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Please help pretty sure I am having miscarriage....

(42 Posts)
woose Sat 08-Dec-12 19:39:46

I really need some advice. According to my dates I should be 7 weeks pg on Tuesday. Then on Thursday just gone, I had a very small amount of blood hardly worth worrying about really, but I did. I phoned the midwife and she said come in tomorrow morning for an early scan. So yesterday I went and they said the sac was 4 weeks in size. Immediately I knew it must mean everything has stopped growing. I am certain amount my dates. My first day of last period was 24th October and we only DTD once in that month on 3rd November so must have conceived then. So I should definitely be nearly 7 weeks. Therefore I am expecting to mc at any point, however, nothing is happening. I have another scan on Friday, so se how things are going. Does anyone know how long it will be before I will start mc? What will happen if I don't. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Is there any chance it could all be okay, is it silly for me to have any hope?

sad sad

woose Wed 19-Dec-12 19:37:27

Boy I am so so sorry that this has happened to you. How awful. I was hoping for you that everything would be okay. It is so strange that you can feel so pregnant one minute and then for things to be completely different the next.

I know what you mean about feeling relieved about it being over. It helps to have answers, its not knowing what is going on that makes you so anxious and scared.

How are you feeling now?

Do you need to go back in at all?

Are you going to TTC again?

Once again sad sad

Thank you for all your support on here, it has been a help having people to talk to who are going through the same thing.

Yes, lets eat and drink loads over Crimbo and hope that 2013 will be a lot better. xxxx

BoyMeetsWorld Wed 19-Dec-12 10:25:57

Hi woose it's the end for me too. I'm just v relieved (If that's the right expression) that nothing had ever developed - even the yolk had been reabsorbed - so telling myself it was never really a baby. Let's hope 2013 is more positive for us both - & focus on eating whatever we like at Christmas with lots of hugs for our LO's xx

woose Mon 17-Dec-12 21:26:24

I was also really scared like you. Its odd because however, bad things seem there is always some hope that everything will be okay at the scan. I guess its human nature to have that hope deep down, so when it does turn out to be bad news that you knew would happen, it is still a shock and very upsetting. Are you convinced that it is over? Maybe things will be okay for you. Having read quite a few threads on here some people have had a lot of bleeding in early pregnancy and gone on to have healthy babies. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Have you had any clots or anything like that?

When they explained to me about surgery they said I may have to wait for a week, so because I was passing clots and it was a lot of blood and they had also told me the sac was very low down I said I would just wait and it happened the next day.

I know what you mean about Christmas, it is such a horrible thing to be going through just before, and everyone else around is all jolly.

I don't really know how I feel at the moment. I think I feel empty. I feel sad that I will never have a baby again. I want to talk to DH but I know now is not the time. I think I am worried that things will never be the same between us again.

I am just plodding on through the days at the moment, just going from one thing to the next, trying to be brave.

One thing that I have found difficult is that people at work are asking why i was off work and I am finding it difficult to lie. I am just saying I had a tummy problem but I am never ill really and I think a lot of people are suspicious.

BoyMeetsWorld Mon 17-Dec-12 18:21:19

Scared! Scan the day after tomorrow. I thought bleeding would increase by now but it just keeps stop-starting, so unfair that it takes so long. I'm hoping even though it's Christmas they'll be able to fit me in fast for the surgery - I don't want to wreck my DS's Christmas with this. DH still doesn't get it. Glad you're doing "ok" woose. Are you feeling ok about it (as best as you can)?x

woose Mon 17-Dec-12 17:01:36

Thank you PunkyPod, feeling okay today, the bleeding is a lot less now, I am definitely over the worst of it.

Boy How are you doing? Thinking of you xxx

PunkyPod Sat 15-Dec-12 20:56:01

So sorry to read this woose. I hope the pain eases and as you say you can look forward to christmas and your family. Thinking of you x

woose Sat 15-Dec-12 19:56:47

Hi there

Boy sorry to hear about the digital test. It certainly does not look like a good sign, but hang in there. When are you due to go in for the scan?

Friday was how I thought it would be really. I had the scan which showed that the pregnancy was not viable. A lot of it had already come out but not the sac yet, she said it was really low down in the uterus, so it wouldn't be long before it came out. Then the mw said I could either have a D and C or wait. I decided to wait and let nature do its thing because I was going through it already really, and I am scared of having a general anaesthetic.

Anyway, today everything came out, it was absolutely horrible. I really don't remember it being that grim before. I am so glad that it is over.

I do feel a lot better now. I feel ready to move on. I have had an awful week non stop crying and anxiousness and pain. Now I feel okay. I am going to try and get back to normal. I am focusing on the kids and Christmas.

I still feel really sad that I won't ever get another chance to have a baby. Not unless DH has a massive change of heart, which I know won't happen, especially after the events of the last few weeks.

I just feel tired, old, and a bit of a failure at the moment, hopefully that will pass.

Thank you foof Christelle boy and roxy for being so kind thanks thanks thanks thanks

FoofFighter Fri 14-Dec-12 18:46:08

Really sorry for both of you, be gentle with yourselves xx

BoyMeetsWorld Fri 14-Dec-12 16:00:30

woose? Are you ok...what happened at your scan? Xx

Christelle2207 Fri 14-Dec-12 08:15:11

So sorry for you both x

BoyMeetsWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 22:05:29

Oh woose I'm so sorry hmm how long after the first initial bleed is this? I've still had no more bleeding since the one instance 9 days ago.

But I'm waiting for it imminently - the kiss of death was doing a clear blue digital today. 2 weeks ago it said 5+. Now it says 3+.

Like you I just want it to be over now. I'm sad, angry and scared about the impact on work & my fertility for the future.

Huge hugs, that's all that can be said. Xx

woose Thu 13-Dec-12 21:52:47

Boy I was wondering how you were doing.

Thank you for thinking of me. I hope you are okay. You never know everything may be okay for you. Just stay strong. It sounds like you are a really strong person. It must be scary now your symptoms have gone. But I am hoping, for you and I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Unfortunately, its all over for me sad I have been bleeding a lot with cramps and all sorts of horribleness. I feel awful! I just want it over now.

I will go for another scan tomorrow, and I expect it will have all gone from my uterus by then. Really really sad. At the moment, I just can't imagine being happy again. Its been such a long time, so anxious for weeks and now this.

Please let me know how things go for you. It has been really helpful talking to you and everyone else. Take care, and look after yourself xxxx

BoyMeetsWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 19:11:07

Just checking in to say good luck for tomorrow woose il be thinking of you. At my end, symptoms long gone, no longer feel pregnant in the slightest & increasingly bad cramps in uterus area - but no bleeding. Hope against all odds turns out ok for you x

woose Wed 12-Dec-12 16:24:43

Roxy I really don't know what my DH is thinking or feeling, it is very confusing. This pg was unplanned. I was very shocked and a bit in denial about it. DH has always said he really didn't want another DC. When I finally told him (after a week of worrying!) that I was pg he was okay about it, but then a few days later we had a big row about it and he said that it was the worst thing that had every happened to us. We didn't really say much more about it after that. We have so much other stress going on in our lives, we sort of focused on that instead. I know he is relieved because this was not something that he wanted. I am not really talking too much about how I feel to him because I don't want him to say anything hurtful. I would rather not know. As a couple we are not getting on brilliantly at the moment, so in that sense this pg was not good timing even if everything had worked out.

When I had my first mc about 5 years ago he was very unsupportive, he just did not 'get' it. He could not understand at all why I was so sad. So I just find it all very confusing and upsetting.

I will let you know how I go. I am going to try and go to work tomorrow, then Friday I have my next appointment. I am expecting by then that the mc will be well under way

RoxyLady Wed 12-Dec-12 13:11:50

My hubby did that but it was onky because he was so upset. Remember he is experiencing pain too in his heart.

RoxyLady Wed 12-Dec-12 13:10:30

Thinking of you. Please let us know ur ok

woose Wed 12-Dec-12 09:40:38

Forever I am so sorry that you had had such difficulties. What would the treatment involve for you? It is sad that your DH has given up, but I understand that it must have been so traumatic for you both. 41 is not too late. I know people who have had wonderful healthy pg and birth who have been in their early forties, even 45/46.

Christelle Thank you for thinking of me, but today I have started bleeding more and I have a fair amount of pain, so sad sad sad

boy Am keeping my fingers crossed for you too!

I just don't want to be on my own today. I want to phone my mum, but I just keep thinking she thinks I am pestering her.

