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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

LottieH Fri 22-Feb-13 14:10:55

Pompom. Don't fear the worst as my sickness started at different times. It could well be that your body is particularly fit & healthy this pregnancy and therefore isn't making you feel sick as you have all the nutrients you need right now. Why don't you ask your mw for an early scan at the EPU for peace of mind? x

Pompom111 Fri 22-Feb-13 14:41:03

Hi, thanks, I haven't even been to the doctors yet incase anything happens, think I will make an appointment, explain how worried I am, and see about an early scan to at least put my mind at rest like you say, thanks lottie

BadMissM Fri 22-Feb-13 15:55:49

Lottie Much further in Lancashire! Everyone thinks I'm mad though...

AIBU can be found at...

Glad to hear the sickness easing off!

Waves to Pompom111!

ChairmanWow Fri 22-Feb-13 16:35:44

MissM so sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. That must have been so painful. I hope this pregnancy is going well and you're not feeling too worried. And that there is an end in sight with your case soon!

Pompom I didn't get sickness til 8 weeks with my first and it wasn't that much. Didn't get sore boobs or much else either apart from rhinitis. This time, crippling nausea from 7 weeks. I know women who hardly had any nausea at all but we're desperate to feel sick so it gave them more confidence. It's a weird old game this pregnancy lark.

iclaudius Fri 22-Feb-13 20:46:05

Pompom I have had Pgs without and miscarriages WOTH morning sickness - try not to fret - I'm one to talk but was at the scan place ( private) at 6.0 weeks with both my last two Pgs!
I am pg now and had no tiredness no sickness no nothing till 11-12 weeks and indeed my hormone levels are low but still sustaining a pg
I know it's a stress - did you say you were on your 6th ? There's a few of us bigger families around!
Oh - and welcome !!!!

iclaudius Fri 22-Feb-13 20:48:14

Badmiss I am wondering where your dd goes to school as despite going to a great school now we are mooting ds going to Lancashire for sixth form. Not wanting to out either of us but do PM me if you have any info I should know about local schools ;)

butterybiscuitbass Fri 22-Feb-13 21:42:51

Hello 40+ mums, I've come to join you- lord knows I need some peers! I had my first 6 weeks off my 40th birthday, followed by 3 MC's, then a second son when I was 43. Didn 't expect to be blessed with a 3rd, but now happy to be 21 weeks pg with my 3rd! I'm 44.

I've had a lot of mixed reactions to my, or should I say our, choice to start a family in our 40's, but to us the time is right (as well as tight!) and it feels good. I don't know anyone like me though I have to say. Anyway, hello smile

KangarooKaz Fri 22-Feb-13 22:23:15

Wow thanks for the MASSIVE welcome everyone - after a long day to log on and find you all chatting was lovely smile. Well the good news is no tears today so the hormones are being good . I have however been thinking ahead and as I think I will probably over analyse everything about this pregnancy as the weeks go buy I want to give myself something to look forward to and keep me busy as it gets closer and I am potentially more nervous......SO I have decided to buy the box set of the original series of Dallas for later down the line to keep my brain occupied when I am putting my feet up. I figured its 14 series of about 10 episodes and should keep me busy. That is unless I am running around like a headless chicken preparing for new baby arrival. I am sure someone can give me a reality check smile.

Remnant if you are still reading I hope you are ok and I am so sorry to hear your news.

Sparkly i hope it all works out for what you want in the end

Gracie survivor lady - life is moving on with happy times ahead

Lottie H Thanks for the reassurances you are giving about hormones and morning sickness - glad to have you around and good luck with your new addition, I am sorry about your twin x

Scarecrow my DH said to me yesterday "having a baby will not change our lives, lets face it we are boring gits" so I will join you in the excitement about the party. Enjoy more of those cuddles with your DD. I echo others re the working hours. If you are energised by it because you are doing something you love that's fine but if you are doing it because you feel a pressure that is being put on you by others or yourself just check in with yourself about what is important to you right now and use that to guide what you do. Be happy that is most important. 4 weeks.....not long now.

