9w+5d pregnant - work and snow

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

work do not officially know I'm pregnant although I have overheard two directors gossiping about the fact I am, so unofficially they know.

I have a 14 month old I need to pick up from my MIL and worried about getting there and back home (it's a tube rifde away from home) from work all in the snow when I'm pregannt, plus with a pram.

I really need to leave now and have asked if I could leave earlier but they've just said to keep an eye on the weather. I have and it's getting heavier.

what shall I do? I'm petrified I'm going to slip and miscarry. I';m actually in tears at the moment.

shall I bite the bullet and tell work I'm pregannt (they've sent a 14 week pregnant woman home who also has to pick her her child) and hope they send me early? I was hoping to keep it a secret until the first scan as it's a very gossipy environment.

[jazzcat28]

Under the Health & Safety at Work act your employer has a duty of care to all its employees. Regardless of whether you are pregnant or not you should be able to get home safely and if that means leaving work early then so be it.

Also as you already have a child you have a right to excused absence as a parent to tend to their needs.

I would say that you just want to be on the safe side and sort out your DC before the snow gets bad.

If it helps, I'm in Southampton where it's been snowing since 3am and hasn't stopped - I now have 6 inches of fully settled snow

I would go. The pregnancy shouldn't come into it at all.

[VinegarDrinker]

I'm not sure how you being pregnant affects this? Even if you did slip over it is extraordinarily unlikely to affect your pregnancy in any way, particularly at a stage when everything is safely packed away within the pelvis. Picking up your other child obviously will affect your plans though.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

vinegar you're not sure how being pregnant when it's icy and snowy is an issue?

It's my concern that if I did fall over there is a chance of miscarriage. how likly this is to happen whether i fell or not ir irrelavent to me. what is relevenat and a concern to me is the fact that the risk - whether it be small or not, is still there.

as i have miscarried previously i am always cautious during pregnancy.

Obviously my company feels the same way having let another pregnant women leave early - she has annouced it where as I haveb;t.

anyway I don't think i need to justfiy why as a pregnant woman I am cautious about slipping over when it's icy and snowy.

[RugBugs]

Can I suggest you get yourself some snow grips for your shoes? They're about a tenner in millets/north face etc and you will be a lot more stable on your feet.

Maybe the other woman had to collect a DC from a closing nursery? Your DC is with family so perhaps in the eyes of your employer there is no pressing need for you to collect?

[Battlefront]

Your DC is safe with his/her grandmother. Presumably if conditions really get that bad, she can safely stay there for a while, maybe until DH can collect if you're really that concerned about going out. I'm sure no GM would refuse in an emergency. But, you're in London (near the tube) so conditions really aren't going to get that bad before the end of the working day.

I'm sorry if I sound unsympathetic, maybe I'm in a foul mood, but this is why some employers are reluctant to employ women.

[TTCmay]

I work in London and live in outskirts and have left early- my employer was absolutely fine and i said I would log on from home so not a problem. My main concern was getting stuck on an absolutely packed tube (I have found travelling v difficult and have fainted this pregnancy) and also I wanted make sure I would be able to pick up DD from childminders

I think you are perfectly entitled to have added concerns in the snow when you are pregnant.
Good luck getting home !

[Mutley77]

Sorry but I'm another who doesn't understand the relevance of pregnancy to snow ! I am 18 wks and walking around as usual - obviously I wear suitable footwear to prevent slipping - but with fresh snow you are less likely to slip over than when the pavements are icy (much more regular at this time of year and surely you wouldn't avoid work whenever this occurs.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

Noted - remind me - an emotional pregnant woman whose miscarried before and and scared to slip on a patch of ice not to come here for sympathy again.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

Thank you ttcmay by the way.

[McPhee]

Ignore them

Some people in this world, sadly find pleasure in making someone else feel shit.

Hope you got home safely x

[Mutley77]

I think you need to remember that in pregnancy you are often more emotional and anxious than usual and it seemed as thought you were asking whether or not your fears were rational. Sorry if you were not asking for views about the risks to your safety which is what I thought you were asking. If you do feel you were being rational then of course you should have insisted on leaving, not asked a forum whether you were doing the right thing.

Hope you got home ok.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

I was being rational. Its starkingly obvious as a pregnant woman its a good idea not to fall over...when there is adverse weather like snow and sleet it makes the risk of injury increased. Its obvious and simple and for life of me cant see how such a thing can be debated. It seems alot of people here will argue or take an opposing view no matter the subject matter.

Lets look at this rationally - there was settled snow outside my work, it was getting heavier and colder certain troden areas turned icy. I am pregnant and voiced concerns as to slipping and miscarry...and I was met with comments telling me I'm absurd and the implication that in the history of time such a thing has never happened.

In the future save the debate for aibu.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

Thank you mcphee and mutley, I got home fine although I slipped about in places...not a fan of snow in london as it turns patchy ice very quickly.

[meditrina]

The reason that there is little sympathy is that do not cause MC in the first trimester. Possibly your bosses know that too, and djustments made for PG are based on evidence. There was no medical issue here. So what is left is the emotional need, and that is not a workplace matter - you are employed to do a job.

