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When did you tell the father that you were pregnant?

(40 Posts)
FoofFighter Sun 09-Dec-12 17:44:36

I found out I am pregnant again this morning. We lost a baby earlier this year, missed miscarriage, I'm scared but also thinking should I not tell OH just yet, let him have another couple of weeks of blissful ignorance and enjoy Xmas without stressing about another mc? No point in us both worrying?

Or is it hugely wrong to not tell the father right away?

What did you do in your pregnancies, and what would you do in my case?

weeblueberry Mon 10-Dec-12 12:17:55

I had to wait the (excruciating) 25 minutes before he got home from work. I'd only done the test because the pharmacist asked if I was pregnant and I sort of laughed at her and told her no. But it put the seed of doubt in my mind. Then when I got home I did test, assuming it would be negative. But was fairly conclusive. As were the 5 tests I did afterwards (and the one I made DP pee on to make sure the batch wasn't faulty...blush)

I can't imagine how he'd have felt if he'd thought I had gone through anything like that alone. You're a team. What happens to you with a pregnancy happens to both of you. Please do involve him. x

LittleBairn Mon 10-Dec-12 12:20:08

I waved a damp pee stick at him while he was trying to quickly scoff a take away before the plumber turned up.

strawberrypenguin Mon 10-Dec-12 12:20:10

Told my DH the day I found out. I took the test at work and told him that evening

strawberrypenguin Mon 10-Dec-12 12:21:11

wee grin at making DP pee on one that's brilliant!

ghoulelocks Mon 10-Dec-12 12:21:22

I was crying like a loon and sobbing my heart out so he wanted to know why... blush

I have since dealt with these emotions and and looking forward to another one. It was just very unexpected, unplanned and not what I thought I'd be doing having just secured a fancy job and tight finances on a new house.

FoofFighter Mon 10-Dec-12 12:38:02

Thanks all for your replies and congratulations, we talked last night smile I'm glad a couple of people here knew where I was coming from, maybe unless you have the previous history then it's harder to understand. Was starting to feel like I was being very mean when it's all about loving someone and not wanting them to be hurt.

Fingers crossed everything will be ok smile

Sheldonella Mon 10-Dec-12 15:18:59

Foof Just wanted to say congratulations smile I remember you from a ttc after mc thread earlier this year. So happy for you smile

FoofFighter Mon 10-Dec-12 17:04:09

thank you smile

wilderumpus Mon 10-Dec-12 18:36:32

congrats foof! we are all over on the antenatal board where we have a 'grads of the wine and shagging after mc' thread smile it would be ace if you came and joined us! Understand if you want to be private too tho.

glad you told your DH, early pg is no joke even if you don't mc. And FWIW I mc'ed three times in the end before making this one, and told DH we were pg each time. We looked after each other. Takes two eh?!

good luck!

RileyTheLittleMonster Mon 10-Dec-12 18:41:37

So sorry to hear about your lose, hand holding if needed!
I've lost 2 so far this year 23 and 6 weeks and pregnant again possibly miscarrying now.. All time i found out i told him for support and if anything happened we can go through it together. All 3 times i found out i stood in the bathroom crying with the pregnancy test in my hand, had to shout him in haha! Remember every pregnancy is different smile

RileyTheLittleMonster Mon 10-Dec-12 18:42:12

Oh and Congratulations grin

Mylittlepuds Mon 10-Dec-12 18:43:36

Congratulations! Immediately.

ZhenThereWereTwo Mon 10-Dec-12 18:45:51

Before I even took the test, and both times it was positive and I showed him straight away.

Better to share, then he will be able to support you.


FoofFighter Mon 10-Dec-12 19:36:44

oh goody wilde you too?!! [prances]

BraveLilBear Tue 11-Dec-12 14:44:21

Congratulations smile

First time, I waited a couple of hours and painted a rock I'd picked up on holiday (where we conceived) and wrote Baby (our surnames) and Made in Greece on the back.

I gave it to him and he didn't get it. At all. Sadly lost that one just over a week later.

But second time round, within 30 seconds of peeing. He was yelling goodbye and I shouted down 'hang on a minute' then staggered out of the bathroom, shaking, saying 'I'm pregnant again'. We had conceived three weeks after mc.

We established that we needed to be better at sharing our feelings after the previous experience - and he's been a total rock so far. Glad you were able to tell him.

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