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I get jealous of other pregnant mums.

(19 Posts)
Pritchyx Wed 16-Jan-13 10:58:12

I am expecting my first in may, and I keep getting jealous of other expecting mums! I don't even know how or why, but I do. It's everytime I look on Facebook, another girl is pregnant or updating her status about the baby. All are due after me, so I've been through the first movement, first kick etc! And I'm strangely jealous of them - I'm still jealous after I remember bump is there!

However, I've kept my pregnancy away from Facebook to save the comments and opinions of those disagreeing, and to keep one thing private!

Does any other mums get jealous of other mums? Is it normal?

Flisspaps Wed 16-Jan-13 11:09:05

However, I've kept my pregnancy away from Facebook to save the comments and opinions of those disagreeing

Why would people disagree with you being pregnant? Is the jealousy stemming from the fact that these other women feel that they can be open about their pregnancies and for some reason you don't?

ladymia Wed 16-Jan-13 11:15:37

I am not sure of your situation but it sounds like you are jealous they are excited about it / sharing it with the world and you are keeping it somewhat hidden?

RoxyLady Wed 16-Jan-13 11:28:03

Im sorry to be unsympathetic but I think you should just be glad you are pregnant and stop worrying about other people. Worry about yourself.

Pritchyx Wed 16-Jan-13 11:41:16

The reason I've kept it off Facebook is because a lot of my family disagreed due to me being 18. My parents were fine, but grandparents, aunts, cousins were not quite as pleased. I've seen first hand with my best friend what happens when you put things about pregnancy on Facebook at my age. Not pleasant to say the least. But those who know have accepted it.

Don't get it wrong, I'm happy that I'm having a baby, and pleased for everyone else, but I just get jealous of the fact that they're pregnant. Even though I'm pregnant myself!

LimeLeafLizard Wed 16-Jan-13 11:49:07

You sound very sensible to me, in keeping details of your private life off Facebook. My 18 and 19 year old cousins post EVERYTHING and my interfering mother keeps posting comments criticising them. It makes me squirm with embarrassment for them all!

Maybe it would help you to make your own private record / scrapbook of your pregnancy - e.g. a folder with scan photos, bits you pull from magazines, pics of you and family, diary notes of things you did and bought etc. Then you'll have your own lovely record to look back through and show to supportive people (rather than every busybody on FB).

RoxyLady Wed 16-Jan-13 12:21:33

I agree... keep your info off facebook. That is mature of you... but I think you are funny for being jealous of women being pregnant when you are pregnant smile

Pritchyx Wed 16-Jan-13 12:26:24

It's weird and confusing! Because its not like I haven't and am not going through what they are!
I'm at least 6+ weeks ahead of them too, so I'm there like "as if she's having this, and she's having that" :S its not even jealousy of possessions! It's just jealousy of their unborn child lol..

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 12:48:02

It sounds like you are not jealous of their pregnancies as such, but of their personal circumstances being viewed as more acceptable by society in general.

noblegiraffe Wed 16-Jan-13 12:51:40

Being utterly irrational during pregnancy is completely normal, and being jealous of other people being pregnant when you yourself are pregnant would count wink

However, the Facebook thing is probably causing you jealousy not because they are pregnant, but because people are pleased for them and they can openly discuss it.

I'm sorry your enjoyment of your pregnancy is being marred by the reactions of your relatives. Hopefully when the baby is born and they see how gorgeous it is and what a good mum you are they'll come round smile

worsestershiresauce Wed 16-Jan-13 13:19:21

Being pregnant brings out all kinds of weird emotions about everything. You are allowed to feel whatever you want, and it is a bit holier than thou of anyone to tell you otherwise. It might be best to keep this one to yourself though, as jealousy about anything isn't the best emotion to show in real life. Good luck with your pregnancy, and I hope your family come round. I'm sure they will.

Aimeelou28 Wed 16-Jan-13 13:41:40

I agree, I think some on here are being a little bit harsh, good on you Pritchyx for being honest about what you are feeling even if it does seem strange to some people- you obviously just want some reassurance there's nothing wrong with you rather than a lecture- you are not weird at all, as worsestershiresauce says, pregnancy has a lot to answer for!

