apart from the meal I can't do! I'll be about 7 weeks by the night, and don't really want to tell anyone until I'm 12 weeks. Also its in my home town so I'm travelling 3 hours to get there and staying at my parents for the weekend with another school friend who is travelling 4 hours from a different city, so if I pull out I'll let her down. What shall I do?? I'm going to have to tell the bride to be, and the other friend at least because they will know when I'm not drinking (v unlike me lol) Any advice? I don't really want to tell everyone that's going as I don't know some of them.
Thanks confused

Kilkers Wed 23-Jan-13 09:12:18

Can you invent some kind of affliction that means you can't dance and you have to take antibiotics for (so you can't drink)? Your good friends would know the truth anyway so you'd only be telling porkies to the people you don't know so well.

Grumpla Wed 23-Jan-13 09:13:15

Fake a sprained ankle and "really strong painkillers".

calypso2008 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:20:49

I definitely would not go OP.
You will have a miserable and boring and expensive time.
Tell the bride to be the truth and then see if you can come to some solution for your friend and her accomodation.

calypso2008 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:22:55

Or, as it is in your home town, you could go - have a relaxing time with your parents and meet up for the meal only.

Tell everyone you are under the weather and as someone said on antibiotics -an ear infection would be good? Nobody can see that!

Light100 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:27:38

I went on a hen do at 11 weeks and really didn't want to tell anyone, my best friend knew so we just made sure we sat next to each other and she would swap our drinks so it always looked like mine was half full. We also did cocktail making, I made one but just plonked it down and someone else drank it (remember everyone else will be drinking/drunk!) as for the dance class, what kind of dancing is it i.e. could you just stand at back and do it half hearted? You definitely need someone to help you to keep the secret and at the end of the day if anyone asks you then they are very rude as you would clearly tell people if you were ready to!

zcos Wed 23-Jan-13 09:29:50

Antibiotics always good excuse not to drink... You could always see how you go then and leave the night earlier if its really not fun. Think I would tell bride to be and friend that is staying with you. You could also try drinking just lemonade or cola and people will prob assume alcohol. A little sugar boost be good too. It's the worst when you can't tell peeps still fun dancing night away sober though...people always assume your drunk if your dancing!

upanddown83 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:32:36

I had the same problem at 9weeks I had a good friends hen party to go to I was in two minds for a long time of what to do and it was stressing me out! I decided in the end to ring the bride to be and be truthful (she was swore to secrecy) and she was so excited for us she didn't mind about me not being there
This worked for me as a few other people had let her down so I didn't want to give a crap excuse bout not going or go and not enjoy myself the whole time this might not work for u but it is another option.

daisydoodoo Wed 23-Jan-13 09:33:54

Id say you can do all the activities bar drinking alcohol. No reason why other than tiredness you cant dance at the class or the club.

LPplusOne Wed 23-Jan-13 09:41:21

Why couldn't you dance (at the class and/or at the club after dinner)??? confused.

Flisspaps Wed 23-Jan-13 09:51:48

I was pg on my own hen do. No-one realised.

My SIL was in on it, if anyone bought me a vodka and coke then I would keep hold of it, wander over to the bar, get a coke, then pass the vodka and coke to my SIL. Everyone assumed me running up to the loo to throw up was because I'd drunk too much. To be honest, I made sure it took me ages to drink a drink so I wasn't bought many, but I always had a glass of something in my hand and people assumed I was trollied (in fact, it was the others who were!)

Why on earth can you not go to the club? We did.

If you don't want to drink - knock one of the cocktails you've made over, take a (fake it if you don't want to touch a drop) sip of one and say you don't like it and pass it to the bride. It's actually pretty easy grin

calypso2008 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:54:11

Having had a heamatoma at exactly this stage of pregnancy through, (I think, from going in a 4x4), I am paranoid about any sort of physical activity at this stage - they are not un-common, maybe the OP has experienced something similar?

(Am probably not the best person to ask) smile before being pregnant I would have thought the dance class would not be a problem also - depends on OP's age/previous pregnancy experiences etc... also tiredness was a huge factor for me (but I was old!) smile

MrsLDTE Wed 23-Jan-13 09:56:34

I'm 6+3 so don't really want to tell people so I'm using the painkillers/antiobiotics excuse, once everyone else has had a few they wont notice you not drinking anyway

LPplusOne Wed 23-Jan-13 09:59:54

You do realise that the olde painkillers/antibiotics is basically code for announcing your pregnancy, yes?

Glad to see a sensible response, Fliss!

LPplusOne Wed 23-Jan-13 10:01:42

(Didn't mean to discount the other sensible responses by only mentioning Fliss!)

MrsLDTE Wed 23-Jan-13 10:08:39

I hadn't realized that blush but I've not long had a car crash so perhaps a bit more believable coming from me!!

Littlemissexpecting Wed 23-Jan-13 11:01:16

You could say your on medication for a balance problem. Then that will help you get out of dancing and drinking. Labyrinthitis or vestibular neuronitis for example. These are made worse by drinking alcohol and some forms of exercise.
I would tell at least 1 person though. It depends on what type of person the bride is whether I would tell her. I would be happy for you but my SiL would think you were stealing her thunder. Is there a way you could have a quiet word with the bar staff so you get virgin cocktails without anyone realising? Failing that cranberry juice or lemonade is great. Lemonade or sparkling water could be vodka, gin etc.

Mayanbob Wed 23-Jan-13 12:21:00

I did a cocktail night- 2 pregnant ladies, one I knew about, 1 didn't- they just made non alcoholic cocktails. Being more experimental as no limits on non-alcoholic ingredients. Friend I didn't know about said she had a cold. Alternatively - give up booze for a month as part of cancer awareness . :-)

PinkApple86 Wed 23-Jan-13 13:19:00

Thanks ladies, all really honest advice. I think I'm still gonna go, and at least see my parents, go on the day time part of the hen do, and sneak off home after the meal and try and pretend I'm drinking (sound like a bit of fun actually) I'll tell the bride to be so she doesn't think I'm rude, and the friend staying with me. She's my bessie anyway so we can have fun trying to hide my non drinking. With the dancing I can easily do the shy I don't want to half hearted thing as its a pop star dance experience which imho sounds lame anyway lol.
Thanks so much

Emsyboo Wed 23-Jan-13 13:29:07

I went to a hen do in July for some reason I thought you know what I'll take an early pregnancy test the morning before the hen do and low and behold it was positive.

I went and did cocktail making - I requested non alcoholic (claiming antibiotics) I didn't participate in any of the rounds so just got lemonades and of course a few drinks for the bride to be. No one questioned me although turns out everyone had guessed and they mentioned it at the wedding (I hadn't announced it as was 11 weeks at the wedding).
Can't offer much advice but you can still enjoy yourself I had a great time but skulked off a bit early. You are still early on so as long as you are careful I don't see why a bit of dancing would be a problem they wouldn't expect you to do somersaults.
Sounds like you have it sorted have fun and congratulations x

zcos Wed 23-Jan-13 22:51:12

pink make sure you report back... be good to have your experience noted whilst still fresh too! have fun!

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