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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

cyclecamper Tue 05-Feb-13 13:05:38

BadMissM That all sounds like a nightmare situation. I can't imagine living in the same area as my husband's ex - there are enough people in the country already who don't contact my husband anymore because we 'stopped her seeing the boys'. The fact that we collected the autistic boy from the police station after her partner called the police and the older lad had already been banned from her house by her partner doesn't, apparently, stop it being our fault that the boys don't want anything to do with her. I hope your DD is able to make some other, decent, friends. By the time I left school I only really had 2 friends, but they were 'proper' friends who I am still in contact with. Sometimes girls do grow up though, so maybe A will get a clue at some point. At least your box thing is working this morning (spot my technical understanding! - we don't actually have a tv so my comprehension of such things is sketchy at bestgrin)

knickyknocks Tue 05-Feb-13 15:14:35

badmissm what a horrible situation for you and your DD. Her so called friend sounds like absolute lowlife but understand your sadness at losing a friend too. There is one thing for sure though - having a baby always encourages you making new friends - just make sure you get involved with something like a baby group or maybe baby massage - do you have a surestart centre near you? They usually have lots of different groups so you might be able to find one which you like - otherwise my local library do a rhymetime which is free every week for under 3's - found with my DD it offered another opportunity to meet local mums.
somewhere I cannot believe your luck! Flipping heck.....that absolutely has to be it for now doesn't it?? Did you eventually get into your new pad? BTW the 40 plus thread for post natal times is in the parenting section in talk. I haven't ventured over there yet, waiting for D day first......
eagle lovely to hear from you. Be lovely to get an update if you get a chance.
cycle life sounds very frustrating for you and DP with the obstacles that need to be completed before making a big move to Yorkshire - do you have family up that way?
scarecrow wow - surrogacy? In many ways I feel like I wished when I was younger that I donated eggs as I know too many ladies who have been through the IVF process. I don't think I could have been a surrogate - not sure like you and your doubts as to whether I could have actually coped giving baby away at the end (but also TBH knowing what I know now about how flaming awful I am at this pregnancy business there is NO way I could have done it).
micheK are you still there? Did you do a test? We're here to provide virtual hand holding if needed.

AFM - am fine, a slightly ridiculous situation at work where there's been a major burst pipe which supplies us so we're being requested to conserve our water - errr...I'm 34 and a half weeks pregnant, there's no way that I can stop how many times an hour I need the loo at the moment......

Me and DH are better, he was in a far better mood once he'd slept, though it still makes me wonder how he'll deal with two, but I strongly suspect the bulk of the childcare will rest with me.

Must start thinking about packing my hospital bag soon - that makes it all feel terribly real (as if the morning sickness, SPD and enormous bump wasn't enough of a clue...grin) - blimey it's getting closer isn't it?!

eagleray Tue 05-Feb-13 16:14:49

Hi - back again, in a very narrow window of opportunity before next feeding cycle begins...

Baby Eagle is 8 days old now, and things are starting to get a little bit better. She had her tongue tie cut last friday, and is now feeding much better; however, my milk supply is still a bit shaky and so we are having to do lots of expressing and formula feeds as well, so it's all feeling a bit punishing. Also feel a bit like I have flu - just generally achey and tired and not capable of much!

DP is mainly helpful, but does lapse into the most horrendously selfish moments as well - he has just complained to me that he hasn't been able to go out on a bike ride so far today (he did one yesterday) so I had to point out to him that while there were 3 loads of washing needing to be done, plus tidying up and rubbish to put out, that that could be his fucking exercise. I have had 3 hours of sleep the last 2 nights and no opportunity whatsoever for daytime sleeping as the feeding takes forever.

I hope you are all doing ok - will try and catch up on the last couple of weeks of postings later this eve. x

somewherebecomingrain Tue 05-Feb-13 18:03:56

We've moved. So knackered.

Eagle amidst your stress you make me chortle.

Knicky SO pleased dp pulled self together.

Badmiss didn't realise such a long friendship. As such im sure they will patch it up. Whether they should is another question. Poor you.


scarecrow22 Tue 05-Feb-13 19:52:55

Somewhere - hurray! So pleased. Let yourself celebrate with a glass of grape juice? One of five a day?

