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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

somewherebecomingrain Thu 07-Mar-13 16:12:55

Ps that was heavy irony about the luxury after the csection

cyclecamper Thu 07-Mar-13 16:15:18

Happy Birthday somewhere! brewthanks

scarecrow22 Thu 07-Mar-13 23:10:49

NotSoOld - your message brought joy. What gorgeous news. Hope you stay a well as possible and visit as often (we hope) or not as feels right. We will all make a special comfy chair in snug free for you.
Take care

Another week down (I work Mon-Thur), two more to go. So 8 days. Have far far too much to so for 8 days... Yikes!

Night Alex

somewherebecomingrain Fri 08-Mar-13 09:04:33

Oh Blimey scarecrow hang in there. You hard workers deserve a medal.

Last night dp took me out for surprise meal at our fave French restaurant which we havent been to for a couple of years to economise. Iwatched him get tipsy on fine wine and stuff his face. by the second course I was in abdominal discomfort and couldn't carry on and wanted to be carried out on a stretcher. Still, what a sweetie.


sparklysapphire Fri 08-Mar-13 11:28:19

Notsoold, that's great news about your scan, here's hoping it's plain sailing from now on.

Happy birthday for yesterday somewhere. How lovely to have a surprise outing, even though you couldn't finish your meal. I hope you're feeling better today. I hope your mum's chemo continues to work, it must be stressful dealing with her illness as well as being pregnant.

Knicky, the lost ring saga doesn't sound good, I'm glad you found it. Due to the difficulties we're having at the moment, I'm particularly attached to my wedding ring (I take it off at night), which seems a bit odd even to me, but I'm making sure I'm wearing all day - I sometimes don't put it on til I go out.

All the baking you all do sounds lovely, I can just about manage the occasional batch of muffins so I'm very impressed smile.

I haven't told DD about the baby yet, partly because of how DH is, but if I tell her she will definitely tell her nanas on the phone, and I want to avoid that. I'm hoping my mum can come for a few days next week, so I'll tell her then, and I'm debating when to tell my MIL, cos apparently it's up to me to tell her. I don't think I should leave it until she arrives at our house the day before we go on holiday, but I don't think I can hide it for the 2 weeks we're away (she's paying for the trip so coming too). I don't know if she'll be pleased to be having another grandchild or cross with me for upsetting her precious DS, or cross with him cos of how he's reacting. Either way, I don't want a bad atmosphere (or a worse one) before we even leave the house. I've been on nights so not much communicating going on between DH and I, but in general things are no better.

We're going to a wedding reception tomorrow. Both the suitable dresses I have to wear to a wedding, really emphasise my bump, even though in most clothes I can conceal it, so I'm really hoping I can find something appropriate that won't give the game away. Lots of DH's colleagues will be there and I don't want to put him in the awkward position of having people noticing and congratulating when he feels the way he does. And I need a reason not to drink, we're staying over so I can't even say it's cos I'm driving home. I'll probably have the sparkling wine or whatever for the toast but that's it, so any ideas welcome!

Sorry for the ramble (again), I must go and do something constructive and get off MN!

I hope everyone is well, and you all have a lovely weekend. SSx

knickyknocks Fri 08-Mar-13 13:25:00

notsoold fab wonderful news thanks. Just fantastic to read.
somewhere happy birthday! I too turn 41 this month - hoping that the little one will have made an appearance by my birthday which is on the 25th. I love French food, - glad DH had a good time hmm But all the same lovely for you and him to have some quality time together before the wee one makes an appearance. As for preparing DD, I took her to mothercare to pick out a couple of sleepsuits for him, and have got a couple of books 'I'm a big sister' type thing from amazon. I've got a small plastic box of nappies, wipes, spare clothes for the living room and she helped me pack that too - I've also told her that mummy will need to go to hospital to have her baby brother - I just don't want her to be too shocked if I disappear in the middle of the night.
Lovely to hear the flat is working out. Fab that you're just round the corner from your parents. Thank you for the update on your mum. Chemo is such a rough old ride, but thankfully in fairly short bursts - think the trick is always to have something to look forward to (and her new grandchild will definitely help with that smile. Sorry to hear you're feeling so rough and tired. We're both nearly there now and for both of us I think we know this will be our last time (I couldn't do this again!!)
sparkly oh love. Not sure what to suggest - I do wonder if it's better to tell MIL before you go. I suspect the same as you that you're not going to be able to keep it under wraps for 2 weeks. Plus the wedding, I'd be almost inclined to wear something to bring it to people's attention - it seems so unfair that you're trying your damndest to spare his feelings when I feel he's not acting the same in return. Understand though that you don't want a scene at the wedding but it really won't be long now till people start guessing. Maybe time to have a conversation to say that if people ask, you're not going to lie. If he responds negatively to people asking, then I'm hoping that talk of a new baby generally brings out the positive in opinions - so his negativity will be dampened by people saying how lovely it will be. Oh god not easy - and know how working nights gets in the way of talking to your partner. It's sometimes lovely to have space but things can just drag on when one of you is working nights. I often don't see DH for 3 or 4 nights in a row which definitely gets in the way of any important chats we may have.

AFM, am fine, baby seems to have almost slowed down a bit though still has his manic moments. I keep drinking ice cold drinks and eating chocolate to make sure he's OK.. Just want him to arrive safe and sound now.

scarecrow22 Fri 08-Mar-13 14:09:11

1. Wear dress you feel best in, then bat away direct questions with joke like "that's no way to flatter a lady!"
2. Say you are pacing yourself with drink and order a soft drink as if it was sandwiched by wine. You can even get a second glass and "loose" it. Or maybe say you are on a bit of a health kick - might explain 'tum' showing.
3. I'd write to mum in law- tell her news and some details like dates and scan to get her involved, then say telling pple slowly as tho you and DH were trying he is now overwhelmed and worried, and while you wish he could share your joy you know he can't help the reaction and so you want to support him as best you can - and (perhaps?) you'd welcome their ideas and help. If she knows you were trying she can't blame you, plus by being positive and supportive you might get useful support from her.
My friends often - I suspect - think I'm soft on DH, but as I might have said elsewhere I don't think you can help panic, only help yourself 'react' to or 'deal' with it, and even that is hard.
Just some thoughts.
Enjoy day maybe too, if poss; might be good for you to have time outside baby worry.

Tired and worried will delete for 4th time so wave to rest x

BadMissM Fri 08-Mar-13 17:51:47

Want to cry. Just posted really long post, it got eaten before it posted....!

cyclecamper Fri 08-Mar-13 18:11:11

Oh no! It's frustrating when that happens. (I try ctrl and x or z whichever it is, I do it so often blush - it saves it most of the time)

scarecrow22 Fri 08-Mar-13 19:49:12

Somewhere ... 27.5 hours later I am still laughing inside at the notion that you ate looking forward to a little girl who will not think making a mess is an end in itself, presumably alongside throwing things, banging things or otherwise testing the destructive properties of the world around her... I hate to spoil the dream but...heck, I won't spoil it wink
Unless you have an angel toddler, obvs!
It's keeping me amused until then...

Sorry you have sonny horrible symptoms. Deeply feel for you.

Take care all x

somewherebecomingrain Fri 08-Mar-13 23:53:25

scarecrow if you have a boy I think you'll find there are some nuanced points of contrast there, some new heights or depths of the generic childhood urge to trash the joint!. But yes. Xxxx

scarecrow22 Sat 09-Mar-13 09:57:05

I was semi joking. IME girls usually if not always a bit easier than boys, though also (as generalisation) more convoluted/manipulative. If your DD does not have her daddy wrapped around her finger in weeks I'll eat a nipple pad smile DD literally flirts with her daddy when she wants something. She does however sometimes also just tip everything everywhere for the sheer devilry of it, etc.!
Can't wait for you to share joy!!

scarecrow22 Sat 09-Mar-13 09:59:16

PS for avoidance of doubt/insult, I also love little boys. In fact it was my addiction to my nephews that made me finally address probs in way of children. I just don't know if I will have one... Getting intensely (agonisingly) curious now!

scarecrow22 Sun 10-Mar-13 08:27:52

At risk of hogging thread,

Happy Mothers' Day to you all. Even those waiting for first, you are mummies too - you just haven't had to clean up the poo yet wink

sparklysapphire Sun 10-Mar-13 13:48:36

Happy Mother's Day to everyone, mums and mums-to-be, I hope you are all being pampered as you deserve, especially those of you about to give birth!

Thank you for knicky & scarecrow for your advice and suggestions re the wedding yesterday. In the end I found a sparkly top to wear with a skirt, which was fine. My dresses were both a bit tight under the bust, as well as making me look obviously pregnant, and nobody queried the non-drinking, I think having the champagne for the toast helped. It was a good do, though DD flopped about 10pm so I had to leave to put her to bed. She's currently catching up on her missing sleep! Also, DH aside, I didn't really want lots of people to know before our mums do. I'm still debating what to do about MIL, wondering if Skype is the way forward, but I'm not sure. By the time we get back from holiday I'll be 20 weeks, which is hard to hide, and if we go swimming it'll be obvious too. Thank you scarecrow again for your useful suggestions on that one.

DD is currently sleeping off her late night, and I should be tidying up

ChairmanWow Sun 10-Mar-13 14:01:31

I do love my little boy. He does some of the stereotypical boy stuff, but he also really likes tidying up, especially wiping the table after meals and putting bath toys away. He gives the cat his toys to play with and is very cuddly. I wouldn't change him for owt.

Anyway, sorry been a bit quiet since weeweegate. I thought I was going to be posting a birth announcement on here! I started in, ahem, 'labour' on Thursday night. Had 8 hours of contractions, the last 3 hours of which were every 31/2 minutes. It felt stronger than the first part of my labour with DS. So, off we trotted to hospital at 4.30am. The MW examined me. 1 bloody centimetre! She said my cervix was soft and forward so it was starting and told me I'd be having my baby that day. Advised me to go home and try to sleep. I did this and the friggin' contractions stopped. Since then, nada! Lost some plug but that's it. I could kick myself for going to bed. I might have had her if I'd tried to keep things going. Aaaaarrrgh!

Sorry this is all a bit me, me, me but I'm a bit obsessed with getting back into labour. Time for another nipple twiddle grin. I will make this happen!

Happy mothers day to all thanks

knickyknocks Sun 10-Mar-13 14:14:49

chairman oh blimey - you nearly pipped us all at the post! I just don't get labour, how can contractions be every 3 and a half minutes and stop?! that cervix of yours sounds ready to go though, so really don't think you'll be waiting much longer. I'm still hoping I won't be far behind you, but equally could see this LO staying inside until they prise him out through an induction.....

Can I just vent? DH has been off for the past 3 days, he got up with DD this morning at 6.15 (fairly normal for DD) and he's just gone to bed this afternoon as he's exhausted.....This is what I couldn't stand last time in the early days of DD - I seem to remember being on my knees with tiredness and he'd be popping himself to bed in the afternoon when in reality it had been me getting up all night with DD. Are we just made of sterner stuff than our blokes ladies? Or is my DH just bordering on a bit pathetic when he's tired? Just as he went upstairs 10 minutes ago saying how tired he was, I wanted to say that today was my first lie in for weeks, and I'm 39 weeks pregnant so how the heck does he think I feel?? angry. Right had my vent. He'd better get up full of energy later otherwise I may have a hormonal outburst at him.......