My DH told me that is friend and his close work colleague and his wife are expecting their second and just announced it. I just started crying and had to go to bed. Why did he tell me now!


foerever Wed 12-Dec-12 02:39:58

While I read your messages, tears are in my eyes. I gone through all these. I had 7 miscarriages in the past 10 years and no successful pregnancy till now. I was diagnosed with uterine synaechia 10 years ago. I consulted few doctors and most said this is not a big problem. I should have treated the problem 10 years ago. There wasn't much info about this 10 years back. Recently I read that this could be the problem causing miscarriages. Now I am 41 and my husband has given up and does not want any treatment. So, I just leave it to God. Anyone has successful pregnancy with uterine synaechia?

wavesandsmiles Tue 11-Dec-12 13:35:41

Just wanted to say that I am keeping ym fingers firmly crossed for you both woose and boy. I hope that whatever happens you have lots of support. *Woose" enjoy - your son's play tomorrow. I hope that you can enjoy it thanks

Snowflakepie Tue 11-Dec-12 13:30:10

I don't want to give false hope Boy but its possible. Because there are 2 weeks added on when you put dates into the calendars online, effectively you become 2 weeks pregnant the minute you conceive. But I don't know how they measure things with early scans, whether that is taken into account or not.

My heart aches for you both, I just had my 12 weeks scan last week and all was well, thank god, but there was a young girl there who was all excited and smiley and then came out just sobbing, it was heartbreaking. So being prepared is perhaps a good thing, horrible as it all is right now. Hoping you can get some answers before Christmas, I hug my DD so tight every time I hear about this awful situation too x

Christelle2207 Tue 11-Dec-12 13:28:20

boy if you dtd lots there is a chance you ovulated (much) later than you think so I am hoping for good news for you too

BoyMeetsWorld Tue 11-Dec-12 12:38:30

Oh woose fingers crossed for you that christelle's right...that would be amazing!

What about me do you think christelle? Is there any chance? I don't even know the conception date (we DTD pretty much constantly that month to TTC) but I do know for def the 1st day of last period was 20th Oct. I'm always 100% regular with a 29 day cycle. All online calendars & OB made me 7 weeks+3 but scan last Tuesday (4th) said 5weeks at most :s

Christelle2207 Tue 11-Dec-12 11:12:54

woose keep strong but was thinking about your dates. so you dtd on the 3rd nov but you could have conceived up to five or so days later - also ovulating the day you dtd would be very very early in the cycle and unlikely. so lets say conception was the 8th nov, that would mean by 7th december the sac would be "four weeks in size" though you would be 6-7 weeks pg. so unless you bleed more, I reckon it looks ok. does that make sense?

Christelle2207 Tue 11-Dec-12 10:55:36

woose keep strong but was thinking about your dates. so you dtd on the 3rd nov but you could have conceived up to five or so days later - also ovulating the day you dtd would be very very early in the cycle and unlikely. so lets say conception was the 8th nov, that would mean by 7th december the sac would be "four weeks in size" though you would be 6-7 weeks pg. so unless you bleed more, I reckon it looks ok. does that make sense?

woose Tue 11-Dec-12 10:40:03

You are right, it helps to talk to someone who understands. Gosh the 19th is a long time to wait for a scan.

I know what you mean about feeling more grateful about the little ones you have got. It is hard to be miserable around them so you just get on with things.

I have my scan on Friday first thing. I can't see anything else happening TBH. No more bleeding (there wasn't really much in the first place), no pains or anything. I just feel very very tired.

Its odd because I keep thinking, what if I had just ignored the blood, not gone to the EPU, I wouldn't know about the situation and I would have been happily thinking everything was ok. I would have told loads of people and have gone to 12 week scan, and been devastated. I know people this has happened to and it must be awful. I am glad I know now, so when I go on Friday and they give me bad news I am prepared. HopefullyI wont be such a mess as I was last week.

I understand why you have not told your in laws. I have not told mine either. They have never known about the other mc either. I think they would just fuss so much. Also, they just don't seem to live in the real world IYKWIM. I don't want to spoil that for them. Silly isn't it!

I am sure your relatives wouldn't think you had failed. I think they would just be sad for you both. Also, they may feel they want to do something to make it all better, which of course they can't really, and so sometimes this can come across in trying to interfere etc.

I have got my son's christmas play tomorrow, so I am off work. I know that is going to be lovely but also I am sure it will be emotional.

Take care xxx

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