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I can't 'talk' to my bump! Feel ridiculous!! Am I the only one?!

(75 Posts)
emeraldgirl1 Thu 03-Jan-13 10:40:42

Friends and family have asked if I am talking to my bump or playing music to it and seem very surprised when I say I'm not. A quick trawl on MN makes me think a lot of people ARE talking to their bumps and I'm suddenly feeling as though I'm doing something very wrong by not doing so.

I feel very attached indeed to the baby, and stroke my bump quite a bit when she kicks, but I just feel absolutely ludicrous trying to talk to her!! I haven't asked DH to talk to her, because I think he'd feel just as silly. He does feel the kicks though, and always asks how she is IYSWIM.

Haven't even begun to consider playing her music etc, which I have now learned other people are doing... oh, dear, am I already destined to be a bad mother???

I'm getting worried that I'm not doing enough.

upanddown83 Thu 03-Jan-13 13:27:21

I am 20 wks!

BlissfullyIgnorant Thu 03-Jan-13 13:32:35

Read aloud and sing while doing stuff. It's the only way of not feeling too stupid.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Thu 03-Jan-13 14:31:41

I don't talk to bump, I do stroke it though and feel immensely bonded with my lovely bump (I didn't have one with DD, she never sprouted a bump for some reason!)

DD is 9 and she talks through my belly button to him grin however she does a Dory from Nemo whale talk

Makes me howl laughing, entertains us and baby does react with kicks (poor boy, he has no idea he isn't coming into a normal, calm, family)

LimeLeafLizard Thu 03-Jan-13 14:31:48

I used to sing to my pfb when he was the bump - but only when I was alone as I was embarrassed.

I don't talk or sing to this bump - no. 4 because I am too busy yelling at creatively playing with my other 3 children.

xlatia Thu 03-Jan-13 14:39:25

do whatever feels right to you, i'm sure either is fine! but this just struck me as yet another thing where other people are trying to impose their views on parenting on you and make you feel bad (intentionally or not) and that even BEFORE the baby is born! angry
i never talked to bump no. 1 and have not plans doing it with bump no. 2 (16 wks currently).

showmethetoys Thu 03-Jan-13 14:55:31

The whole 'talking to your bump' thing is ridiculous, they can hear you talking to other people, and obviously dont know if you are directly talking to them. I am a teacher, so DS had no shortage of my voice throughout my pregnancy (and also me singing along to the radio a lot ). I agree with xlatia that this is just another thing that people can berate you for not doing, its nuts!

falalalalagirl Thu 03-Jan-13 14:56:47

I never talked to either of my bumps. I reckon they heard quite enough of me squawking on during the day (I am a teacher) so they were probably glad of some peace and quiet when I wasn't at work. I never sang or played music to them either, they had to listen to my choice of tunes in the car. DS talked to DD when she was in utero but mainly just to shout at her.

skratta Thu 03-Jan-13 15:30:50

I've never talked to my bumps ever.

I do talk to the dogs sometimes though...But I don't get how people can talk to their babies. Feel a connection- certainly, bond with the baby- yes. But talking just feels odd and very embarrassing. DH feels the same too.

Babies won't know who the conversation is aimed at, and won't understand what you're saying really, so, tbh, it doesn't matter. I don't put music on normally, but my DDs all did for DS because they thought it was fun, like DD1 who worked out that One Direction, Justin Bieber and Rihanna were DS' favourite singers! confused I had a tone death baby clearly!

aaaaagh Thu 03-Jan-13 15:55:26

I attached teach yourself foreign language tapes to my bump and played classical music constantly - they are now multi-lingual and can play Beethoven by ear. NOT! However we did go and see The Lion King on stage a few weeks before the DTDs were born and they did 'drum' inside me in time to the very loud African music on stage and now DTD2 is learning the just maybe....?

aaaaagh Thu 03-Jan-13 15:56:29

Oh sorry it's DTD1 - she'll never forgive me for the 'demotion' !

Itsjustmeanon Thu 03-Jan-13 16:05:20

I talk to my bump. Nobody told me too, just something I started doing if on my own, from about 7 months onwards.

CurlyKiwiControl Thu 03-Jan-13 16:18:36

err if you tend to talk at all I'm sure that's fine. baby doesn't know whether it's directed at them or not presumably. I think most of us talk at some point during 9 month.

ImperialBlether Thu 03-Jan-13 16:43:37

I always talked to my bumps and so did their dad. My daughter talked to my son when he was inside me, too. I thought that was normal!