BadMissM waves back and I am not sure how it works connecting on these forums but if I can help you in anyway for what is happening with you right now then let me know. I am a coach and have a HR background. Whatever happens being able to deal with the little triggers you get inside that make you uptight will be key. Hear things people say in this tribunal, let it pass over you and respond with what you want guided by your purpose for doing this tribunal. Someone passed on a Buddha quote to me recently - "if you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are calm you are in the present" it helped me anyway. Hope it sorts out soon so you can really relax.

Somewhere I did Larkin at School and this is a lovely name I agree with the others. I was sitting here thinking what are the ones I remember from school so I quickly looked them up and found one that was a favourite with the kids in the class becuase it contained naughty words not for reprinting with such young ears listening in from our tummies.

Swaye I am right behind you (4 weeks then)learning from your experiences and here if you need to step back to join me 4 weeks earlier for a chat anytime.

Pompom good luck with number 6 - you and others who have had lots of babies give me confidence to be a brave woman and do the labour thing even though I think it has scared me for years and is probably why it has taken a long time

chummy I'm also crossed for you x

Chairman enjoy this time before baby - not long now I am gathering from the thread???

Mrs W, BBD, Freckler, I claudius and anyone I missed on the thread. Big introductory hello waves to all. I am being called so I have to run now.......catch you later

ChairmanWow Fri 22-Feb-13 22:46:46

Kangaroo box sets rule! I remember sitting up watching every series of 30 Rock when I had insomnia last time. And the Wire. Dec the way forward.

Butterybiscuitbass hello! I can't get Greg Wallace's voice out of my head now! Congrats on baby number 3. Hope you're feeling well and not getting too much judgy age-related silliness.

Soooo, the house move is now on, or as our solicitor has said, 99% on. We found out at 4pm today. Can't tell you how relieved we are at not having to do this with newborn in tow, but so pissed off at being dangled along by our stupid, selfish buyers. Any suggestions on sabotage welcome grin. They think they can mess a heavily pregnant hormonal woman around - they will rue the day!

sparklysapphire Sat 23-Feb-13 01:01:12

Wow it's been busy on here this week. Due to work and family visiting I haven't had chance to post, but I've tried, not necessarily successfully, to keep up.

MissM, I can't understand why your hospital is so unwilling to consider an ELCS. Is it a cost thing? Surely ending up with a EMCS costs more in the end than a planned one, and anyway the whole point is that it's elective, therefore you should be able to choose it if you have a reason too, and you surely do.

Knicky, despite having to work today, I hope you're thoroughly enjoying your maternity leave, and making the most of the next few weeks.

Chairman, have you got a moving date? It's ridiculous you're being so messed around, do the buyers not know you're pregnant, and even if they don't, they shouldn't be messing you around like this.

Somewhere, how is your DS's hand? Any more news?

Eagle, lovely to hear from you, glad things are going better with the feeding.

Welcome to kangaroo, lottie, buttery, freckler, swaye & pompom. Pompom, I'm nowhere near as experienced as you at being pregnant - this is my 3rd, but I've had no nausea at all this time. I felt terrible in the first trimester with DD, and my first pregnancy ended in m/c and I had no sickness then either, so I was convinced this would be the same. Even though I've seen the baby twice on scans, I'm still not wholly convinced I'm pregnant, which is ridiculous! Lottie, your MILs reaction was "interesting", it's not like you're teenagers....

I missed the call from the hospital yesterday, due to the rubbish mobile reception where I work, so I had to listen to the voicemail 3 times to check that the midwife really did say that my low risk Down's result is 1 in 20,000. This seems so absurdly low, that I'm going to double check on Monday. I haven't told DH yet, and it will no doubt spark another round of silences and tears. This week has been ok, but the fundamental issue remains. We were at MILs last weekend so got to go for lovely, but cold, beach walks and part of me was thinking, what if it was the last time we got to do that as a family? MIL has been threatening to take us to Florida and do the Disney thing for a while - she really wants to take DD, but I'm not that keen. DH reckoned by the time this one is old enough to appreciate it, MIL won't be up to going. The upshot is we are going for 2 weeks at Easter and she's paying for the whole trip. I know I should be grateful, but I'm pretty daunted at spending two weeks plus with her. We didn't tell her - I haven't told any of my family yet, though I did tell another friend at work. I've got no idea how my family'll react but I want to tell them in person, and they're not nearby, so more travelling beckons. I'm in no hurry to go public under the circumstances, though I realise nature will eventually make the decision for me!

