Slightly scared!(7 Posts)
I'm a regular reader and fairly new poster. Just wanted some kind words really
I'm 7 weeks pregnant with my dc2 and have an amazing ds who is 10 months old. This second pregnancy was planned and is wanted...but...I'm starting to really crap myself that we've done the wrong thing! I know this probably sounds stupid but I'm so worried that I'm going to destroy my gorgeous boys life by having the second child too close and not giving him enough of my time. That my selfish choice to get oregnant again is going to ruin everything basically (( we're going to be skint once double nursery fees kick in but i didnt want to leave a huge gap due to our age etc so we always knew this,and I'm worried about how ill cope with another baby. Are these all normal worries or have we genuinely made a stupid mistake??!! I'm worried how judgey my family will be about the age gap too, they're not too supportive at the best of times!!
Please tell me it's just the hormones....
Normal normal normal. I felt the same when I got pg with DC2 when DS was 18 months. A small gap is good in a lot of ways because your DS won't even remember not having you all to himself - less potential for jealousy and upset. Children, especially young ones, just tend to go with the flow.
You poor thing. I am the eldest of four and my husband is the eldest of 6. We both know of people who are only children, and their dearest wish was to have had siblings to play with. It is really early days yet as you know. All you have to do is make sure your pfb knows what is going on and that he is loved. Also, include him in the chores. That is what I did and had no major problems with jealousy. Good luck darling. x
I felt the same and there is 3y 18days between mine. My DS can't remember his sister being around - he remembers her being in my tummy and when I went to hospital to have her. That's it. They love being around each other mostly, and he admits (at the grand old age of 4.9) that he likes having her
I think it's normal to worry, but he won't remember not having a sibling
I think it's quite natural - plus hormones kick in and don't help! I remember feeling upset about it all too, and then when the second one arrives you get times when you feel bad about them not getting enough attention either! However, there are real advantages to a small age gap - they don't remember when times were different, and when they start entertaining one another it really makes it all worth it. You just have to keep in mind why you wanted more than one child. I had siblings, and we were always close - I never wanted to be an only - and if you waited until you could afford children, you'd never have any!
Don't worry too much - it will work out. I'm pregnant with PFB but have friends with a rising four year old and an 18 month old. Older one dotes on her wee bro, says he's her favourite toy!
And my 31 year old husband has a brother 18 months younger - they had a lovely childhood playing together,sharing toys, and are still close. It will work out!
Thank you for the replies. I think to be honest, whatever the age gap I'd feel guilty you're right!! I'm going to blame hormones though no doubt ill be dragging mothers guilt round with me for the rest of my life! I'm one of 5 and always wanted a big family, which is why we went for the close age gap to leave a bit of breathing space for no3. However, now I'm oregnant and thinking about logistics of life I'm starting to settle on just having 2. I think that's why I'm panicking as my 'reasoning' for wanting the close gap may not exist anymore. I'm slightly crazy at the moment I think!
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