ChairmanWow Sun 10-Mar-13 18:03:39

Vent away! That is rather pathetic. Some people just aren't prepared to be tired, are they. I'm pretty lucky with my DH, but I've heard some crappy excuses, like 'she's better at coping with tiredness than me'. Which means she can be up feeding all night and still has to put a full day in. I'd suggest being tough with him but I'm sure you are already. Can he give some expressed milk or formula in the night when baby is here? Otherwise come on here for a good old whinge and some brew, biscuit and sympathy.

knickyknocks Sun 10-Mar-13 19:07:22

Thank you I feel so much better to have vented...! DH is currently giving DD a bath - thankfully he got up full of the joys...but still I do think he could be a little less pathetic when it comes to tiredness. chairman will defo be expressing for him to do the late feed and I'll do the early hours of morning feeds. He has already agreed to this, so I know I'm extremely lucky - buuut the price will be him being moaning like the clappers the next day about how tired he is. Still, I'll just let it flow over me as I know that the alternative will be me doing all the feeds. As for you, you must be on tenterhooks for any sign/twinge??

ChairmanWow Sun 10-Mar-13 19:29:09

I keep getting the odd twinge but nothing in the way of contractions. I don't know which will wear out first - my birth ball, my nipples (am still trying the old tuning into Radio Luxembourg!) or my bloody patience! I guess she'll arrive in her own good time.

Glad venting has helped. One good thing about not being able to BF last time was DH helping with night feeds, especially the midnight-ish one do I could go and get my head down for a few hours. It's all coming back to me. Eeek!

Maybe you should jokingly turn his whinging into a 'who is the most tired' competition, so when he says 'I'm exhausted' you say, 'yeah well I'm so shattered I can see three of you' and so forth.

Honestly, anyone would think women were genetically programmed to be superhuman. Oh, hang

MrsWooster Sun 10-Mar-13 20:02:36

Aargh! It's like NCT class all over again, when I was so late that the others were practically discussing primary school applications by the time we had our first meet up! No real signs here - maybe an odd twinge but she's nowhere near engaged, to the point of being able to rub her head as it poked out past my hip bone. Happy Mothers Day to all.

knickyknocks Sun 10-Mar-13 20:37:40

grin MrsW

We took DD to a 4th birthday party yesterday and at least 2 of the mums kept commenting how high up the bump was inferring I had WEEKS to go yet. FGS it's baby not an elephant...! I can't bloody tell whether he's dropped, high up or slung over my shoulder, all I would love is to get on with things now.

chairman I actually laughed out loud when I read your tiredness competition suggestion which prompted hubby to ask what I was laughing at.....oops. Still didn't let on as have full intentions of using your suggestion if needs be! Keep twiddling - you never know it might just do the trick grin. I don't have a birthing ball, only DD's mini trampoline and don't fancy a bounce on that at the moment. God knows what could happen to the foundations in the house if I gave it a go......

knickyknocks Sun 10-Mar-13 20:37:40

grin MrsW

We took DD to a 4th birthday party yesterday and at least 2 of the mums kept commenting how high up the bump was inferring I had WEEKS to go yet. FGS it's baby not an elephant...! I can't bloody tell whether he's dropped, high up or slung over my shoulder, all I would love is to get on with things now.

chairman I actually laughed out loud when I read your tiredness competition suggestion which prompted hubby to ask what I was laughing at.....oops. Still didn't let on as have full intentions of using your suggestion if needs be! Keep twiddling - you never know it might just do the trick grin. I don't have a birthing ball, only DD's mini trampoline and don't fancy a bounce on that at the moment. God knows what could happen to the foundations in the house if I gave it a go......

blueblackdye Sun 10-Mar-13 21:00:49

Ladies, I can't tell how much I laughed reading your posts. Thank you so much. It was a tiring day but a good laugh with you just changed my vision.
I m keeping my fingers crossed for all of you that labour starts soon and keeps going steadily until LO are actually in your arms. AFM I used from the beginning of the 9th month rasberry leaves and sage infusion, one helps softening the cervix, the other helps the womb to contract. Also had osteopathy and sweep in week 38. Had baby eventually at 39+2 without any other intervention.
Oh, exciting time ahead ! Looking forward to hearing your good news. Will now go to the other thread to prepare for you.

scarecrow22 Sun 10-Mar-13 21:27:18

Just bought box set of Borgen season 1 on eBay (and sold original bugaboo which feel little sad about...)
I was disappointed by The Killing - and Borgen fans on here??

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