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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 16:16:40

Somewhere, DD very definitely did not get any move, or at least none meant too. Also far too keen (shall we say) to "freeze" when meant to. But hey, she's two, and she was SOOO happy grin

cyclecamper Mon 28-Jan-13 16:37:10

scarecrow I'm probably going to be at St Helier - that is where my booking in appointment is. It's a bit closer to me than Epson and I can get there on one bus, which is handy!

My dr gave me my sample pot back to re-use. Since St Helier maternity unit is permanently under threat, I suspect they will do the same.

Got another interview for 3 days temping tonight at 7. It becomes hard work going for the interview when you won't be home till 9 or so! Still, it would be useful to be paid.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 17:53:41

yup scarecrow my DS is 2 years older though i am trying to compare him to others in his age group. at the trial before Xmas he didn't get any moves - just a few months and suddenly he can do a very very rough approximation. love those dance classes though they are unbelievably cute - the one i go to they practice their galloping in pairs and it takes me breath away it's so cute. My DS manfully engaged a little girl to gallop with - you see all this stuff of them as independent personalities that you don't see in any other context.

need to moan. i feel sick again - squished stomach rather than chemical but still. puffy hands. breathless. strained ligaments. jellified crotch. i feel as if my bump is sucking the goodness out of me. i feel like my whole body is slightly hot and inflamed in service of it. i felt like this last time so not exactly worried beyond the usual constant worry. but god although i love having a baby i hate being pregnant! yesterday i couldn't even watch the telly cause i just couldn't get comfortable on the couch. ended up going to bed but in truth even lying down is hard!

we've got to move house this weekend - every time i think of that i feel lovely and peaceful - NOT!

sorry having a Damash moment.

sparkly glad it's all going well. We get new urine bottles whenever we want in my luxury north london nhs trust. Your DH's reaction sounds like an extreme 'going into the cave' reaction in the Venus and Mars style - you are doing the right thing it's good to let them come out of the cave in their own time. you are very good wife.


somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 17:55:07

cyclecamper good luck with your interview! xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 17:57:33

ps scarecrow your DD sounds just lovely! Patience is an excellent trait!


scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:22:00

Ah galloping, Somewhere. You wouldn't be doing Diddi Dance would you? Just we also did galloping. Or rather she did. She would not hold hands with a boy I suspect. Long may that last wink

Sorry you are feeling so cra*. In the wonderful world of this thread I'm picked up from the weekend's real downer so will send over some spare

Sparkly You are a saint. I would try a lot of reassurance too. At times you'll think how flipping immature of him - not then! When you can bear to see he might need reassurance, ask or just give it. Try and get him to voice his fears. It turned out one of my DH's buried fears was that I would not cope (not patronising as I ha past depression) and he would have to look after us both. We had a constructive chat and it did help a bit. And so it goes on. Thinking of you.

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:22:48


scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:23:14

Spare energy. DD keeps pressing buttons smile

eagleray Mon 28-Jan-13 19:08:51

Precious little Baby Eagle is here! Weighs 8lb 12oz and is currently tucked into my nightie refusing to feed!

Will post more soon xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 19:44:44

yes, diddidance! it's great!

eagle awww Baby Eagle! So lovely. What a fabulous weight. Little monkey not feeding! Look forward to updates and full account!


scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 20:39:47

Eagle - an Eaglet. Hurray!! So so thrilled for you. Really heart filling stuff. So glad you both safe. Tell the ungrateful little tyke this is as good as life gets smile
Take such good care xxx

MrsWooster Mon 28-Jan-13 21:43:47

Welcome Eaglet. Enjoy.

cyclecamper Mon 28-Jan-13 21:59:41

Congratulations Eagle grin

Got the job and finally got home again despite the railways. 3 days work should make it worth it. Probably.

BadMissM Mon 28-Jan-13 22:57:05

Eagle Congratulations!!!!!! Welcome to the world, Baby Eagle!!!

