Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

Receiving of gifts

(14 Posts)
LittlemissChristmas Mon 10-Dec-12 01:34:25

A friend of my DHs has very kindly offered us a bouncer/rocker thing for our dc. She is keen to bring it round this week as she is having a clear out but also made it clear that it is to borrow. I'm only 13 weeks so not keen to have anything in the house yet but I don't want to offend by declining. So what should I do? Should I accept and take it straight to my MiLs to store for us?

NatashaBee Mon 10-Dec-12 01:48:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZuleikaD Mon 10-Dec-12 06:41:07

I'm sure your friend will understand if it gets puked on - it has been already I'm sure - plus you don't lend things and expect them back in perfect nick! I'd accept and get MIL to store it.

TwitchyTail Mon 10-Dec-12 07:35:31

I'm with NatashaBee - I'd decline a borrowed present like that, especially if I had to store it with someone else for a length of time (what if it's damaged with your MIL eg kept in a damp place, lost, etc)? Also, would your MIL mind being the storage unit?

worsestershiresauce Mon 10-Dec-12 07:50:58

The question is do you actually want the gift, or are you accepting to be polite? It's fine to say 'thank you but no thanks, we're ok' if you don't want it. I'm doing this. I don't have loads of space and I want the bare minimum. I've also said I don't want any baby things before mine arrives. People understand that not everyone is comfortable with having baby things in the house in advance. I haven't offended anyone, yet!

LittlemissChristmas Mon 10-Dec-12 08:06:41

Thank you everyone.
Yes I am accepting to be polite. She and I had a pretty big falling out beginning of year and I feel this is her way of showing an interest or trying to help be nice I didn't want to offend by saying no but I might mention that my mum or friend has bought one already?
I've had a look and they aren't expensive so I'd rather buy one that I can then use if we have dc2 or my sister can use if she has any. I just feel so mean and thought I would be grateful for any gifts or offers to borrow equipment but maybe not...

TinkyPeet Mon 10-Dec-12 10:17:45

As a rule I don't borrow baby things, you've still got a long way to go so just put a bit of money away each week and go shopping later on then you can pick your own colour/make/style of the things you want. Just tell your friend thanks but no thanks you'd rather chose your own. If she's offended, well then that will be her problem won't it! If she's a good friend she won't be offended. Then as you say you've already got things for future children. Buying again gets expensive when you have other children. After my first grew up a bit I stored all his baby things but everything got damaged and damp and went mouldy so I binned the lot and had to start again for dd, luckily most of her stuff is in MIL's loft and perfectly safe, so peitting I'm only carrying 1 (slightly convinced myself I'm gonna see two on the scan) I won't have to buy anything big smile

Wow, that was a long post! Sorry, hope you didn't get bored lol x

Dogsmom Mon 10-Dec-12 16:52:13

I personally wouldn't want to borrow anything in case it got damaged plus as you say they aren't expensive, we got our in the Asda baby event for £16, it's a vibrating, musical bouncer.

You could always tell her that you mentioned it to your MiL because you were going to ask her to store it for you and it turns out she was planning to buy you one as a gift.

Snowflakepie Mon 10-Dec-12 17:48:21

I would avoid borrowing things tbh, being given them is completely different.

Thank her for thinking of you, but say someone else has already agreed to buy for you, or if you have nowhere to store it just say so. Be nice about it and then if she gets offended, that's her business. In a few months you'll have more than enough to think about to worry about anyone else!

baublesandbaileys Mon 10-Dec-12 18:12:31

don't do it!

I did borrow some stuff with no1, was biggest ball ache on earth!
first we barely used it out of "the fear"
then the play mat got a bit of baby sick on it (as baby items do) and the owner wouldn't let us "risk" putting it in the washing machine yet had the biggest catbumface about the TINIEST spot of milk sick
then she took months and months to decide if she wanted it dropped back to her or passed on to someone else of her choice (miles away... to be delivered by us.. could have spent the petrol on buying the items new in the first place)

do not do it!!!!

TwitchyTail Mon 10-Dec-12 19:17:58

In light of your second post, I definitely wouldn't accept. I'd much rather buy my own things (new or second-hand) than borrow something and have to look after it.

I've turned down lots of offers from friends already - standard response is "thanks so much, that's really kind of you, but we're not getting anything for the baby until much nearer the time". No-one's asked why, but if they did, superstition or no storage space would be the reply. I don't think anyone's been offended!

rainand Mon 10-Dec-12 19:19:34

Don't borrow, especially if you can afford to buy your own second hand one.

mamij Mon 10-Dec-12 19:22:16

I never borrowed anything, but accepted lots of hand me downs, and bought a few items new. I didn't want the feeling of feeling bad for breaking/damaging/ruining items, and would have to offer a replacement.

Also, if you're planning on having another DC, would probably be better buying the items anyway.

She could still come over for a coffee and a chat though.

SledsImOn Mon 10-Dec-12 19:33:02

This is really hard, but having already said a polite 'yes, please' to something I don't really want - which would be given, not lent - I've had time to think and realised that it's fairly easy and polite to say, Oh, that is really kind but we already have one, or someone else has offered us one, etc.

I'm hoping the person who's lending us the thing has forgotten. I don't want to feel obliged to use it when I see them, which is every day - so anyway, yes, say something about it and don't accept it on a borrowed basis.

Whenever I've had things lent to me for maternity/babies, I've kept them in their bags and given them back exactly as they arrived - too scared to spill things on them.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: