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Hyperemesis Support

(992 Posts)
LucindaE Wed 09-Jan-13 18:32:37

We need a new thread.

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

I used to include extracts from MOH's wonderful website
but I think that makes this link less visible so am merely putting the link. The information on this site is invaluable.

I would like to thank MOH MOP Ovaltine Caramellokoalalover (I think she's changed her nickname) Fluffy, Horsey Kali and Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.

hotcrosbum Fri 22-Mar-13 18:01:50

That's what I asked him yesterday, said he'd never let an illness stop him. This from a man who lay in bed for a week and didn't move a limb because of a sore throat.....

He'll be in a strop all night saying he'd bored if we don't go. Then he'll pick some stupid thing to get upset over, sulk. It's not worth it.

This baby was planned, I told him exactly what I went through with ds, he promised he wouldn't be like my ex and would look after me. He want's to go to wagamama of all places. I am so angry.

He keeps trying to force me to eat, says I don't care about the baby and it's nutrition if I don't. He's also dead against any medication, he works with special needs and severely disabled children, says he doesn't want to take the risk.

I am going to email the midwife tonight, ask her to have a word about sickness tomorrow. I am so miserable.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 22-Mar-13 18:15:04

goodness, I am sorry he is so disbelieving of you. How horrible to go through this. Can you print off some stuff for him? Get him to read through this thread? Explain that this can be life threatening condition in third world countries without access to medication and drips?

You need to remember that YOU are in charge of your body and your medication. How dare he go back on what he promised angry How dare he say that you don't care about the baby? You are going through all of this FOR the baby. What is he suffering - not being able to go out for a meal? I am cross for you.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 22-Mar-13 18:16:22

Are you sure that your midwife is on board with all of this? It would be awful to get an unsympathetic response from her in your situation.

hotcrosbum Fri 22-Mar-13 19:56:04

I hope she will be. Tomorrow is the first visit, not met her before. Back now, it was mercifully quiet so we were quick. I had plain noodles, but spent most of the time in the loo. feel like death now, happy to be back in bed.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 22-Mar-13 20:04:24

glad you are resting now

Tallyra Fri 22-Mar-13 20:47:43

I agree completely with Humphrey. It is your body and your life that is being ripped to pieces. I'm sure dh gets to go to work and see his mates and generally carry on his life as normal. Show him the PSS website if you can. Find articles written by Kirstie Allsopp and Peaches Geldof in particular that describe how life threatening it can become without medication. the medicine is tried and tested. it's not like thalidomide used to be - thousands of women take these tablets for their entire pregnancy and have no problems. thalidomide caused problems after just 1 tablet in some cases. he is being biassed and selfish and careless of not only his wife but the mother of his future child. I am so angry for you right now!!!!!!

Pollaidh Fri 22-Mar-13 21:46:09

I do sympathise. I think it is hard for men to understand. Even my generally wonderful husband has his moments (like on hearing the Kate Middleton announcement saying 'how pathetic having to go to hospital for morning sickness' - I pointed out that it was actually HG and he might remember me being seriously ill with it only 2 years ago!!). He also once complained because I asked him not to cook sausages again... I hadn't eaten anything but bread for weeks. I think pointing him to on-line stuff is sensible.

I've been signed off for at least 2 weeks more. Feel terrible about work.

hotcrosbum Sat 23-Mar-13 09:09:27

Thanks, got the midwife coming over for the first time today. I emailed her last night to ask if she could mention the sickness etc. She replied of course, she'd say something......then mentioned she'd tell me the remedies to try - herbal teas, ginger, dry toast AARRRGGGHHHH! I told dh, he wants me to try everything, says I should listen to the professionals.

Fucks sake, tried everything the first time round, herbal tea makes me vomit when I'm not pregnant, it tastes like the devils wee. None of the stupid remedies do anything, as I am sure you all know.

Feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall.

DH gone out to get cat food in a huff because apparently, he's fed up of me thinking I know better than the professionals.

LucindaE Sat 23-Mar-13 10:27:05

Hotcrossbum Really sorry about midwife reinforcing DH's lack of understanding . If you get on to Pregnancy Sickness Support which is a volunteer organisation with expert doctors, midwives, etc who understand Hyperemesis, on 0247 638 2020 someone should soon get back to you who will explain to DH about how serious this sort of sickness is, and not to be combated with the normal remedies (why would anyone find ginger useful, particularly as often as not with awful heartburn as well?) I am surprised that a trained midwife doesn't know that with Hyperemesis, the vomiting is uncontrollable, this 'you must eat' stuff makes no sense, as we all know on here. Have you - cluck cluck, got those kesosticks? Surely, there is the point of your going out to dinner if you can't keep food down.
Poll Sorry- getting confused here - was it you who said you are guilty about work? You shouldn't be, you need to rest, it's like being hit by a truck.
I was going away on Sunday,but as things are, with people told not to travel, I don't think I will be after all unless there's a thaw today. I hope nobody on here is trying to travel - the last thing you need is to get stuck somwhere!

nannyl Sat 23-Mar-13 14:12:58

Im just touching base as havent been on here for several weeks.

