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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

cyclecamper Thu 17-Jan-13 23:05:22

eagleray I had the scan - it's definitely a baby! It's reckoned at 19 weeks tomorrow so due mid June. Hopefully the midwife will confirm that when I finally get an appointment to see them! My Husband was held up at work and I went in early, so he nearly missed it all shock, but she very kindly let me go back in so that she could show him, so top marks to her for that smile. I noticed it moving for the first time yesterday, and this evening I think it's getting it's own back for being pushed around during the scan grin.

knickyknocks Fri 18-Jan-13 07:33:08

goat brilliant wise words! Ewan the sheep? Going to have to find out what that is! Ah....the joy of a cold cup of coffee....yes, I have a feeling this is all going to come back to me in 8 weeks time....grin
eagle how you doing my love? Keep an eye on those achey pains down below, seem to recall that these gradually became contraction type pains. Crossing my fingers though it doesn't coincide with absent partner and snow...
scarecrow that recipe has every ingredient that I love - agree though the chances of it being a malteser traybake round here are slim - no pack of maltesers are safe in this house...suspect It'd be just a traybake with a hint of a malteser grin. How's the dizziness today? Any news on results? Just bloody horrible being dizzy. I get terrible dizziness through lack of sleep so understand how debilitating it is.
Hello to 2 more new joiners! foofighter, eminoxford. Sorry to hear you're both at the tiredness stage - I easily found the first trimester the hardest, felt sick, was sick and just wanted to crawl into bed all the time. Mine definitely eased by 14 weeks, then lifted completed a couple of weeks after that.
cycle lovely to hear the scan went well - and lovely yo hear they went through things again for your DP.

Hello to everyone else somewhere (how's DS doing? You OK too?), lotsofcheese, MrsW, Damash (any news please when you can!), badmissm

On snow watch here, nothing so far <twitches curtains to check> but we're in Surrey and the forecast promises only a matter of time. Only got the whooping cough jab today and not intending on going very far. We're all much better, not 100% yet but nearly. The joys of young children bringing all sorts of nasty bugs home from nursery. Hope wherever you are that the snow doesn't make life diFficult. Stay safe please - I'm tempted to get an old tray greased up so I can have a play on the slight slope outside but the chance of (a) my arse fitting on the tray and (b) me ever being able to stand up again without my knees cracking or having to ask my 3 year old to help me back up - are somewhat limited, I may leave that to the lithe non-pregnant young ones grin

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 08:05:20

knicky Glad you are all feeling better. I'm also in Surrey, peering hopefully out of the window!

We went public yesterday. Lots of comments along the lines of 'what are you like' & 'how didn't you know?' grin. I don't think that it's that surprising given the failure rate of vasectomy is about 1/2000 & it's almost unheard of after the first 6 months - it's really not very likely! I don't think it's helped my reputation of being a bit vague!

eagleray Fri 18-Jan-13 08:14:12

Cyclecamper - great news re the scan, but blimey that is some amount of baby! Lovely that you can feel movement now too - I felt movement from very early on, but easier to do if you actually know there's a baby in there smile Very pleased for you - you are halfway there already!

Frankly, I'm a bit fooked due to weather. It's a blizzard outside and my street is utterly undriveable (steep hill which is notorious for snow and ice). DP about 100 miles away and going into meltdown as he didn't think the snow would cause problems (it hasn't really started at his end, but think that's about to change). Just told him to forget work and try and make his way home (his best bet is that he can get most of the way to the house and walk the rest!)

No twinges this morning, so hope to get my snowboots on later and try and at least enjoy this weather!

Loving the arse on tray scenario Knicky - am dead jealous of the people who can use sledges today smile

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 09:44:51

It's definitely coming down here now smile. The commuters who use our street as a car park (near a station, no restrictions and we don't have a car so there is always space) have all obviously taken the day off - it's really quiet. It looks lovely, I wish I could muster the energy to walk into town.

sparklysapphire Fri 18-Jan-13 11:25:38

Hello ladies, may I join you? I'm 44, 8 weeks pregnant, but a bit surprised as I didn't really think I'd get pregnant at my age. DH has taken it really badly, even though he knew we hadn't used contraception for 9 months, so things are tricky at the moment, but obviously it's very early days. I have very few symptoms, apart from sore boobs, so I'm not very confident about the pregnancy progressing. Our DD is 4, so really hoping she will get a sibling.

Waves to knicky, somewhere and cheese, I hope you're all recovered in the knicky house, and somewhere that your DS's hand is healing, sounds terrifying.

knickyknocks Fri 18-Jan-13 13:34:19

Hi sparkly lovely to see you joining us on this thread, so sorry to hear about hubby though. That must be really tough. Hopefully the 12 week scan may help? I think men have a far easier time in life - it's all very well that he's taking it badly but it's directly affecting you at the moment - your hormones and your body. I really do hope he turns any negativity to positive support soon thanks

Surrey has snow, I can see kids in the street and all looks rather magical. DD is very excited about going out with DH later to make a snowman (I am too if only that I get the TV and sofa to myself for an hour or so).

