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Conceiving after miscarriage

(6 Posts)
littlemisswednesday Tue 13-Nov-12 14:45:16

I miscarried almost 5 weeks ago at 11-weeks. It was my first pregnancy and it was all very traumatic, for me and my other half. A few weeks on, I feel both emotionally and physically much better and we're starting to think about trying again. The nurse at the hospital said that we should wait two months before trying - I was in such a daze at that point that I didn't ask any more questions. I haven't yet had a period (I was bleeding for around 2 weeks after the MC).

From a physical point of view, does anyone know whether the waiting for your cycle to resume/1-2months is based on dating a new pregnancy, or on any other medical reasons? I had a scan after the MC and everything appears to be OK. We're still just thinking it all over at the moment, but it would be useful to hear thoughts/experiences of others who have been in similar positions.

mameulah Tue 13-Nov-12 15:36:16

We had a missed miscarriage and were told that I should have at least one full cycle before ttc again. If you were lucky enough to conceive again straight away then having waited for at least one full cycle would help you (and the medical people) know that it was definitely a brand new pregnancy. We were desperate to conceive again and waiting for my period to return seemed to take forever, in actual fact it took about eight weeks. However, in the midst of all of this I went to the doctor because I was really not coping with losing our first pregnancy. He recommended waiting for three months before ttc. That to me seemed utterly ridiculous but strangely enough it was three months after losing our first pregnancy that I fell pregnant again. And, as delighted as I was I realised I still had a lot of coping and grieving to live through which was hard, and often extremely upsetting,even though I was in the extremely priviledged situation of being pregnant again.

I am now waiting for the arrival of our little baby. It is due any second now! I had a sweep this morning and if our baby has not appeared by next week then I will be booked in for an induction. Strangely enough it is practically a year to the day since I was booked in for the 'procedure' to deal with our missed miscarriage. It is very strange to think that there is a very realistic possiblity of our baby being born exactly a year to the day that we lost our first pregnancy.

The best advice I can offer you is to try your very best to not focus on being pregnant. I honestly had a whole month of being a crazy lady, convinced I was pregnant and sneaking out of the house to spend inordinate amounts of money on pregnancy tests. I genuinely could not understand why they kept saying 'not pregnant.' It was only after a big meltdown and recognising that I couldn't maintain that level of being a nutter that we fell pregnant again. Having a glass of wine, eating what you are not supposed to and chilling out about it, as much as you can. I am certainly not a medical professional but that is what worked for us.

All the best, I know how hard it is. And don't be too hard on yourself for finding this a very strange and difficult head space and time to be in.

BabyBellasMumma Tue 13-Nov-12 16:18:03

Firstly, im very sorry for your loss sad we had a miscarriage in March this year at 11 weeks pregnant, it was horrible!
We were never told to wait to conceive after our miscarriage, and I fell pregnant straight away after without having a period. We weren't actively trying to conceive, but just presumed that it would take us a while as we had been trying for almost a year before I miscarried. Turns out I ovulated about 3 weeks after the miscarriage and im now 32 weeks pregnant!
The only problem ive had with this pregnancy was initially dating it. I was sent for a scan to find out how far along I was. The doctor reassured me that getting pregnant again so quickly after a miscarriage does not in any way affect the chances of the pregnancy failing. It is treated as an entirely new pregnancy and the chances of it all going well are the same as anyone elses!
The only thing that I would say is that this new pregnancy has been very hard to deal with emotionally. I have been worried and paranoid the whole time that something is going to go wrong, and although ive felt more confident the further along I've got, im still a worrier. Im convinced that its because I wasn't completely 'over' my miscarriage when I fell pregnant again. I think I would have been a bit more confident if I had had time in between to deal with things properly.
Whatever happens for you, I wish you the best of luck x

specialknickers Tue 13-Nov-12 16:32:02

Sorry for your loss OP, I've had MCs myself and it's horrid. Both times though the doctor has said that we could try again straight away, but that if we waited for a period then the pregnancy could be dated (the idea being that we wouldn't have the scans you get where you can't tell if the baby has developed or not, quite upsetting after a MMC especially)... I don't know if it's true or not, but allegedly you're supposed to be more fertile after a pregnancy so go for it if you're ready!

mameulah Tue 13-Nov-12 17:53:35

OP, I also totally agree with BabyBellasMummy I have been extremely worried and more paranoid than usual throughout this whole pregnancy. Honestly though, I think that is just part of it. I don't know that it would be possible to experience it any other way. I think dh's find it hard though because it is so much easier for them to be rationale about it. And they don't have hormones!

littlemisswednesday Fri 16-Nov-12 12:16:21

Thank you everyone for your messages - it's really helpful to read through them all and helps me to try and think about things a bit more clearly.

My period actually arrived the day after my original message - it was a massive relief to see that my body is getting back to normal. Such a relief that I didn't think I'd realised until then just how much it had affected me. So now we're going to take some time to work out whether we're emotionally ready to try again.

Thanks again xx

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