I really hope those of you suffering get a bit of an ease up soon.

hotcross bun sorry to hear your DH is being like he is..... its maddening that its such a misunderstood condition that so many people think you are just not trying or similar and dont understand.

Im 27 weeks now, and only vomit once a day, and have cut my tablets down to 2 a day which i never managed with my last pregnancy.

For me second time round has been (marginally) easier and (slightly) less severe, but i still have no desire to have HG again so our plans for 4 children have changed to 2..... for now

fl0b0t Sun 24-Mar-13 15:00:08

Hi all
I'm another ferrociously angry at hotcross's "DH"- how can anyone be so uncaring? sad Absolutely not to gloat but I'm so grateful of how bloody amazing my husband has been, I couldn't have done half of this without him.

Things going ok here- on the whole feeling a little brighter, but still having some awful moments. Worst is afternoons so I find work really hard. When I'm in the office someone always books a meeting in for 2pm which is my ultimate slump time...... In bed with a hot water bottle now after a short bike ride (accompanying husband on a run) and doing 20 mins of gardening. Feeling almost human, just a very tired, nauseous human...

Hope you've all found the snow (if you have it) a great excuse to stay in and sleep xx

Lotta1234 Sun 24-Mar-13 16:01:34

Ladies, thought you might want to voice support for Hotcross here

I'm back in bed with severe nausea. Desperate to get back to work but looks like I'll be seeing the dr on Monday.

nannyl Sun 24-Mar-13 18:44:20

hotcross buns please dont worry about using this thread to moan....

we have all (mostly) been where you are and used this thread to moan.... this it what this thread is for. (im on this thread for the second time now.... you will only get sympathy and support from us)

sending some gentle pats.

wavesandsmiles Sun 24-Mar-13 21:22:10

Sorry I've been quiet a few days, real life getting a bit difficult. Hot cross I'll look at your thread in a few minutes. I have/had a Terribly unsympathetic husband who is actually moving out tomorrow sad
He still maintains I'm not really ill, just being sick. This is after 7 admissions and now on a treatment regime of daily fluids and IV anti emetics up the hospital. My poor DCs had to spend all friday afternoon up there with me, and much of today as well. Cannula resiting is increasingly painful as my veins are weak and tired.

The only respite I get from vomiting is for a few hours after the IV anti emetics. So I'm on IV ranitidine now too. I'm nearly 22 weeks and absolutely everything about this pregnancy feels awful, not least the way stbxh has treated me and the fact he's leaving, although weirdly I think it will be easier for me to cope with him not being around at all, than him being round an acting like an unsympathetic twunt all the time.

nannyl Sun 24-Mar-13 21:36:10

I am so sorry to read that wavesandsmiles.

Not sure what else to say, other than its just proof that HG is not widely enough understood by general public, who have no idea how debilitating it is.

I hope you improve very soox

HumphreyCobbler Sun 24-Mar-13 21:48:23

I am so sorry to read this waves. What is it with some people, that they can look at someone so ill, so sick, with constant hospitalisations and accuse them of 'not really being ill'? It is like they have something missing sad. I bet you are right, it will be easier without him.

PrincessRichards Mon 25-Mar-13 07:46:51

Sorry to hear this Waves. My ex was the same during my first pregnancy, told everyone I was making myself sick etc, hence him being an ex. It's hard work to get through but it sounds like your doing it all by yourself anyway so when he's gone at least you may be able to get through this without the constant battles.

It's very sad that HG is so misunderstood, my mother in law is begging me to have more children to which I've said no after this experience, her view is its just being sick it won't kill you. To which I responded actually it can kill people if its not treated. I hate the fact that people are so small minded, even if it doesn't get that bad who in their right mind wants to sit with their head down a loo every day for weeks on end.

There's my moan for today, wishing you all a sick free day ladies.

littleducks Mon 25-Mar-13 09:02:13

Hi all, thank you for all the support in my time of need. I am feeling much better now, ate a roast dinner yesterday shock which is my craving for this prenancy, have previously been avocadoes (dd) and semi frozen creme eggs (ds).

My gp was actually really good when I got to see him, hospital when reasonable but slow to act. Then went all into panic mode when I got really bad and it seemed to be affecting my heart/blood pressure. I think I went into shock almost, I was shaking when the porter took me up to the ward.