Dogsmom Thu 03-Jan-13 16:51:27

I don't talk to mine very often, if she kicks I tend to give my belly a rub and say something like 'you ok in there?' but I don't read to her or anything.
My husband talks to her though sometimes, or sings, I think it makes him feel closer to her, neither of us get embarrassed but then we never feel awkward around each other in any situation.

One thing I DO do is rub her, I'm 31 weeks so can easily feel her with my hand and she always responds by wriggling or squirming so I know she feels me.

ChristmasKnackers Thu 03-Jan-13 16:54:51

I loved my bump, but never chatted to it, felt ridiculous. I spent a lot of time worrying about raising my voice though.... I'm a teacher and on occasion have to shout, I would worry that it would upset him or he would think I was horrid!

BuckyMummy Thu 03-Jan-13 16:57:36

I felt a bit daft talking to my tummy, so I used to read out loud to my DD when she was in there.

I also listen to music quite a lot anyway, and my DD seems to have the same tastes as I do!

Don't worry though, it isn't too late to start!

iamwhaticallpregnant Thu 03-Jan-13 17:00:55

Wouldnt say i talk 'to' him but I talk to myself a lot and my partner and I talk a lot to each other ( confident he will know my voice). We always say his name and funnily enough my partner talks to him more - he'll say bye to him when he goes to work or night or ask what he wants to eat and gives my stomach a little rub. Quite cute considering he is quite the macho aloof man!

iamwhaticallpregnant Thu 03-Jan-13 17:02:32

Oooh Christmasknackers - me too. I raised my voice A LOT to students / and my cats - and had to stop myself!

Doraemon Thu 03-Jan-13 17:04:21

I occasionally say 'come on baby' when heaving myself painfully off the sofa, but more to spur myself on than to communicate with unborn child.
She does kick a lot when I read bedtime stories to her big brothers though, and is probably very familiar with the Scooby Doo theme tune after daily exposure to it for the past 7 months. And DS2 likes to put his hands on my bump and sing to it to make her kick, He has invented a song called 'there's 5 people in our family', and if that doesn't work he sings 'wake up baby, wakey uppy baby, wake up baby WAKE UP'. When I was pregnant with him his big brother could barely talk but would shout 'OUT BABY' at my bump hmm.

Thumbwitch Thu 03-Jan-13 18:39:14

aaaaaagh - that made me smile and reminded me that while I was pg with DS1 I was still in a small function band - rehearsing with them was entertaining as I got more pg because DS1 would react to some songs more than others. Funk was his thing - I couldn't work out if he loved it or hated it but either way I got a good kicking when we did any funk numbers! (either banging to make me stop or grooving away inside, hard to tell) He's a good little dancer now so perhaps grooving on down, who knows... wink

TimeyWimeyStuff Thu 03-Jan-13 18:51:23

in my first pregnancy, i made a point of singing the same, gentle song a lot, especially in the car. i contuinued to sing the song to DD now and then after she was born. the older she got, the more it was used to soothe her to sleep in desperate. Now, at 2.5 she requests it when she's really tired or not well. And that really touches me. smile

Bue Thu 03-Jan-13 19:01:39

The idea that talking to your bump is now somehow required is just batshit crazy. The baby has no clue that you are talking TO it.

Hmm think I might go have a chat with my elbow now...

judefawley Thu 03-Jan-13 19:01:42

I might have said the odd 'ow, what are you doing in there?'

But talking to it, no.

We did enjoy making them jump though blush

BigBaubledBertha Thu 03-Jan-13 19:13:14

I talked to my bumps and sing as well. I like to think that they could tell that if I was stroking my bump and talking in a particular tone, it was direct at them. It is probably wishful thinking but I did it all the same. I didn't do it in public but it doesn't really feel ridiculous doing it in private - I don't get why it is ridiculous if you are alone. It isn't just a bump, it is a small person to me, just somebody I hadn't seen much!

I did have conversations with the babies in my head too and imagined that they could somehow 'hear' that which I recognise is really daft!blush

I wonder if the people who don't talk to their bumps are also the people who don't talk to small babies much? I know some people find that hard too but after jabbering away to a bump talking to a real live baby was a piece of cake.grin

However, we are all different and the vast majority of us are good enough mothers to our children (which imo is fine) so I wouldn't worry about it OP. Just do what comes naturally and all will be well. smile

tedmundo Thu 03-Jan-13 19:13:55

The cat lies on my bump in the evenings and purrs. Will the baby think it is a feline when it comes out?!

I spend my day talking / reading to / shouting at DS1 and DS2 .. I am going to assume the bump is hearing enough language already.

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