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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 13:13:32

Sparkly I went to FMC too...worth ringing to enquire, they were very sweet with me and mine was over New year plus awkward travel, etc... Talk to them, they were very sweet with me.

I just got the result from the blood test my PCT grudgingly gave me, yesterday. 1 in 15 chance of Downs. My age (45) My BMI (30), DH's age (48), all go against you in the one they use, apparently.

The Harmony test, less than 1 in 10,000 chance of trisomies 13,18, and 21. It was seriously worth the money and the train fares (and we are pretty poor). I am just ignoring the NHS one now....

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 13:16:41

sparkly If you move fast, you might get on at the FMC for their £180.00 for viability scan, Harmony, and Nuchal Scan rate. It has to be before 11 weeks and so many days for first, and 13 weeks and so many days for 2nd...

knickyknocks Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:48

sparkly just wonderful news thanks. Wow- no symptoms and the little one is just fine smile - I really hope that everything now works out especially with DH. I hope that seeing the picture of the little one today makes him feel more positive about it all.
badmissm that harmony test sounds amazing - so much more detailed than the NHS one. Very reassuring - as you say it was definitely worth that trek into town at new year.

DH will be home tonight and has already promised to treat me to a relaxing evening plus on Saturday to take me and DD out to a restaurant so someone else can do the cooking and washing up. Given our recent tiffs these offers from DH are very gratefully received smile

somewherebecomingrain Thu 07-Feb-13 14:27:16

sparkly fantastic news - so pleased for you.


eagleray Fri 08-Feb-13 14:05:20

Sparkly - such fantastic news!!

BadMissM - glad to hear the Harmony test worked out so well for you, especially after all the hassle you had to get there and back.

Somewhere - hurrah for moving into new home! Hope you are happily settled now.

Knicky - wow you are getting close to due date now! Glad to hear your DH is doing what he can to look after you - hope you got your nice relaxing eve last night.

Scarecrow - bless your DD - sounds like there won't be anything left for you to do! Any chance I could borrow her til your baby arrives??

MrsW - thanks for the info re things to help milk supply. I might ask the MW when she visits later about drug assistance as have no idea when/if my supply will be up to speed (and the volume of formula is ever increasing). I already have some Fenugreek - not my favourite tea, but needs must!

CycleCamper - belated congratulations re your job. Hope you are keeping well.

I have had another good night's sleep and managed to do a bit of tidying around the house while the baby sleeps. DP says he knows when I'm feeling well as I start going nuts about the mess around the house...

Going to try and leave the house this afternoon with the baby - plan to drive into town and visit a cafe for a short while. Feels quite scary, but really need to start doing this stuff as will be home alone after the weekend!

PS - after all that incessant cooking and talking about cakes before the birth, I am now off my food! Still eating, but just don't crave anything and find it a bit of a chore. Weight is dropping off nicely - 10kg so far but a looong way to go...

sparklysapphire Fri 08-Feb-13 15:50:53

thanks ladies. Eagle, sounds like you are feeling better, I hope your trip out was successful, and that the m/w can advise on your milk supply.

knicky did you have a lovely relaxing evening as promised? And the restaurant sound like a nice outing, I hope you enjoy it.

I went back to the doctors this morning with my scan results, and have been in touch with the m/w who's going to book me in on Tuesday. Because of my age, they do the scan in the Foetal Medicine unit rather than ordinary ultrasound as they have more detailed scanners there apparently. Although the Dr is concerned about getting the nuchal done in time, the m/w sounded confident that it can be done.
DH is not happy. He came home from work latish last night, we sat in silence for an hour and half and then he went to bed. As he has the problem, he should be the one talking about it, I thought. I very much hope things improve, but at the moment I think the only thing I can do is to just get on with it.

have a lovely weekend everyone.

scarecrow22 Fri 08-Feb-13 21:08:45

Eagle - what a treat to hear you sounding so much improved. You are doing amazingly in the circumstances. I am repeatedly humbled by what mummies will do for their LOs. Use the weekend to plan some help and support for next few weeks. It's so important. And in my experience people love to be asked to help. Beware if you don't we thread-mums will come calling with cake and mops winkwink

Sparkly - sorry about DH. Would you consider visiting Relate. Without wishing to diminish your situation they will almost certainly say you are not the first couple to have such experiences. Even suggesting it might prompt him to open up a bit, or the first session is very much a get-to-know-you, and that could be a catalyst or gentle beginning. Or else a letter? That's my five-yearly crisis point method and both so far have had a very welcome effect. Glad in meantime your maternity hospital sounds so good. One less thing to worry about.

Knicky, hope treats are helping. One week to go!!! Hurrah.

Rubbish week so won't bore you. DD had bad fever last night, hallucinating, and v floppy all morning but Calpol/baby Nurofen starting to work. Doc says throat infection and I have antibiotic prescription in my pocket in case gets worse. Poor lamb. Spent two years dreaming of her snuggling in bed instead of usual bouncy impatient self, then when it happened was all baleful and worrying. Anyway, hopefully on mend. She is a brave one.

Waves to all, and have lovely weekends xx

blueblackdye Sat 09-Feb-13 17:24:42

Just popping to say hello to every one.
BadMiss any news re hearing date ?

iclaudius Sat 09-Feb-13 22:10:46

hello! I have been lurking a while - i am 45 and have a few children - am due with this one in July and am hoping for an early section

have you all seen the directive about women over 40 being induced at 38 weeks?

I too had the harmony - costly at £500 for just test ( no scan) and feel a little 'weird' about the result but a friend who works in genetics recommended it to me and trusts it whole heartedly

I had a baby at 44 and was chilled - less so now

Sparky i too had NO SYMPTOMS at all ...... very odd and although nice it has been unnerving!

iclaudius Sat 09-Feb-13 22:11:38

sorry spark l y

BadMissM Sat 09-Feb-13 23:34:42

Waves to iclaudius! I know, The Harmony results feel odd, but having just had the alternatives, glad I did it now.

bbd Nope, nothing about the hearing date yet...

Spent most of today at the train station, as DD going down to grandparents and father doing fiasco of coming up on one train and down on next just so DH and I don't have to enter their house... But he missed the train and turned up hours late, having left message so garbled with my mother I thought he was on earlier train...

Having decided that as they don't talk to me on the phone (they only want to talk to DD), I decided that this was my chance to tell them in person, so I finally told my father that I'm pregnant. He then told me that I was a complete failure in life and a constant disappointment to him. Then huffed and puffed about 'what I was doing with my career', and how 'he had paid for my expensive education' (hahahahabloodyha). He told me I had ruined my career, and it was all my fault I was in a Tribunal, and I didn't 'try hard enough'.

Then he changed the subject, and didn't refer to it again for the next hour and a half until he got on the train. Cheers, Dad.

Spoke to DD when she got there...appparently he hasn't mentioned a word to my mother. I really wish I had a normal family....

cyclecamper Sun 10-Feb-13 12:00:05

BadMissM Nothing like the support of your family is there? <rollseyes>. Or for that matter a nice bit of victim-blaming! I hope you have a nicer day today.

Waves at iclaudius Hello!

I finally saw the midwife on Thursday (after some kind staff at the hospital had phoned her at home and explained that, despite her having cancelled the session, she had been booked in for 2 appointments! The communications at St Helier seem to be totally rubbish, but the staff are brilliant at dealing with the problemsconfused). Everything was fine and the advantage of the late start was that my husband made it for the whole thing. We heard the heartbeat which was nice. The midwife was lovely, but after 3 stabs (literally!) at taking blood, she got someone else to do it, so I now look like a heroin addict grin. Coincidentally there was a tour of the labour ward happening so we joined that (being the least pregnant by about 10 weeks!) which was great. There is a totally lovely, brand new, midwife led unit which is super with a pool and shower in each of the 3 rooms and low lighting etc. It was beautiful - a real incentive to do the best I can to look after myself and the baby so we can go in there! It is at the other end of the same corridor as the conventional labour ward, so if there is a problem you can be whizzed to all the machines! I picked up some leaflets on home birth to leave around to scare the stepsons though!wink. Actually, I was impressed that one of the first things she asked was whether I was interested in a home birth. It's a bit of a change of culture from when my first boss had hers (88 and 90) and had to fight tooth and nail to have a homebirth!

I had 2 and a half days temp work last week and it was totally exhausting. It was only one 16 month old, as wellconfused. I think I'm going to keep the temp work to a minimum, it's just too much. It did mean that I could pay a visit to JoJo Maman Bebe in Clapham Junction and buy some things in their sale - blouses for £5, big cardigans for £10 and a coat for £15! With the ebay purchases that should keep me going for a bit! With any luck, by the time I need nursing tops, they should be having their summer sale grin.

I've been researching classes in my area. The NCT classes that are nearest finish at 10pm on Thursdays, not very close to a train and it's 2 buses (or a fairly unpleasent bike ride up a hill) to get there. They are also £231 for a couse, a lot of which I probably know, so I'm going to spend my non-existant funds on yoga or pilates instead, which I think will be more helpful as well as cheaper.

Sorry about the rambling post!

iclaudius Sun 10-Feb-13 12:55:17

Cycle camper don't worry about nursing tops just double layer a nice vest with a t shirt - pull t shirt over boob - vest under and jobs a good un!!

somewherebecomingrain Sun 10-Feb-13 13:24:52

just a quickie to say i've gone v quiet as no 3g or internet in my new flat. should be back online soon.

Scarecrow sorry to hear about daughter's illness - not bothersome to hear about, v stressful, hope you getting rested.

hi iclaudius - you sound like an expert at 40+mothering! last post a good example!

cyclecamper lovely that you got your apt - all sounds good xxx

scarecrow22 Sun 10-Feb-13 14:24:50

Hello iClaudius. Lovely to have you in the team. You will double mummy wisdom and literary quota (with Somewhere wink) Please more good tips like feeding tops...

