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Anyone else getting their excitement dampened?

(18 Posts)
Mrsb999 Thu 20-Dec-12 11:12:20

Starting to get fed up it now, when I respond 'excited!' to well meaning questions such as how are you feeling? The usual response is 'ill remind you of that when you are having no sleep'

Or

You won't be saying that when you are up to your eyes in shitty nappies

Or

Ha ha yes until the the baby won't stop crying

Or any variation of the above!

Yes I know it is going to be hard and probably the hardest thing I've ever done but is it so wrong to be excited about something that is going to be difficult?!

Grrrrrrrrrr

It's not just one person either, it's a variety of mums with older children who have been there done that, why not just nod and say 'ahhhh how lovely' whilst secrectly thinking of the above??

lookingfoxy Thu 20-Dec-12 11:18:05

You always get these comments, just smile and ignore.
Yes it can be tough at times but its also absolutely amazing.
Sleep baby sleeps, stuff the housework and enjoy your baby that is my only advice.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 20-Dec-12 11:19:57

Think its just part of being a Mum. You might as well learn to smile sweetly and ignore, because you'll probably be doing a lot of that will well when you receive well meaning advice once Lo arrives smile.

Congratulations on your pg and its lovely to hear that you are enjoying it smile

Dovetale Thu 20-Dec-12 11:56:28

Maybe they just want to tell you their horror story, so whatever you say their response will be the same?

I recon if you said "I'm not sleeping well because of this terrible heartburn" you'd still get "you think it's bad now, just you wait till the baby arrives" grin

LittlemissChristmas Thu 20-Dec-12 12:00:54

You are the opposite to me. When ever anyone asks how I feel I'm replying with terrified. Then all I get is the best bits maybe give that a try?

dontcarehow Thu 20-Dec-12 12:16:31

yeah i go with "terrified". it usually stops the doom mongers in their tracks. i especially hate the implication that you are completely clueless if you're excited. its usually just their way to point out how they know more about it than you do. sod them and their insecurities! be as excited as you like! i know i am

MyLastDuchess Thu 20-Dec-12 12:34:11

How rude they are!

I have a 3-week-old and a 2.4yo and I'm more excited now than I ever was! Yes there have been some really hard times but in general parenting really is lovely and there are more than enough lovely moments to make it all worthwhile.

I was really sick during my first pregnancy and didn't feel excited at all, I feel jealous of women who get excited because it is such a lovely thing to be able to look forward to!

itsaruddygame Thu 20-Dec-12 12:37:40

I am tired of the doom mongery too! Of course I am nervous and worried about how I will cope with sleep deprivation but I am overjoyed that I fell pregnant at my age (38) and so happy that I get to be a Mum.

I cannot get over the negative comments - if you say your tired you dont know what tired is .... if you did not sleep well - wait until the baby comes ... if you say your busy - you don't know what busy is ... etc etc.

Seriously even if it is so hard I feel barely able to cope I will still be smiling and saying I love it to certain people!!!!

Mrsb999 Thu 20-Dec-12 12:49:24

Thanks for all the replies.

yes I'm excited, even though I had Hyperemesis and was hospitalised and even though I'm still being sick at 26 weeks and yes I'm still excited even though I've got spd!

I just think I'm so lucky to be in this position and even when I have felt truly horrendous I can honestly say I've still always known that all the pain an suffering is going to worth it. Even if I'm surrounding by shitty nappies and a
Screaming baby after having no sleep!

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 20-Dec-12 12:49:57

Congratulations Duchess on your lovely new Lo thanks

ruddy I had my first at 36 and my second at 39. You may be tired when Lo arrives but it will be all worth it, there is nothing like those newborn snuggles smile.

Some of the things that helped us Coe were getting a milkman, so we always had milk and bread. Doing online grocery shopping, filling up the freezer with yummy meals ans going to sleep when lo did.

We also had a new baby party. When we sent around the birth announcement we invited everyone to come around on Sunday between 2 and 4 for drinks and nibbles. My mum and bf helped with serving drinks and cleaning up and we stopped a lot of visits and could just rest. Obviously close relatives had already met Lo.

Can also recommend going along to your local nct group before Lo arrives, that way you'll meet some local mums and mums to be who'll be able to give you some support and try reading Babycalming by Caroline Deacon. I really wish I'd read it before having dc1!

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 20-Dec-12 12:52:07

Xposted with you mrs, yes it will all be worth it smile

neontetra Thu 20-Dec-12 13:05:06

Oh, this really annoyed me when I was pregnant. And, although some people find caring for a baby difficult and draining, it isn't for everyone. My dd is 8 months now and I've hardly ever felt really stressed in that time, unless she's been poorly or on a nursing strike or something. It helps that I have a supportive dh and do very little housework! Also I tend not to impose routines on dd too much, prefering to let her find her own iyswim. This helps with stress levels, imho. Her sleep isn't perfect, but it's not crap either. Oh, and one thing which personally helped me stay less stressed has been breast feeding - I've found it great not to worry about sterlisers, mixing formula safely etc, and the breast is a wonderful pacifier!

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 20-Dec-12 13:12:45

Totally agree about not imposing routines, we didn't do that with ours and let them find their own way, which is probably why I like Babycalming so much.

In my experience those who follow baby gurus who advocate strict routines can suffer a lot of stress when baby won't comply and they have no idea why.

Have you noticed too that most of the books that advocate strict routines either aren't evidence based, or aren't written by someone who has actually had a baby or even both.

isambardo Thu 20-Dec-12 13:18:01

I don't know why people relish making these negative comments. I have a three week old baby (my first) and yes, I am knackered and suffering from baby brain, but it's so lovely and he is growing and changing already, I know this stage will be over before I know it. I have been peed/pood/puked on several times today and i'm still happy!

My one recommendation is fill up your freezer with tasty, easy to cook food to see you through the first few weeks.

worsestershiresauce Thu 20-Dec-12 14:48:31

It annoys me too. The same friends who have been on and on and ON at me for years about how I was missing out by choosing not to have kids (I'm a late convert) are now boring me rigid with comments on how sh*t my life will be when the baby arrives, how I'll never survive the birth and if I do my body will be so wrecked I'll wish I hadn't.... Yawn. I so don't care. Like you I'm excited, fully aware of the down sides, but happy. Pregnancy isn't proving to be the 24/7 horror story they have predicted so there is a chance that the birth and baby years won't be half as bad as they make out either.

isambardo - that is a good tip, and one I had every intention of carrying out. Unfortunately my freezer has just packed up, and the building work on the house has over run, so I will be bringing the baby home to a crash pad above the garage. Fun!

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 20-Dec-12 14:55:42

Pg doesn't ruin everyone's body or perhaps I'm just lucky, no stretch marks, was back in my jeans in a few weeks thanks to bfing and my tits are actually bigger!

And I'm sure your friends don't mean you literally won't survive it! If you are worried about the birth I'd read up on your pain relief pros and cons and just maybe find a relaxation class, I loved prenatal yoga when I was of with dc2.

Dogsmom Thu 20-Dec-12 17:01:27

It was a bit of a shock to me just how rude some people are but there seems little we can do about it, I'm so sick of people desperate to tell me their birth horror stories and people asking if she was planned!

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 21-Dec-12 20:51:12

Asking if it was planned is a bit tactless and if its any consolation I had 2 very positive birth experiences at our local birth centre smile

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