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Feel like utter crap! Unsupported, unloved and sooo lonely (pathetic self pity thread)

(6 Posts)
DizzyDizzy Sun 18-Nov-12 17:26:03

Just having a general cry and moan. Only 15weeks, and partner not helping what so ever. Slept alone the past 3 nights because partner has been up partying, and have just had a big blow up at his nephews Christening, ending with, "I don't want you here around MY family", so left, only to return to a piss sodden bed, because he's forgotten to close the door to the bedroom, and the dog's got on the bed!!! (now the 3rd time it's happened!!!!) Had to lug the mattress from the bedroom to bathroom, to wash it in the bath/shower (because that's the only way to get rid of the smell.... soaking it through).
Really feel like utter CRAP! And soooo sooooo lonely right now. Feel like I can't speak to anyone, and I've really started isolated myself from everybody. Please say I'm not the only one, and that there's other women that have total w*nker partners too!!!! Want to move very far away and forget everything for a week sad sad sad

backwardpossom Sun 18-Nov-12 17:49:06

Oh Dizzy sad I couldn't read and run. Do you think he doesn't realise what a plank he's being?

dieciocho Sun 18-Nov-12 18:09:14

Oh, how mean of him. I'm sorry.
My DP has improved, but it's taken 29 weeks! For the first 6 months he called me lazy/refused to lift and carry the things I asked him to/got angry when I had all day morning sickness and couldn't face cooking him dinner/couldn't understand why I didn't want to go down the pub...
Only now that I really look pregnant has he started to tell me not to over-do things and to take better care of myself.
Hopefully your DP will improve more quickly than mine did.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Sun 18-Nov-12 18:16:43

Oh Dizzy, that's horrible. I'm not in the same situation this time round as I have a wonderful, caring husband now. But 20 years ago when my daughter was born I was in an abusive relationship and spent my pregnancy scared, alone and unsupported. Some of my memories of that time still bring me to tears today. With hindsight, I think I would have been happier if I was genuinely alone and unsupported as opposed to just uncared for.

Take care of yourself and your needs even if that means going it alone. I wish you well.

efme Sun 18-Nov-12 19:19:25

Dizzy that sounds awful. Can you get away for a bit on your own? Even if it's just taking an afternoon off work and treating yourself to whatever you fancy (which might even be more sleep or a bit of telly). Are there any friends you can talk to? Even if you feel like you haven't spoken to them for a while, I'm sure they'd be happy to hear you vent a bit and then keep in touch to make sure you're ok.

Maybe your partner doesn't realise how upset he's making you. They don't have all the same hormones but he's probably feeling a range of emotions as well, that are probably making him act all over the place.

Have you seen him since the Christening? If he was on a bender he might have said some things he didn't mean.

My partner told me I could always 'get rid of the baby and marry an accountant' when I told him I was worried about money. I don't think he has any idea how awful that was to hear, but he really didn't mean it, so I'm trying not to hold it against him.

Rosiesharples Sun 18-Nov-12 19:57:49

Oh sorry to hear you're having a crappy time sad my DH was rubbish when I was pregnant with DD, it was like because I didn't look pregnant I wasn't and was not sympathetic to all the changes I was going through he still went out partying and left me home and I spent pretty much the whole 9 months thinking id made a huge mistake. When DD arrived he came into his own and was brilliant very hands on and supportive and has remained so I'm now pregnant again and he is completely different from the first time.
I'm not trying to make excuses for your other half as it sounds like he is being an arse but all the changes are happening to you and there has been no change for him apart from his gorg fun partner is probably (and understandably) acting totally different and he doesn't get it. Try and sit him down and explain how he is making you feel and maybe he will see things your way...hope things get better x

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