The suitability of your commute/childcare issues is your responsibility, not your employers. If you're commuting across London regularly, the you should certainly consider getting one of the narrower and lighter pushchairs rather than using a pram.

That said, I do sympathise with the emotional needs you have described, suggest you seek support in RL. If you feel you are no longer capable of doing your job, because of stress or other MH issues, then see a doctor.

[McPhee]

And had this been posted by a well known/loved regular, the advice and outcome would have been different. Fact!

I think some people are just up for taking their own rl issues out on an invisiab;e person, for their own ego.

Come and have a go at me, instead of a worried mother to be....I couldn't give a toss.

[Mutley77]

I find this really interesting - it wouldn't occur to me that at any stage of pregnancy I couldn't go out as normal in the snow (with care being taken not to slip) - I can't see that it is rational for me to stay in for the next week while there is likely to be snow on the ground. What do pregnant ladies in Canada do?

Of course I understand you feel emotional and worried about it. I feel anxious about driving in this weather. However I can't see that it warrants "special treatment" on the basis of being pregnant.

I have also suffered 3 miscarriages. I don't believe any of them was caused by anything - miscarriages are sadly just one of those things. So presumably that affects my behaviour.

[massagegirl]

Wow some incredibly unsympathetic ladies on here.
I was worried about slipping in the snow too. It's your body and your baby and you've had an upsetting time in the past. Today I was meant to be going to see friends, 2 trains and a tube ride away with fairly long walks either end. I decided not too go as realised it would take me forever to waddle to the station trying to not fall over. My friends were very understanding. I'm sorry you've had a negative reaction on here. If its snowing on Monday my employer tells me to work from home. Hope you have a good weekend.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

Oh dear god. Lets get a few things straight:

1. I do not feel I cannot go out at all when it snows. I have in no way ever said or implied this.
   

1. I do feel that when there is adverse whether caution and extra care should be taken b everyone, ESPECIALLY pregnant women, as a fall can cause a miscarriage.
   

1. Having previously stated I have miscarried (incidently around the week I am now) I am lightly more cautious, and the adverse weather hasn't helped this feeling.
   

1. I feel more than capable of working and do not need to seek help in rl. However, not many ppl know i am pregnant as I am under 12 weeks, hence coming online for "support".
   

1. Just so we're all clear what I am saying here - I am capable of working when pregnant, I did up until 9 months with my first. I am capable of commuting in the snow and during adverse whether. However i feel extra care should be taken and extra consideration should be given to pregnant women during said adverse weather, because an accident is more likely to happen during adverse weather. If you are pregnant and you do not wish to have extra time to complete your community during bad weatger, by all means, don't. I however, I was voicing concerns because I am pregnant. Did not want to slip and fall in the icy weather, and have a toddler to pick up and commute in the heavy snow (which it was a the time of writing yesterday).
   

This is all I wish to say on this issue. By all means if some of you wish to continue being argumentative, please be my guest.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

And for the record meditrina I am extremely offended that you have insinuated I have mental health issues simply because I have voiced concerns at slipping over in the snow when pregnant. I gave no indication I have MH issues and have simply said I am extra cautious about miscarrying because I have miscarried in the past. Insinuating I have MH issues over this is extremely offensive - especially to ppl who genuinely have them, and should not be banded around loosely.

[meditrina]

You will see from the link I posted that falls do not cause first trimester mc.

I am concerned from your post that your emotional state is disproportionate to your circumstances. You are of course right that there are many possible reasons, and MH issues (depression, anxiety; leading to irritability and aggression) are common. Your apparent over-reaction to a neutral statement about your well-being reinforces why I am concerned for you. There is nothing offensive about concern over MH, and there ought to be no stigma in considering it. It wasn't 'bandying': it was a suggestion framed in terms of getting proper medical advice. It is up to you to decide whether you do this or not, but I hope you will at least think about it.

[McPhee]

Meditrina I find your insinuation offensive too. No, mental health issues aren't something which are swept under the carpet, but for gods sake women. I think you're making your own thread up here

May I suggest, that before you go around telling people they may have mental health issues that you.....well do you know what....If I type what I want to say I will be banned.

I've never come across such a down right rudeness....

[CarriePie]

I'm not really sure why there has been such issue with regards to the OP question. I am 11 weeks and it took me twice as long to walk home from the station as usual last night because I was absolutely terrified of falling over.
I was also in the position where I almost told one of managers that I was pg because I was worried about getting home and wanted to leave early. Except I was saved because he said at 2 that everyone could go home.

I think there is a lot of judgemental comments from other posters on here and I think just a simple recollection of the worrying that occurs with early pregnancy would have been a bit kinder to the OP.
For what it's worth I sympathise and I think as your colleague had been sent home maybe a quiet word in the ear of your boss might have been a good idea.
I hope there is no more snow! Good luck with your pregnancy!! X

[HomeEcoGnomist]

OP - I think you've answered your own Q, no? The other lady has told them she's pregnant, you have not.

If it is that concerning for you, tell your managers. Then they will be able to take into account any particular H&S concerns.

[Notmyidea]

op, I'm at the end of the second trimester, know my balance is "off" and am petrified of falling in the snow, too. Tell your manager!