Cyclecamper Yay! You got the job!!!

knickyknocks Tue 29-Jan-13 10:20:15

Eagle fab fab fab! thanks thanks thanks Wonderful news, so lovely to hear you and the little eaglet are doing well and are safe and sound. If you get the chance it'd be lovely to hear your labour story (understand though that your time is filled at the mo!)
cycle Carshalton? That's nice and close to me! Fab news too about your job - congratulations!
somewhere yes, the joys of the third trimester continue for both you and I....I am struggling too on getting comfy - so know how the trying to get comfy on the sofa is tricky to say the least - I've been going to bed at 7.30 with about 8 pillows strategically placed around the bed. There is now a huge feather stuffed cushioned wall between me and him at night grin. My problem is that I've got dreadful mid-back pain and it seems to be excruciating by 4pm. Thankfully I only work 4 days a week but that is PLENTY!! I can see the finish line - and you're nearly there too. Please try and get lots of people roped in to help with the move at the weekend. BTW your DS sounds gorgeous!
sparkly so sorry to hear DH is still burying his head in the sand with regards to the pregnancy - think scarecrow offers some excellent advice. I hope he comes round soon my love. It must be difficult to say the very least for you right now.
scarecrow your DD sounds much the same as mine, she always let the other kids bound ahead of her, but she too is fairly robust character, and seems to be very patient. So sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit low with DH being away. When is he back? It's so hard doing the single parent routine being pregnant and having a toddler. Hugs.
Waves to badmissm, mrsW, river and bbd.

For all my whinging and moaning my DD still absolutely makes my day - yesterday on a long walk to the shops, I was moaning about how heavy the buggy was and she suddenly said 'Shall I get out and walk Mummy?' - bless her, then last night, she was rubbing my back when I said it was sore. She makes my heart melt smile.

12 more working days to go till mat leave - not that I'm counting..... <crosses another day off with a big red marker>

BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 10:52:33

Knicky Your DD sounds gorgeous, a lot like mine when she was little.... (she's actually really considerate now, despite me moaning!) Roll on your Maternity Leave...sounds like you really need it!

Scarecrow Know the single parent routine can be hard.... DD and I had it for years.... She sounds happy with her dance classes though. DD used to love them, even though she has inherited her mother's complete lack of co-ordination was a long way from being a dance diva!

Somewhere So you're in my old neck of the woods (the proper side of the river!). Moving house? So not fun, my heart goes out to you xxx

Waves to Sparkly River BBD and Mrs W

I'm now on the diabetic meds...finally....

somewherebecomingrain Tue 29-Jan-13 12:09:00

oh knicky when i hear that i soooo want a daughter (am holding myself in check until i see the proof). she sounds lovely!

you are a bit superheroic working at all IMHO. I am really lucky - three more weeks of part time work and i'm done and its all my own decision. you deserve every pillow in that bed of yours - i hope they are of the finest quality.

and i mean scarecrow/knicky patient AND determined - what a super combo.

cycle great news on the job! always nice to win some work though i bet like the rest of us you'd rather be on a feather bed.

badmiss yes we are both north of the river - not that strange bandit country below. glad you got your meds - hope you are getting lots of other good attention. your daughter sounds great too.

today going to another dentist to try to numb and kill my tooth for the second time. Possibly if I can handle it i will go ahead with the procedure even if it's not properly numb as it needs treatment. I have never been scared of the dentist, and also never had pain when i had DS - maybe this is my comeuppance. [fear]

had two spatones in quick succession and it has helped with third trimester tiredness.

let's get a feather bed with lots of duck-down pillows in the coffee house.


BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 12:14:51

somewhere Am currently a long way north of the River (300 miles or so), but am a North Londoner by birth.... family all still down there....

Owch to the tooth....was bad enough when not pg, but now....ow!

Feather bed sounds great!

scarecrow22 Tue 29-Jan-13 13:35:08

Having a sneaky look at thread over quick lunch. Have to say Knicky your DD sounds adorable - what kindness. She must have a v good role-model smile

Approx speaking of which did any of you mums of sons read "Raising Boys"? And will other mums of DDs read his new "Raising Girls". Am tempted - want to think reading a couple of news articles will suffice, but in my experience books often have a lot more wisdom and sense than a 1,000 second hand version. Time, oh where is the time?!

Perhaps we Shd get copies for the lounge? And a vote for that big bed.