Knicky - glad DP better. Mine now in a panicked flump. But he's a great dad (to my mind the best combo with me) so am trying to be supportive and wait it out. Funnily having problems last time meant DH had to hold DD for first hours, then do all holding, changing etc for 2 days or so (I fed lying down) - personally think it made us as a parenting couple as I am a bit very inclined to having, er, opinions about how things should be done. Even now I make a point of never changing her outfit when he dresses her (though this sometimes requires heroic restraint wink)

To make you laugh here are a couple of the worst DP comments friends have share recently. One DH told his wife her asthmas was worse for him than her "because I have to listen to you coughing". And my (lovely) BIL once admitted to my sister he felt she "basically should so the housework and childcare because that's a woman's role in the family". To his credit he was a bit embarrassed to admit it. There are no emoticons for such comments.

DD an now ring me evenings before bedtime (cue hushed endearments in corridor at work!) - v sweet but also painful. To ight she was being all mischievous and told me her "meow-meow" (her word for all cats) was called "woo-woo" (her noise and name for all dogs); doesn't really work written down, but I loved her little attempt at humour smilesmilesmile

Waves all

MrsWooster Tue 05-Feb-13 19:56:57

Hi Eagle, when my supply was shite, the doc gave me Domperidone, a travel sickness drug(!) which really helped lactaction and we carried on pretty much ok from then. Also tried fenugreek, which might have helped a bit but makes you smell of curry and maple syrup. Now I like both those things, but it's not a great perfume...

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 09:34:13

eagle ahhh...yes...those days of DP moaning that he hasn't had any 'me' time - yes, I'll have those coming to me too in a couple of months time, loved your response to your DP though. There were days in the very beginning with DD that me even having a shower and a hairwash was a bloody luxury. 3 hours in 2 nights? That's such hard work, it does get better - but in the meantime feel free to rant.....motherhood for newborns can be one of the toughest jobs in the world. And poor you about not feeling well - keep an eye on that - it may be the startings of mastitis - that can make you feel incredibly rough. Hugs and sympathy
scarecrow got to say you sound like me when it comes to your DP - I succombed and did change what DD was wearing on a couple of occasions when DH had dressed her (on more than one occasion he put tights on DD with no skirt/shorts?? WTF? He thought they were leggings.....) I wasn't able to restrain myself at the time and changed her and we ended up having a row. Now, I mostly restrain my opinions grin.
Oh the phone calls are so sweet with DD - with our DD being 3 and a bit I can have conversations with her and it really makes my heart just melt, but understand that you just pine to be with them.
somewhere you've moved? Hurrah! Hope you have lots of help unpacking boxes. Must be lovely to be on the other side of the move now though.

scarecrow22 Wed 06-Feb-13 10:23:18

DH usually tucks DD's trousers into her socks. Perhaps because he cycles everywhere. But, really???? It's funny how quickly they untuck when he leaves the room. Occasionally I have very accidentally on purpose spilt something over a very offending item, but honestly only a couple of times. Or so....

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 11:56:53

grin grin grin scarecrow ooh never underestimate a woman and her ingenious solutions.....I hadn't even thought about 'spills'......have a feeling that one will be played out in the knickyknocks household soon....grin (seriously tucking trousers into socks?? Definitely the cycling thing surely?! Either way, this has made me smile that it's not only my DH with the fashion faux pas....)

sparklysapphire Wed 06-Feb-13 14:02:08

Hi everyone,

I've just been catching up, it sounds like everyone's been having a hard time.

Eagleray, glad things are getting a little easier, I hope it continues, it's such hard work with a newborn, though completely worth it. Like knicky says, the fluey feelings could be mastitis, it makes you feel really unwell, but can be sorted with antibiotics. I hope it's not though.

Somewhere, the move sounds drawn out and traumatic, but glad you're finally in, and can get some else to deal with the boxes smile.

MissM, what a horrible situation with your DDs phone and her friend (and yours). Maybe at least they'll be able to sort it out eventually, if they've been friends for such a long time?

Knicky you sound heroic for perservering with work, I know you're counting the days, I hope they fly by.

grin at OH's dressing small DCs. When DH is in charge of sorting out clothes for DD, I never change her but do occasionally query the unusual colour combinations, to which he responds he has perfect colour vision. He mainly dresses in black & white so no problems with clashing there!

