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Help!! First baby

(8 Posts)
Emzyxoxoxo Mon 07-Jan-13 01:08:52

Hi there can anyone please help me. I am a lesbian 21 year old woman. Me and my partner wanted to grow our family, through 8 months of trying with a sperm donor I finally got a positive result 2 days ago. Ive done nothing but cry and as horrible as it sounds i don't want this. Is this normal? I feel ashamed and disgusted. I don't understand why my feelings have changed towards having a baby since i found out I'm pregnant. Any help would be appreciated.


Nordicmom Mon 07-Jan-13 01:16:50

Hi! Mixed emotions are completely normal when you first find out that you are pregnant even when trying smile! I've got two and the second one was a long journey to say the least . I'd say almost everyone would have doubts and fears . It's a big thing . I hope you can come to terms with the situation and things work out for you. Having a child is the most wonderful experience I've ever had in life. There are no words really to describe it . Good luck .

Emzyxoxoxo Mon 07-Jan-13 01:23:59

Thanks i don't know how far i am yet around 6 weeks my body's so run down! I have constant diahreeah and i cant sleep is there anything at all i am allowed to take for it.

Cheffie100 Mon 07-Jan-13 01:26:06

You need to see your gp and drink plenty of fluids- good luck

Emzyxoxoxo Mon 07-Jan-13 01:27:07

Yeah have an appointment on the 14th thank you

HJBeans Mon 07-Jan-13 07:42:00

If it's any consolation, I felt just the same way when I first got pregnant. Even though we were trying, I just felt panicky and sad when I actually fell pregnant. My life with my partner, which I really enjoyed, would change massively in a way I couldn't predict and I wasn't the only controlling interest in my own body. I felt hopeless and also really dumb for having these feelings even though we'd been trying.

I ended up miscarrying that pregnancy and my next one and am now nearly 11 weeks into my third. While I can't tell you how lovely it all is after the birth, I can say that I didn't feel any of those negative feelings with the subsequent pregnancies. While I'm still a bit apprehensive about how life will change with a child, we kept trying because we'd like a family and the strongly negative feelings about sharing my body have entirely gone.

Hope you'll feel better as your pregnancy progresses. Remember you continue to have options about whether this is what you really want and see how you feel once the shock settles a bit.

utopian99 Mon 07-Jan-13 09:31:08

I think it's totally normal to panic a bit, plus you're experiencing a massive hormone surge. My dh and I were actively trying but when we got pregnant I still felt totally shocked and slightly resentful even that it hadn't taken longer so we'd have more baby free time together.

It took most of the pregnancy for me to mentally adapt but am currently typing this on my phone from under a small sleeping 10-day old and it's all wonderful! (albeit tempered by lack of sleep..)

JustBabyNMe Mon 07-Jan-13 11:04:02

Hello! I'm going to be a first time mum, i'm 23... i've always wanted a family from a young age and wanted to start young - but wanted til wait til the right time & partner blah blah...

Now i'm 23 and it just happened... i was on the depo injection when i fell pregnant and i am now 21 weeks. my partner has left me making it clear he wants nothing to do with either of us. I was sh1tting my self not becuase i would be alone because i had all my family around me for help and support but because i was pregnant...

even though that what i wanted i was petrified and i still am! I also think i'm indenial about it as i don't feel pregnant even after scans, baby kicking, buying clothes etc... it is a daunting time wether planned or not but don't forget your body is going through a million changes and is having a big shock! I think everyone else would agree its normal... like i said i'm 21 weeks and i'm still not over the shock of it yet!

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