Oh, and what do you guys think of new childcare proposals? My CM horrified and she is super woman, which is all the research I want to do on it.

BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 14:24:32

scarecrow New childcare proposals way to make the Tories' friends in Childcare PLC way more money, whilst treating kids like battery hens. GRRRRR! We need decent state-run subsidised childcare like they have in France.

knickyknocks Tue 29-Jan-13 14:59:36

somewhere you poor thing, the dentist work continues sad. I hope time passes quickly whilst in that chair. Let's hope they get the job finished this time for once and for all so you don't need to go back to the dentist for some time (thank god it's free though - hope you're using your pregnancy NHS free treatment card!). PS I giggled at your description of south of the river 'the strange bandit country below' brilliant description! I definitely think there's a divide between south and north londoners (and not just the obvious one being the large wet expanse of water grin).
BTW I may be a little biased, but happen to think that having a daughter is wonderful. She has been a remarkably placid wonderful toddler, I suspect we may pay the price for this when she gets to her teen years (though badmissm's post gives me hope that I'm wrong!)
badmissm and scarecrow agree that the new childcare proposals sound ludicrous. What the heck difference do qualifications make when it comes to numbers that they can look after? As I understand it, they are not proposing changes to children aged 3 plus but for children who are aged 2 and under. Quite frankly, at that age, I couldn't care less whether the carer has degrees/diplomas or whatever, just as long as they cuddle and nurture my child in the way I would. Far more important IMHO. Quite right badmissm our children are not battery hens.....
scarecrow not heard of the raising girls and raising boys books. Going to have a sneaky peek if I can though. A copy for the lounge please and a third vote for that lovely huge feather bed - whilst we're there could we also employ a reflexologist in the lounge? Feel like I could do with a couple of indulgent treatments before the little one arrives.....

somewherebecomingrain Tue 29-Jan-13 20:31:06

Good day for me - mums cat scan shows her tumours are shrinking and the oncologist said he was 'very pleased'.

Also competent dentist numbed my tooth and Killed nerve cleaned and sealed It and I ate on that side of my mouth for first time in a year.

Waves to all - xxx

cyclecamper Tue 29-Jan-13 21:09:47

somewhere great news about your mum. Sorting out tooth pain is SUCH a relief, isn't it?

re: childcare proposals - the only people who are likely to benefit are the owners of nurseries. The people doing the caring will have more children to look after and exactly the same money as before, guaranteed. Children won't benefit - the qualities neccessary for childcare are common sense, patience and a love of children, none of which you can educate into someone.

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 09:01:18

Somewhere - made my day to hear such good double news. So pleased for your mum - what a motivation it must be for carrying on treatment. A flat, your mum getting better and a LO on the way, I so hope you get the 2013 you deserve smile

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 09:16:05

(Forgive bitty posting, keep cancelling on silly iProduct)

Really interested to hear your views on childcare. By instinct I really dislike them, and am particularly suspicious of free market solutions. However I do find some of the problems Liz Truss trying to solve interesting (I'm assuming these claims are true): especially that we have low child care ratios and v low pay for nursery workers compared with much of Europe; and that children from poorer backgrounds suffer most (averages of course) from poor childcare qualifications, related to evidence that even babies under one benefit from being cared for by somebody with a degree.
It make me realise that as DH and I both have degrees, and though our CM doesn't she is in her 50s and so v wise wink, it is too easy for me to dismiss such things. By the high level of literacy and expression on this thread, I'd guess we are all in similar boat - degree is less important than as a lazy indicator of such qualities. Plus obvs we did O'Levels wink
I guess that having a degree/being able to express yourself and think logically should not preclude love and commonsense, but both might help some children? More instinctively for me is the feeling that having seen some pretty appalling "care" by minders (sitting in playground ignoring children all strapped in buggy for half hour and then leaving - presumably so they could say thy took kids to playground - this minority might be weeded out by a bit more training and/or better pay, which I certainly think is hugely desirable. I feel v uncomfortable living in a society which doesn't see childcare and teaching as one/some of the most important jobs and so pay accordingly - ditto nurses. But that's for another day!

Long ramble. Please understand I'm not saying Liz Truss is right, but I feel I should challenge myself to understand why she is trying to do.

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