DH still not talking about the pregnancy, I do wonder if, as someone else says, we, and therefore our OHs are a bit older and therefore are more reluctant to give up their freedoms/me-time. Though he was only 35 when DD was born so not that ancient to become a dad.
However, he has offered to come to the EPU with me tomorrow. After weeks of trying, I finally got the doctors this morning. I had a bit of spotting a couple of nights ago, and that, together with the fact I'm 11 weeks, means I at least get a scan. She also thinks I'm a bit small for my dates, so expecting bad news tomorrow, but up till now I haven't let myself think that I might be actually having a baby as I'm unconvinced that there's one there.

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 15:15:07

sparkly I really hope you're wrong over your expectation of bad news and that the scan offers reassurance that things are OK - very pleased to see that DH is going to the scan even though he's still not speaking about the pregnancy. Tomorrow you'll need him to be there either way and it's right he should be there too. Much love and I'll be thinking of you.

I've just had a moment at my desk where I thought I was going to howl into tears sad. I was all prepared for DH to be working all day this Sunday and Monday, and had mentally started making plans in my head for both those dates. I've just spoken to him and he's been offered tickets to the football on Saturday with a drink beforehand and he's asked 'permission' to go. I found myself agreeing when he said he very rarely does stuff like this when all I wanted to say was 'I'm f**king 35 weeks pregnant, working a full week and now this weekend have to look after DD on my own for 3 whole it's flaming not alright to go.......' Arse. Doesn't he get how hard it is at this stage?? angry fuming and feeling very teary.

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 16:01:13

35 minutes later and it's sorted. I had was just in the process of texting his mum to see if I could pop over and see her on Saturday (DD loves it at her Nanny's house....) when he rang back to see if I was OK. Read out my text which I was preparing for his mum which said 'DH is off to the football on Saturday, and working all day Sunday and Monday....suddenly the weekend feels very long'. Promptly burst into tears, and he just said quietly that he'd been a thoughtless a***hole, and he would cancel the tickets to the football match.

Relieved it's sorted. I think he is just starting to get how tough things are for us pregnant ladies....relieved he's changed his mind (though my hormones won't let me get away for not feeling some guilt about him having to miss his favourite team playing.....bloody pregnancy hormones.....) So sorry for the Eastender style last two posts. I think that's enough from the Knickyknocks household now....xx

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 17:42:06

cyclecamper It sucks living in the same town as DH's ex... she's everywhere I could possibly want to go, as it's a small town (she drives and I don't), and she does a lot of it on purpose...

It's really because of DD's school, and DH's job and him being able to dee his DCs

Knicky Will have to try and get out and meet some new people...but tbh this town is really chavvy different to places I'm used to, and DH's ex usually makes sure she meets anyone I might like before I do... We were once friends, so she knows what I like and what I might like...

Eagle Lovely to hear you're doing better!

(back in a bit)

somewherebecomingrain Wed 06-Feb-13 18:02:58

Knicky awww a happy ending. I like it when men are sweet. As for being like eastenders bring it on - as long as its not me I think I've had my share for a while! I love a good gasp aloud 'how low can they (men) stoop in terms of not understanding pregnancy' all the more for a happy ending.

Sparkly I so hope it's good news. Crossing fingers - let us know. Good that dp getting involved a bit.

Badmiss so tough being stuck. Trying to think what u can do.

Eagle hope you ok - I remember how little my dp understood it is normal.. Mine made me do all the housework and night feeds and stay up late watching telly with him. He made me much more strung out than I would have been otherwise looking back. I was so bowled over I couldn't advocate or put my foot down.

AFM I'm unpacking, purging (not literally just sending stuff to the dump) and thank god for supplements id be a zombie right now. A lot of pain/strain round back and crotch. But otherwise reasonably ok. Cooking first dinner in new place - roast chicken new potatoes broccoli and bisto, one of my late pg cravings.

Hugs to all


scarecrow22 Wed 06-Feb-13 18:18:30

This morning I thought there can be nothing better in this world than holding your 2-year-old's hand while she skips along full if life.
Tonight I'm heading home for first bedtime cuddle in 4 days.
Perfect day?!