Hi to cycle, mrsW, chummy, scarecrow & BBD, apologies if I've missed anyone.

ChairmanWow Sat 23-Feb-13 05:22:28

Awake since 4 thinking about the frigging house! Sorry Sparkly should have said, the move is on Tues. Thus was the final, final deadline we have having extended it twice. I'll be 37+4 and with a 23 month old in tow. Such fun! We had a nightmare booking a removal firm at such short notice and are paying way over the odds.

Sparkly that's great news about your Downs risk. I bet few women of any age get odds that long. Such a shame you can't celebrate it with your partner. I'm assuming things are still the same. I wonder if having it out in the open when you do tell everyone will actually make him start to accept it. He'll have to talk about it with friends and family, perhaps some positivity from others will wake him up a bit or at least convince him this isn't the end of the world. Hope so.

ChairmanWow Sat 23-Feb-13 05:23:28

This not thus.

knickyknocks Sat 23-Feb-13 09:55:50

Gosh it's been busy in here - fantastic stuff - prroving those doom and gloom daily mail type articles that the over 40's have no chance in concieving.

Hello to all the newcomers kangaroo, pompom, swaye and buttery (hope I haven't forgotten anyone).

sparkly I wonder if getting it all out in public would help the situation - like chairman says it then forces him into talking about it. Plus usually grandparents and the like are excited and positive about a new arrival. Maybe MIL knowing will be for the best? Do you have any idea how you think she'll take the news? BTW fab fab fab about the risk of downs - such low risk thanks.
chairman HURRAH! You're on the move! Yes, with 23 month in tow and 37 +4 but thank god, it's not hanging over you with a newborn. Just make sure your job on the day is to keep topping all and sundry up with cups of tea and hobnobs. Suspect that by the end of next week you'll be absolutely shattered. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.
kangaroo loving the sound of those box sets for later on in the pregnancy!
somewhere how are you? How's DS these days? Yes, Mr Knicky is fine rather more sympathetic to his slow moving waddling wife these days. He's tending to bath DD when he's home, do the shopping and hoovering so can't complain.

Did my full day at work yesterday and I'm now shot of that place for about a year grin. 3 weeks tomorrow with my due date. Hospital bag is packed. Full routine for DD left on fridge for whoever will be doing DD duties whilst I'm in the throws of labour. Keep having a few small panics that the LO will be here soon and I'll be dealing with two (I feel a little silly saying that given LottieHs wonderful 5!) But, for the most part I'm keen to get onto the next stage now - not so keen for the labour of course - but have had enough of wincing every time I bend over to put shoes on and moving at the rate of a heavily pregnant snail.......

Hello to everyone else scarecrow (not long till mat leave for you!), iclaudius, lottieH (hope the nausea is weakening it's grip and if not that it will do soon.....), badmissm and anyone else I've inadvertently missed off!

As it's Saturday morning, there's a fresh plate of warmed buttery croissants and jammy pastries for everyone in the snug, with latte's being served by Daniel Craig in his blue swimming trunks (hope he doesn't spill anything....). George Clooney is offering foot rubs to anyone who'd like one grin.

scarecrow22 Sat 23-Feb-13 14:46:19

Welcome to lots of lovely sounding new-fab 40s: kangaroo, Lottie, buttery, freckles, swaye, pompom - and sorry if I've missed any. Come back and remind me.

The list of us all is a bit out of date, even Sparkly isn't on it. But here it is, (a) to help you "meet" the old oldies, and (b) so you can post your details when you are ready to be added - now or after 12 week scans, as preferred.

10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
Bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey, 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor, 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget, 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby” 45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen, 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, DC2, a girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1, girl, Jan
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy

Swanlike, 41, 31/1

Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 46, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept

See, I said it was like a party smile

chummy1 Sat 23-Feb-13 17:01:58

Wow Scarecrow22 .... that's impressive commentary!

I spent yesterday licking my wounds. Test was neg. Zero HCG. Goodness knows where my missing period went ...and as for the sore boobs etc ......who knows!!!! alas we are back on the hamster wheel sad
All is not lost. AF due in about one week....! Its in the hands of the gods now....

