Nervous

[joshsmum]

Hello all - have just joined mumsnet and am 34 weeks pregnant. Is there anyone around the same stage who is starting to get nervous?

Have just finished work and feel a bit like im sat waiting for something to happen. Ive read the baby whisperer and gina ford and feel a bit overwhelmed by all of the info. Have spent the last week or so debating whether to put baby in my room or straight into the cot? Also, do i swaddle him or put him in a growbag? I want to breast feed but my breasts have been so tender that the thought of a baby munching on them is not too appealing! Would never have thought about any of these things before now they seem a really big deal!!

Anyone have any advice?

[elena2]

Don't worry, once your baby is here, you'll do what feels right and natural to you, and learn through trial and error.

Re the baby in your room or in cot, you'll prob be like most new mums, and not be able to let him/her out of sight!

With my ds1, he was a really chilled, easy baby and never needed swaddling, whereas ds2 loved to be swaddled and secure, and went in a Grobag at around 8 weeks.

Try not to worry, you'll be a wonderful mum cos you'll do the very best for your ds/dd!

ps. There is an 'Anyone due in Feb 2004' thread in the Pregnancy topic so you can chat to others due at the same time as you...

[M2T]

Josh'smum - I am only 10 wks pg, but with my 2nd so I do know how you feel.

THose 2 books you have read are both very rigid in routine and perhaps you won't be happy administering that routine when baby comes. You're feelings are totally normal and I remember thinking I'd have my baby sleeping through the night and in his own room by the time he was 6 weeks old. Hmmm.... not a chance.
But then I didn't take into account how much I enjoyed him sleeping in our room.
But only you will know you're child and you will be so caught up in the marvel of him/her that things will just fall into place. You WILL find a routine that suits you.

As for breastfeeding, I only managed 4 days as ds was not latching on properly, but from what I know and from what friends have told me it can start out painful, but get through that stage and things will go swimmingly from then on. Even though it hurt with ds I am fully comitted to attempting it again.

Please don't get too many rigid ideas of what it will be like and how your baby will behave/sleep/feed coz that could ALLLLLLLL change when baby arrives. They are unpredictable creatures.

Most of all just enjoy the wee soul coz they grow up very fast!

[M2T]

Meant to say...
Welcome to Mumsnet!

And good luck with the birth. How very exciting!

[motherinferior]

It is nervewracking! My second is six months old and I was nervous both times. But honestly you will get through it. Go and read a frivolous novel with your feet up and a nice lunch, on the basis that you'll read loads of baby books later (honest).

(Don't think you can grobag them till they're about 10lb, btw.)

Good luck, and I look forward to the birth announcement.

[Twinkie]

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[motherinferior]

Oh yes. Dye your eyelashes too, and have a haircut. In fact schedule a haircut for just before the baby's due and you'll probably go into labour - worked for me and a couple of other MNers!

[StressyHead]

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[joshsmum]

thanks for all the advice so far
Am actually booked in for a haircut and colour next monday - hope that doesnt bring the labour on as will be a little early!!!

Twinkie - dont have another one already - Josh is the only boys name we both liked and therefore the one we decided on!! Was told its a boy so i just hope it comes out that way!!

[bluecow]

Welcome to mumsnet! Baby sleeping bags a godsend when baby is older - never swaddled. Never did Gina Ford either and my son has always slept really well, even from a few weeks old. Just go with your instincts.

We had our son in our (kingsize) bed for the first 6 weeks - not everyone's cup of tea but the midwife advised it and we all slept really well!

He was then in our room up until a year old, but only because we are renovating our house and there was no bedroom for him. I would have put him his own room at about 6 months otherwise, but again that's something where you just need to do what is right for you.

If you can't breastfeed, please don't worry. It's not the be all and end all.

Sleep when Josh sleeps too! And try and find time for the best baby advice you'll get - mumsnet!

[Chinchilla]

Welcome - As it is your first, you did well finding this site early! Don't worry about posting any questions, as you will always find somewhere who has been where you are, and worried the same as you!

With b/feeding, I would say to try it, and see how you go. If you are keen to do it, the Mid-wives in hospital will help you. I ended up doing it for 14 months, which sounds a lot, but by 9 months, he was only having 3 feeds a day, so it is not too bad! It is an amazing experience, but equally, you have not 'failed' if you decide to bottle feed.

Enjoy the maternity leave, and sleep whenever you can. Read a lot of books too, or do whatever you like doing, as the first few months you may be too tired to do anything!

It is so amazing to have a baby, but also scary. Just remember that we are all here for you.

[aloha]

Hi there, congratulations. Agree with everyone, relax and have a nice time. Go for lunch. curl up with a book or a movie. Go out! The baby will come whatever you do and you can't really know what you'll do until he does. And you will love him more than you can ever imagine in your wildest dreams, though there will be moments when you would happily give him away to a stranger - ie on his fifth night waking. It doesn't mean you are a bad mum
Re breastfeeding. It really is worth it IMO. And if you get the latch right (which can take a while - he's as much a beginner as you will be) he won't 'munch' at all. I was lucky and found breastfeeding pretty easy once my milk finally came in and it didn't hurt me at all. Think positively and have faith in yourself.
And definitely get a baby sleeping bag. God's own invention IMO. Like M2T I had wildly unrealistic ideas of how strict I'd be and how I'd have the baby sleeping through blah blah... er, wasn't quite like that but my ds is just the love of my life. I am actually in love with him with a rather embarassingly soppy passion.

[CountessDracula]

Hi Joshsmum, big welcome to mumsnet!

All I can say is PLAY IT BY EAR! Any plans you have when you are pg go out the window as you just try and cope with being a new mum. Some of the bits you were dreading are soooo easy, some of the bits you haven't even thought about are soooo hard, there is not really much more I can say. Just rest up now, get your strength up because you'll need it and enjoy the roller coaster ride to come!

BTW don't get your toenails painted if you do get pedicure as if you end up having csection they will make you take it off, if you do get them painted take some remover with you!

[stupidgirl]

Hi Joshsmum, congratulations and welcome to mumsnet

I would echo what everyone else has said. Take it as it comes.

I have spent ages reading parenting books (though mostly later, at the toddler/pre-school ages) and I have been so uptight. It is only recently that I have started to relax and realise that whatever I do I'm not going to be a perfect mum and I'm not going to have perfect children. And that doesn't make me any better or worse as a parent. Despite my name I am not a naive, gullable person and wasn't using any book as my bible, as such. But when I believed in something and couldn't live up to it I was giving myself a hard time.

I do think a lot of society relies far too much on other people teling us how to live our lives and I think that isn't always helpful.

What I'm trying to say (badly) is that no book will prepare you for the reality of having a baby. Forget what you've read and allow your instincts to guide you.

Best of luck