Cycle, glad the staff are good and how divine to hear heartbeat. Good staff worth a lot of machines, imo. Yoga was my favourite hour of week last time. Failed to find time this time but you have spurred me on. Esp as bits if me seem to be failing gradually and even maternity jeans are tight. Oops!

BadMiss - sorry your dad so negative. My mum v negative with sister on 3rd (and a bit 2nd) pregnancy. I understood why but also saw hurt it caused. In the end you have lovely DH, sweet DD and a LO on the way, so it sounds like it is their loss not enjoying some of those blessings. Hugs, though. Poss like you I am making a mental note of habits not to inflict on my DCs, though I guess I'll find other ways to exasperate them grin

Somewhere hope loving flat and DS settling in. Sparkly, hope you had time this weekend to talk to DP. Knicky hope you are resting lots. Eagle hope new feeding trials being sorted and DH still helping: your HVs etc making me cross as a bit or tender support is what is called for. Please please do not feel guilty about FFing though: all children I know mixed or formula fed are the most chilled kids I know and super healthy too, so a v food ad for it. I too wanted to BF an found it fine but really v open to whatever works for LO. The fact you are mixing it under circumstances is amazing and you deserve only praise, hugs and sweet tea. All on offer in the lounge when you ready to drop in...

Waves all x

scarecrow22 Sun 10-Feb-13 14:27:41

PS Dd bounced in 24 hours. Amazing little thing. Still I think not 100pc but you wdnt know if not her mummy. And I did push my luck with a missed nap and 2mi muddy walk yesterday. <negligent mummy emoticon> (Though we had a lot of fun too!)

graciegracie Sun 10-Feb-13 18:15:29

Hi everyone!!! I joined netsmum in the vain hope that i might find some 40+ mums!!
Such a relief! I already have a 9yr old daughter and unfortunately i had breast cancer when she was 18months. A double masctectomy, chemo and radiotherapy and five years later i was told i could try again to conceive. I am delighted to say after nearly a year and a half of trying i am 5 weeks pregnant!! Hurrah!!! Trouble is now i am getting nervous thinking i'm too old!!! AAAAHHH!!! I am in need of reassurance from some cool 40+ ladies!! Are you out there??!!!

BadMissM Sun 10-Feb-13 18:47:57

knicky Glad to hear that DH is making amends and treating you well!

Eagle Sounds like it is all going so much better! Am hoping I go off cazke after the birth, as at the moment am craving it and I can't have it!

DD was a mixture of FF and BF, and I just wasn't precious about it!

Sparkly Hope you have managed to get your DH to talk about it.. Sounds like you are being well taken care of and that they understand you want everything to be sorted quickly...

Scarecrow Oh, poor you with sick DD? How's she feeling? Is always worrying when the bouncy LOs get sick, even though you might have wished they were quieter!

Waves at bbd!

iclaudius Hadn't seen the directive about women over 40 being iduced at 38 my PCT are ignoring it....

cyclecamper My family? I don't know why I even bother to try and include them and to be nice....

Sounds great that the MW was thorough and you saw the labour ward...Your MW led unit sounds great.... I wish our local one was near a hospital....

Job sounds exhausting! Wish we had maternity wear shops near here...I have had to order most of mine on line, and can't try on, etc. Sounds like you got some real bargains!

I got lots of the NCT course (90%) for having a rubbish income, you can just ask them...

Waves to somewhere Hope everything going well in the new flat!

Scarecrow They are 50s throwback parents, determined only their way is the right one, and won't even talk to me. They prefer to talk to my ex and his mother...and DH's ex... and then wonder why they get skewed information. Have been mentally being a completely different parent than mine ever were to DD, and will carry it on for LO.

Glad to hear your DD bounced back! Los are so resilient sometimes!

Graciegracie That's amazing! What a great story you will have to tell your LO! We are a mixed bunch of 40+ mummies-to-be. I'm 45, with a DD of 14... I'm sure we can manage some reassurance! thanks

iclaudius Sun 10-Feb-13 20:33:58


show the health authority!!

iclaudius Sun 10-Feb-13 20:36:52

somewhere !!! I am full of useless tips ! If all goes well i'll have had three in my forties.... and the rest!!

bad miss M
sorry here is link royal college of gynaecologists

BadMissM Sun 10-Feb-13 22:17:10

Iclaudius Ooh, will do!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 11-Feb-13 08:21:22

God Iclaudius that's freaked me out a bit although it's
Clearly need to know stuff. Am having a c section in 39th week and want it as early as poss just to get pregnancy over with!

Hello Gracie. You and Iclaudius
Fab - stay with us xxx


somewherebecomingrain Mon 11-Feb-13 08:22:01

Talking of which (pg over with) Knicky is it 3 weeks away? Xxx

scarecrow22 Mon 11-Feb-13 10:11:51

Knicky - last week gringringringrin

scarecrow22 Mon 11-Feb-13 10:12:19

(Of work I mean)

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