More worryingly DD drawing up long list of things she will do with baby...bath it, push it in buggy, and today's addition is taking it to CM with her shock
Though it would make for a v relaxed mat leave wink

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 18:34:00

(Part 2, after dinner!)

somewhere So glad you've actually moved! Think DD might patch it up with the older sister, but probably not A. Gone a step too far this time I think...

scarecrow Know what you mean about clothes...exH used to dress DD in the strangest mixture of clothes...I used to get up early, dress her and put her back to bed dressed to avoid him having the choice after the creche director 'spoke to me' aboout his unusual choices such as wellies in July and Sandals and shorts in January....

My DH lovely and doesn't think women should do all the work (has just cooked me tea to prove it!). DD sounds adorable smile

Mrs W Ooh, does Domperidone do that? (I was on it before pg for nausea caused by other meds...)

Fenugreek...great perfume idea :-)

knicky eagle Ex H was so bad I literally had to take DD in bathroom with me in chair, or have baths at midnight.... He seemed to think he had nothing to do....

This is why he's in France and I now have someone much nicer!

scarecrow DH used to also put on things that were getting too small with things far too big that fell off.... It was the 'gifts' from MIL that sometimes met unfortunate accidents...!

sparkly DD has moved from upset to really cross, think the only way she might consider it now is if phone turned up unharmed with won't

Hope everything goes brilliantly at the EPU may just have a small baby for now....fingers and toes crossed xxx

Maybe this will all make this a bit more real for DH as well...

knicky Can understand the teariness... many hugs xxx Sometimes just difficult to explain how much you need them when you're not used to doing so as well. But glad it has all sorted itself out now xxx

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 18:35:38

somewhere Have alovely dinner in the new place!

eagleray Wed 06-Feb-13 20:18:32

Feeble update from me - got infection so in bed with antibiotics trying to rest. DP being great - bringing me food on tray, alternated with visits from baby for her feeds. Just wish I could sleep on demand! It is really hard, even when v tired

sparkly good luck with scan

Waves to everyone else - miss you all and hope to be conversing soon

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 20:55:32

Eagle Glad to hear you are being looked after xxx

sparklysapphire Wed 06-Feb-13 23:47:43

Eagle, I'm amazed you managed to update with an infection on top of everything else, lovely that your DP is looking after you so well. Thank you and everyone else for your good wishes for tomorrow. Even though I've felt all along that this pregnancy probably isn't viable, to have it confirmed would be devastating, as there'll be no more TTC after this. I so hope I'm wrong. I'll let you know.

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 11:51:11

sparkly Never give up. Hope everything goes brilliantly for you xxxx

sparklysapphire Thu 07-Feb-13 12:34:44

I've just got back from the EPU, and seen my baby wriggling about on the scan! He/she is the right size for my dates, so my lack of symptoms meant nothing. I felt so rotten (nauseous the whole time, but not sick) til about 11 weeks with DD, I suppose I've just been lucky. I still need to get through screening for Down's though, I really hope it's all fine as that's really a decision I don't want to have to make.
Thank you for your kind wishes, it means a lot.

Eagle, I hope you're feeling a bit better and the antibiotics are doing their job.

scarecrow22 Thu 07-Feb-13 12:56:22

Sparkly. Wonderful happy lovely news. Hope you can enjoy it. Several on this thread (me included) had much more accurate/sensitive test at Feotal Medicine Centre in London for Downs etc. v reassuring after my initial result a but close for comfort. Worth considering if need arises.
For now, hurrah (and you lucky so and so no symptoms!!)

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 12:57:13

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I am so happy for you, Sparkly! I was sick with DD the whole time, but this time, nauseous but not actually sick.

Glad to hear everything is fine. What Downs testing does your PCT do? NT and bloods? Mine only did bloods, which was a bit useless. Glad I went for Harmony Test now....

sparklysapphire Thu 07-Feb-13 13:04:16

Thank you scarecrow & MissM
I know my PCT does NT, presumably bloods as well, but I'm not sure. I have read about the Harmony test on this and other threads, but not sure if we can afford it. Is it worth phoning the Foetal Medicine Centre to enquire, I'm not sure if I may have left it too late for NHS screening?

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