I agree that HG seems to be one of those things that HCPs either deal with well or just totally dont understand, there is no middle ground almost.

hotcross My dh was abroad for the section of my first pregnancy when I was hospitalised. I dont think he really understood until this time round what I am going through (middle pregnancy was much easier). I think you can eventually understand the physical problem but it is really hard to imagine the emotional/psychological issues that it causes.

waves- sorry to hear about your dh, must be tough but I agree it might be easier without him if h is stressing you out. Oh and the cannula problems. I hate cannulas! I realise they are probably the reason I am still alive but the blasted things are hideous, I have scars from my first pregnancy. I'm bruised all over my left arm after only two admissons last week, you must be so sore. Can they leav them in one position a bit longer if you are going in daily

nannyl- didnt realise you were an HG sufferer too, glad you are at a good bit now and hope t continues that way unil the birth.

Lotta1234 Mon 25-Mar-13 09:28:04

Ladies, I'm feeling so low. I need to get back to work but so nauseous and exhausted. littleducks I'm having one of those emotional, can't cope, days.

littleducks Mon 25-Mar-13 09:41:14

Lotta- I would just write off today. Take a deep breath, say 'today is crap' but tomorrow will be better and go back to bed and watch boxsets or something else that involves zero effort but is somewhat distracting.When are you signed off until/hoping to go back?

I think the days that I have really struggled to make it work and forced myself to do things in hindsight I clearly was not ready for ended up far worse than the days I just accepted it and rested. For instanceon Friday I took ds to football and dd to rainbows after school as it was the last of both before Easter holidays and I felt guilty about being in hospital. I cant drive atm so it was walking and cabs. I then managed to get myself back in hospital Fri night/Sat morning and dd had to run and get dh after I passed out on the kitchen floor trying to make myself some breakfast Sunday morning.....I feel a hell of alot guiltier now!

nannyl Mon 25-Mar-13 10:20:04

Lotta can you get your Dr to sign you off? I was signed off from 6w with last pregnancy until the end.

i hope everyone has an ok day today....

im making the most of this middle ok-er bit, but will be 28 weeks this weekend, and last time it got worse again in 3rd trimester

wavesandsmiles Mon 25-Mar-13 10:49:43

Thanks for the support everyone, re the cannulas, they are being left in for 96 hours, so the one I had yesterday will stay in til after my fluids Thursday morning. Makes washing tricky and last night my DCs had to help me wash my hair blush but it is much much better than daily changes!

I do think people very often lack understanding of the seriousness of HG. It is a life threatening condition and it is only thanks to treatments available that we are ok ish.

BelleEtLaBaby Mon 25-Mar-13 11:02:33

Hi all. Sorry I kind of disappeared - had a really, truly awful two weeks where I wasn't even getting out of bed. Then (exactly as with ds) I woke up on tues at nearly 16 weeks and felt fine. Totally vanished. It's very weird. I had a bad day on Sat but I've been shopping, for lunch, and to the theatre! I've also popped into work but I'm off for 3 weeks now as its extended Easter at my college - 3 weeks instead of 2. Yay!

Just wanted to come back in case my story gives anyone some hope. Both times now for me it has just disappeared one day - although I still vomited on and off with ds until he was born, and didn't get my appetite back until he was a day old - this time has not been as bad and I do believe this is because I rested, took meds early (before even vomiting) and went off work at the first sign of not being able to cope. It's possible.

Haven't read the whole thread but I hope old faces are coping and (weirdly) welcome the new faces. Sorry to see you here but it's a great thread. If Mother Hen starts clicking at you - listen!

I also have an unopened pack of kesostix which I am happy to post to anyone who might need them xx

fl0b0t Mon 25-Mar-13 14:04:04

Belle that's great to hear, phew! I'm 15 weeks tomorrow so that gives me some hope!
hotcross you should definitely chat to Waves as she's been through it all too and I'm sure has some good advice!

I've had a good (very quiet) weekend, and been starving for about a week now. Cannot get enough food into my body. Was sick at work for the first time today (I'd been eating solidly all morning) and now feeling pretty sorry for myself. OVerall I am feeling a bit better, but the tiredness makes it so much worse, I'm just learning when to stop. It's really hard :-S

Lotta1234 Mon 25-Mar-13 18:02:29

Belle that's really encouraging. Thanks for sharing. And congrats on surviving.

nannyl and littleducks thanks for the sensible suggestions. Have slept a lot today and thrown up a bit and feeling better for it. Have also asked dr to phone so we can talk sick leave.

Waves lovely image of your children helping you wash your hair. Very sweet of them. And I cannot believe stbxh still cannot comprehend how ill you are. Ridiculous. Good for you for being so strong about it.

This thread is such a lifesaver. Thanks all.

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