Had my whooping cough jab this morning and it was fine. Another task ticked off the pregnancy list.

I'm off to the thread's coffee lounge for a large hot chocolate with whipped cream and a large flake. Hoping for a young Sean Connery in a tux to serve me grin.

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:37:37

Sparkly too, hello <waves enthusiastically>. Hope the new ladies have some tasty baking recipes lined up for later in the lounge, when you've settled down wink

Snow been falling more and more, solidly since 8am (SW London) - beautiful. DD was but scared for minute or so, then loved it. But took half hour to walk first 50 or so yards from our house. Then nearly hour to walk 5 mins distance on way home. Delightful how enchanted she was grin Hope though near births are safe and able to move. Eagle, can you ring council and ask them to grit? Or get a neighbour to move your car to a gritted road??

CycleCamper, fantastic news. And lucky you to miss most of the long wait and worry of early weeks! Hope you and DP are enjoying the adventure.

Enjoy the snow. See you later in the lounge for large hot chocs all around, maybe with a dash of something, er, warming?!

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:44:30

Oh, sparkly, v much sympathise re DH. Mine freaked for whole first pregnancy, desire us having been trying. He was out drinking all night with female friends some nights, sometimes til 6am :-S, refused to ever discuss plans or kit or names, tried to avoid any appointment except 2 scans... Even in hospital during induction he spent a lot of time on his computer doing emails (trying to pretend it wasn't happening!). From moment DD born he was besotted and has been a wonderful, hands-on, engaged daddy ever since. It's hard, I know I felt v alone sometimes, but keep reassuring him you till love and need him (many men feel v threatened they'll be pushed away), that it's joyful to you because it's his baby, and so on.

In the meantime step into the lounge with me and Knicky for that hot choc with whipped cream. I'll bring ginger nuts x

eagleray Fri 18-Jan-13 14:20:04

Welcome Sparkly - sorry you are having negativity from DH. Been there myself (DP nearly vomiting with horror for first few months) but today is my due date and he's totally ok about it now. Difficult to see what the cause of your DH's bad reaction is (men can be funny things), but hope he gradually comes round.

Am in slightly better position re snow now. DP finally got here at lunchtime (although roads really bad and he was lucky not to have an accident) and we have left his car near the main road so that we have transport if needed. Had a massive battle with the council to get my street gritted and they said no, so now everyone pretty much stuck as snow quite deep outside (snow plough got stuck too earlier!)

Just enjoying peaceful time with tea and cake on the sofa now, and DP has just nodded off so I will sneak off to the lounge and bring my cakes with me smile

Damash12 Fri 18-Jan-13 15:47:46

Hi my little man has arrived!!! Tate John Lloyd 7.13lb.Oh wow he's fab, can't stop looking at him. Thanks to everyone I've had a chat with over the last 9 months and helped me with all sorts of anxieties. The pain was worth it!! Good luck everyone xxx

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 16:35:24

sparkly foofighter eminoxford Hello and waves!!!

Damash Congratulations!!!! wine thanks

We have no snow. Feel very cheated on snow front....! smile.

knicky I don't think we possess a tray big enough for my arse....

I went to see supposedly specialist consultant yesterday. GRRRRRRRARGH.
When I told her I couldn't sleep because of neuro pain, she asked me why paracetamol didn't help. I was on heavy-duty painkillers til my BFP and THEY didn't work. Explained am having lots of joint pain, and perpetual upset stomach (for weeks). I wanted to see the pregnancy physio and make sure wasn't SPD.

Her response- to refer me to the mental health midwife, and do nothing. Because I was depressed a while ago. Is not that which is keeping me awake, but pain.

Asked her about elective CS, and she said that they 'didn't like to plan them'. Ummmm surely that is the point of an elective CS? She said it was 'in case I was prior to term...if you start giving birth, we just let you carry on' . So, they don't like to plan CSs as they cost money, and me nearly killing myself is cheaper?

She also told me I was paranoid. I've been pregnant six times and have had one live birth, and I'm 45. I struggled for DD- haemorraging half the blood in my body, then they thought my heart was giving out. I'm now 14 years older, and the neuro problems mean I seriously doubt I'll be able to push the same way....

So, won't talk about the birth, and she thinks I'm mental. This is the 'good' consultant, apparently....

I want to move somewhere civilised.....! Grrrrrrr. Rant over. I just can't believe I have to give birth at that hospital...they just don't care.