I would like to thank everyone for the invaluable support provided on this brilliant thread!

Hope to be in a position to legitimately join 'your club' soon

Good luck to all xxx

MrsWooster Sat 23-Feb-13 17:14:06

Christ: the hospital bag! Routine for DS! Two to cope with! thanks, Knicky!! It all seems an awful long way off, not three weeks on Thursday. Welcome to all the new newbies - it may seem like a long way off now but it doesn't half creep up on you...

BadMissM Sat 23-Feb-13 17:34:24

Waves to *Pompom 111 Hello and Welcome!

I've not really had much morning sickness with this LO, and didn't with DD... I had horrendous morning sickness with baby I lost before DD...

Lottie They all think I'm some kind of congenital idiot to want another baby...especially my parents! The MIL has been brilliant, she has even offered to come and hold my hand during the birth as my mother wants nothing to do with it...she's very sweet and an ex-nurse.

The DD is being very sweet. Went into town with her earlier and she carried everything home on the bus!

ChairmanWow I took it really badly at the time as thought (quite normally at 43) that was probably my last chance.... This pregnancy all fine so far, and am a lot calmer. I just wish they would give me the new dates....

Iclaudius and pompom I always wanted lots of LOs, but with marriage no1 breaking up, and me and DH not getting together til our 40s, just didn't happen!smile

Waves to butterybiscuitbass It's up to you when you want to start..and what makes you happy!

KangarooKaz DD and I are going to get the box sets of Buffy out! Love the comment from DH! Priceless!

Thanks for the's been really hard with no support from a union, and have had to be really careful not to let them trigger things, which is of course what they want to do. I've only got a little bit left to go's just hanging in there for the last little bit, and not losing my nerve.

ChairmanWow Good luck for the move, must be such a relief to have it happen sooner rather than later...

Sparkly Think it's about both control, and money. They want to have control, and they don't want to spend money!

Even though LO wiggling now, still hard to convince myself I'm pregnant!!

My parents obviously can't deal with the fact I'm pregnant...hardly a teenage pregnancy! It wasn't even easy telling them...

WOW! at your Downs result! That's amazing! Mine was a rubbish 1 in 15, but I had the Harmony Test and that was 1 in 10,

ChairmanWow You just have to think, Tuesday and it's done! (Though I know it's hard to think past that!)

Knicky Never believe anything you read in the 'Daily Mail'. Yay for finally being free of work for a while! The croissants and the waiters sound lovely! thanks

Scarecrow The list is busy, and more to add! smile

Chummy Just keep hanging in there, and believing! xxx thanks

Me... achey as hell today. Partially because I think we're all going down with the bug from hell MIL accidentally brought round on Thursday. Partly because DH and I actually went OUT to a Vintage Vinyl Disco, and I found it hard to stop myself dancing like a loon. smilePaying for it today though, PGP/SPD from hell. Limped round town with DD earlier (her friend let her down).

ARGH! Also cross. DH texted by sister asking if free today to go to party to celebrate all-clear from cancer. So he rang her...when she asked if he couldn't 'slip away for an hour' to come. Meaning DD and I not invited...but his ex is. DH sweetly and loyally told her he was busy. Nice to be accepted as part of the family....not.

knickyknocks Sat 23-Feb-13 18:18:20

Chummy so sorry to hear about the HCG - definitely give the 40+ conception thread a look in. I really hope to hear some lovely news from you soon XX
MrsW I know!! It just sort of creeps up on bag and routine for DD is a recent development chez Knicky. Starting to step up the nagging of Mr Knicky for the newborn car seat to be brought down from the loft, and the buggy board to be attached to the pram. Could do without the buggy board but defo need the car seat....
badmissm loving the sound of the vinyl night. You must be paying the price now though! Your DH's sister hmm so thoughtful.....not! And inviting the ex?? You must have to bite your tongue!

cyclecamper Sat 23-Feb-13 18:54:28

Badmissm What a lovely SIL hmm. Unbelievable how people can be. Vintage vinyl disco sounds fun! I wish I had the energy to dance around like a loon! I can hardly stay awake after working yesterday.