You're not the only one either with the jealousy thing- I've had similar weird feelings of jealousy (amongst a whole range of other emotions!) at times during my pregnancy despite everything running smoothly for me. I'm 36 weeks now and not felt this way for a while, but certainly earlier on I would see other pregnant woman who were further along than me and feel quite jealous that they would meet their baby before me, other times I've looked at other peoples bumps and felt jealous for a split second they had a 'nicer' bump than me, sometimes I even caught myself seeing other pregnant women and wishing I was the only pregnant woman around as it was almost like the others were 'stealing my thunder'!! I knew in my rational mind that I was being absolutely ridiculous and I never mentioned it to anyone, but there's no denying thats how I have been at times. So don't fret about it, just ignore it and let it pass as it soon will smile

Emsyboo Wed 16-Jan-13 14:49:28

You are more mature at 18 than I am at 30 as I put too much in Facebook blush I do have strict setting tho so many people don't see but I find I am incredibly boring!

I understand how you feel about being jealous of people further on than you I remember being jealous of people announcing after 12 weeks and wanting to say things. Also people share a lot so when people are further on than you you want to get to that stage like when you have a small bump and people can't be sure your pregnant but other people have big lovely wiggly bumps!
Just be patient it's understandable and you are not alone.
However I'll bet what people aren't sharing in Facebook are the bad backs, sleepless nights from kicks, constipation, piles etc etc
Your pregnancy will move on quick enough and reality hits when you have a baby in your arms!
I agree make a pregnancy diary to share with your partner, family and close friends and maybe eventually your baby smile

PhieEl06 Wed 16-Jan-13 16:18:08

Pritchy at 18 too I am sympathetic I know how you feel about wanting to keep things from Facebook, so far I have. Even only being 13+3, I'm filled with dread at the way people who don't particularly understand my circumstances will react to the news, I can understand your jealously because I do feel it too, my questioning is how can they feel so free & open to post it & not care? I don't know whether that's just me but I do feel like I personally will be judged because of my age even though OH has told me to stop worrying about everyone else. What's started to help me is putting together my pregnancy box, in an old shoe box I've started putting little bits, my scan pics, pics of me & other half throughout different stages of PG, will be putting labels in from first outfits I buy & I have started writing a little diary in a small book to baby like letters, I find this helps when I am overcome with some weird emotion. This box is my little reminder of my pregnancy for me, OH, family, close friends & eventually, baby.

Just remember that sometimes posting it all over Facebook isn't the greatest of ideas, if you want to stear clear of the gossip your doing the right thing & have the support of a fellow 18 year old mum to be! smile

LuckyOwl28 Wed 16-Jan-13 16:39:29

If you think your feelings stem from the fact that people on facebook will be critical if you share scan/bump photos etc, then why don't you have a cull of your 'friends' list, leaving you only with the people you know are thrilled for you and know what a great Mum you'll be?

Not for the same reasons, but I've been gradually cutting my friends list and have so far got rid of almost 300. Tell you what it's a good feeling! Mine is mainly in preparation for when baby's here, as I only want close friends and family to share my photos and I find Facebook the easiest way to do this considering we live away from them all (husband is in the forces).

Then again, there may be no logical reason why you feel this way, and it may pass. Could just be one of 'those pregnancy things'. I've had weirder ones (eg. wanting to throw drinks in people's faces, even when they've done nothing wrong).

Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well grin

Dogsmom Wed 16-Jan-13 17:00:17

I think it's normal, hormones do very strange things to us women, being pregnant is such a special time and it's nice to feel number 1 for a change and others getting pregnant around you can make us feel like maybe we aren't so special after all.

When William & Kate announced her pregnancy there were posts on here and other forums from people feeling like their pregnancy now wasn't as special and nobody wants to hear her due date is the same as theirs, of course its totally irrational but there's not much we can do about how hormones affect us.

beckie90 Wed 16-Jan-13 17:54:53

I think your right in not posting on fb, its sensible to do, and as sad as it is people do judge young people for having kids. I'm 11weeks with my 3rd and 22 and have not posted my pregnancys on fb because all I see down Facebook is people critising young people for having kids, which I think is very small minded. So I'd rather not post that and be certain peoples status target aim, its all rather pathetic.

On the jealous front I think its very normal to expirience things like that during pregnancy, hormones do plenty of strange things. Congratulations xx

LuckyOwl28 Wed 16-Jan-13 19:19:05

Although I think you've made a mature decision to avoid being brought down by people interfering (especially with hormones running riot!), i'm surprised by the number and nature of comments suggesting this is the only option for someone in your position.

I think it's a sad state of affairs if you don't post things on Facebook purely because of the anticipated reaction of negative, judgmental people. Why be 'friends' with people like that anyway?

Anyway, just a thought. Think it's a shame. xx

marsymum Wed 16-Jan-13 19:32:39

My GP gave me a copy of the magazine for expectant mothers, "Emma's Diary" the other day, from the Royal College of GPs. It has a diary entry talking about feelings of jealousy and gave me the impression that it's not that weird. Yeah, hormones grin

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