FoofFighter Fri 18-Jan-13 18:06:38

Congratulations Damash, what a gorgeous name writes Tate on list thanks

Thank you all for the welcomes, been for flu jab this afternoon so sporting a sore arm now, to go along with the sore boobs, something else to bang in the night then!

Stay safe in the snow/ice won't you all, nothing here yet though and long may it stay that way please!

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 18:35:41

Still no snow here!!!

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 19:49:19

That sounds really rubbish BadMissM. It all sounds like a fob-off. I hope someone listens to you soon.

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 20:05:15

cyclecamper Just a bit sick of being fobbed off left, right, and centre. Midwife not really bothered, so was hoping the consultant might listen...

blueblackdye Fri 18-Jan-13 20:07:24

BadMiss, Agree with CyclCamper, are you surethere is no hidden camera and nobody is going to jump out of nowhere sreaming "you've been framed"? Hame myMum lives far from the Franco Britanique hospital otherwise I would askher to accomodate you.
Damash, congrats, enjoy your little boy !
Eagle, you must feel so relieved now that DP is with you, talk to baby and say because it is cold and snowing outside, it should stay put inside and wait for a few days....
Welcome foofFighter, sparky, eminoxford. Hope I have not forgotten anyone

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 20:11:06

BadMissM Maybe keep complaining to GP? You have the right to send a written complaint and they have to answer it. If you have the energy, keep making a fuss and hopefully they'll get the message in the end.

GoatBongosAnonymous Fri 18-Jan-13 20:16:51

cyclecamper yours is an amazing story!
Damash congratulations! Don't forget to come visit us on the grad thread...
badmissm I absolutely agree that you should complain.

You seem to have lots of yummy things on this thread! As I am trying to lose pregnancy weight, I LOVE thread food - it's calorie free! Pass the biscuits, someone!

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 20:20:31

cyclecamper I would, but last time I complained about anything, they refused to give me appointments.... There is just so little choice around here...

bbd I do feel like I must have the kind of face people don't take seriously, or listen to. My bf had same consultant and she was brilliant with her. All of my friends who lived in Paris have moved away, or I would consider it!

eagle My DD turned up during the worst snow Paris had had for about 40 years!

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:35:56

Eagle, because DD is such a happy little soul I think snow babies are magical special babies smilesmilesmileYours will be too and you will never forget LO was born into a magical wonderland of a world and you can both spend the first days cosy together with DP, as it will be for years... Though I increasingly feel motherhood is a lifetime agony of letting go, from the moment they leave your womb. I want to admit that sometimes I want to put DD back in again and start over, but that makes me sound too weird ;)

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:39:39

On a less soppy note (forgive me am all tearful that DH just left for two weeks hmm)... Damash's wonderful news and cute (cool, ahem!) name reminds me to ask... Anybody else finding it hard to find names that have not already been snaffled by family/BFs/snotty kids down the road that have put you off/etc?! Too hard!

Huge happy wonderful congratulations, Damash. Come back and let us know how you get on x

blueblackdye Fri 18-Jan-13 21:15:30

Well Scarecrow, I wanted DCs to have names that would remind them of their origins and easy to pronounce in different languages. Asked in laws and they came up with French names although they are French by adoption only. Asked my Mum and she gave me a list of names that my Dad suggested 28 years ago when their first grand child was born, in the meantime, another 20 grand children joined the clan... shock in the end we had to find the names by ourselves, 2 with Russian/Eastern Europe origin and 2 from South East Asia as their middle names. But 2 nephews born with only one week gap from 2 of my brothers have the same name. Good luck !

sparklysapphire Fri 18-Jan-13 22:28:20

Congratulations Damash. Eagleray, due date in all this snow - hopefully it won't cause you any problems, good luck, and your baby will decide to do the sensible thing and stay put until the weather improves. Glad your DH came round in the end.

MissM, it sounds like the consultant wasn't really listening to you and just wanted to tick some boxes. I hope you manage to get to see the specialists you need to. Can you change hospitals?

scarecrow, yep my DH completely freaked out for my entire pregnancy with DD too, sounds very much like yours, except without the all night drinking, he just didn't want to know, to the extent I wasn't sure he'd stay when she was born. He took to her straight away, is a great dad, and she thinks the world of him. I thought this time it'd be different, but so far not.

Thank you for the welcome everyone, I hope to be here for the duration, but nature may have other ideas.

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:47:36

Sparkly, I forgot that DH also said for whole pregnancy he didn't want to be at birth. I (am not sure how) remained v calm and said I was happy to have a birth doula. I did some research but sneakingly thought he'd change his mind... A few weeks before I said we needed to make a final decision and book up somebody, and sure enough he said GE thought he might stay with me. Good thing I know that dero down he's so much nicer than he makes out ;)

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