It's nice to see so many new people here. smile

My husband's offering today is far breton, which is interesting, but needed to be slightly sweeter. He's found a recipe for staffordshire oatcakes which I am looking forward to him trying out! I'm still not getting any lighter grin.

scarecrow22 Sat 23-Feb-13 22:01:52

Chummy, I'm so so sorry to hear your news. You were becoming a popular fixture here smile. Hope you enjoy conception thread ladies - given many have come over to form out band am confident you will. Hope to see you again soon x

Knicky, MrsW and Chairman - fun you all so close. Is going to be a mini baby boom! Congrats on bags, routines (wassat?! Actually DD made her own in despair at my over-optimistic approach to time-keeping, as I call it). And house move <doffs cap in respect> I moved house 3 days before wedding and thought that was ambitious but you win.

chummy1 Sat 23-Feb-13 22:20:07

Thank you for your note on the thread.... brave face and on we go....: )
I hope that your pg goes wonderfully smile


ChairmanWow Sat 23-Feb-13 22:33:56

Oh god Scarecrow, it's not by choice believe me. We'd had an offer on another house which turned out to have subsidence. Gutted! We would have been moved weeks ago. I will def be on tea and Hobnob duty on Tues, as in drinking the former and eating all the latter grin.

Chummy so sorry to hear about your HCG. Fingers crossed you're back here very soon. There are so many success stories I hope it's made you feel more positive.

Knicky no more work. Woo hoo! How great does that feel? Hope you're getting lots of rest 'n' cake 'n' box sets. Thanks for your kind words re the move. It's all a bit crazy.

MissM vintage vinyl disco sounds ace. So jealous at you dancing. I've got PGP too and now baby is moving down it's hideous. Sounds like you're in the home straight ET-wise. Hang on in there x

So, (almost) due date chums! Who is going to be first I wonder. I was 12 days over with ma boy, but who knows this time. I've got bags packed and have also done his routine. The friend looking after him is great with kids but scatty. She'd probably still be playing with him at 9pm, or take him to the wrong nursery! But he loves her to bits so all good.

knickyknocks Sun 24-Feb-13 07:51:17

Yes, wonder who will be first from the forthcoming mini baby boom smile.....I was one day over with DD, but had a sweep last time and think that got things going.

As for PGP - yes to that too. To me it feels like knitting needles digging into my pelvis giving me sharp strong pains which are enough to make my eyes water! Suspect the same as chairman it's made worse because baby's head is nestling in my pelvis.

As for the routine, we're the same with our planned babysitter for DD. My MIL will probably ignore it, but at least I feel she has an idea of what DD does - even includes postcodes for nursery and her gymnastics class for sat nav purposes. Determined to keep DD's life as normal as possible. Who knows I may be in and out of hospital within 6 hours, but on the other hand I could be in a few days.

I was just thinking this morning I've reached the stage when you feel as if you've been pregnant forever! I was thinking about the MS I had, lying on a sun lounger in the garden, desperately trying not to puke, and not massively caring about the Olympics which were on at the time - I was only thinking about what I could possibly eat and may stay down. I really do think the first trimester is the worst bit, what with all the anxieties of hoping that everything sticks and abnormality checks come back ok. Thinking of all those ladies on the thread going through that right now. Thank god it does get better!!

scarecrow22 Sun 24-Feb-13 09:00:33

Maybe we should have a sweepstake on order of Knicky, MrsW and Chairman?!
First prize is choice of waiter/foot masseur in snug for a week smile

somewherebecomingrain Sun 24-Feb-13 10:01:57

When is chairman wow due? Sounds fun - I bet my special session with daniel Craig in his blue shorts that mrs w stays first as didn't she say something about needin to wear tight pants (perfectly logical when you think about it)

Kangaroo loved your depression anxiety calm aphorism - made me think.

Who started the box set chat? Good call! We're doing deadwood - about an american frontier town - extraordinary birth agonies of a society Ian mcshane so evil and corrupt but still sympathetic - amazing performance.

Also privately (ie away from dp) watching true blood season 4 and loving it's ridiculousness - not so sexy since Eric north man has a terrible haircut and is wearing really bad clothes. Nothing can match that episode where Billy's hand shoots out of the earth and grabs sookie's ankle in the graveyard then climbs naked out of the grave and gives her one.

Cough cough I've said a bit too much.

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