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life is a mess!

(11 Posts)
Stressed81 Wed 21-Nov-12 14:56:51

Hi I have posted on relationship boards too but thought i should post in pregnancy section too.
My partner left me a week yesterday. Im 21 weeks pregnant and expecting a boy. My partner wasnt very supportive really and wanted me to have an abortion i felt almost bullied I even made an appointment to terminate but couldnt do it. He wouldnt come to scans or appointments. He cameto a private one i paid for. He seemed to mellow a bit after that. Then like i said he left. Two days after he left i suffered a huge bleed i called him to take me to the hospital he refused he wouldnt even come mind the children. Scan showed i suffered a partial placental abruption and needed to stay on strict bedrest. With no one to mind the children i discharged myself. He hasnt helped or shown any concern he even said he wished the baby had died. I think he is possibly seeing someone else. I am in a mess! Im so scared

itsmyfirsteek Wed 21-Nov-12 19:59:57

Oh hun, I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you have parents, friends close by? You need to lean on those close to you.
If he is seeing someone else then he's not worth your time and certainly not your tears. Be kind to yourself sweetie and pm me if you need to talk, I'll help if I can xxx

milktraylady Wed 21-Nov-12 20:02:33

Blimey poor you, hope you have some RL support too.

good luck xo

Stressed81 Wed 21-Nov-12 21:09:49

Dont really have much family only my grandma who is almost 70. My mother left me when i was 6 weeks old and has never really bothered with me. He was my family.I have a couple of friends and they do what they can but I still feel so lonely.

tamster83 Wed 21-Nov-12 21:11:59

I really feel for you it must be horrible let . I've been a single parent my seld so knowhow hard it is couldnth imagine doing it with a newborn . having said that he don't deserve you behaving like that . he not worth it and 1 day he 'll realize what he's lost x

itsmyfirsteek Wed 21-Nov-12 21:55:22

Its going to bloody tough hun, heartbreak is crap and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but time really is a great healer and you have to decide what to do now. You are a mummy and soon to be again, join groups, be social when you can and life will improve. For the time being though, cry scream shout drink tea and eat chocolate. The rest will come I promise xxx

Countmyblessings Wed 21-Nov-12 22:42:50

So sorry that you are going through this and with being pregnant and having other children this will not be easy!
But you can get through this take one day at a time and you will cope!
I agree with trying to go to parent groups! Like1
O'clock etc!!! Local churches are good for teas and chats and making
New friends!!!
You clearly can't rely on him and he does not care nor
Love you!! Any thoughts on this guy ate wasted!
Put all your focus on you, baby and other dc!
Ps - maybe start a thread on MN seeking friends local to you!
Big hug to you xxx

Countmyblessings Wed 21-Nov-12 22:43:41

Sorry mistake " are" not ate!!!!

birdofthenorth Wed 21-Nov-12 22:45:52

I'm sorry, what a horrible position to be in. I don't mean to be harsh but he sounds like a total shit. Are there members of his family or mutual friends who could at least kick him up the arse to do his share with your existing DC and allow you to rest?

chubbychipmonk Wed 21-Nov-12 23:31:55

What an arsehole! You (and your children) deserve far better! Be kind to yourself & just take it a day at a time, in sure your friends wouldn't mind you leaning on them for a bit more support at this time.
Agree with what other posters have said. Try local groups, playgroups, soft play, mother & toddler classes etc & you never know youighg make new friends. Or speak to your gp/ midwife/ health visitor about support groups. Where do you live? Am sure you could put a thread on local mums net page looking to meet up?
One day you'll look back on this horrible time & be proud of yourself for getting through it. . . Your partner is going to be the loser in all of this not you smile

Stressed81 Thu 22-Nov-12 16:57:20

Thanks for your help I rang his mum and she took his side despite his disgusting behaviour, thats has really really annoyed me.
She then offered to mind her 2 grandchildren i told her in as nice a way as possible to stick it as she obviously doesnt know right from wrong. She even stuck up for him wishing his baby dead.
Im trying to ignore him, I hope one day he realises what he has lost

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