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what's the chances of it all having ended??

(11 Posts)
itsmyfirsteek Sun 11-Nov-12 18:14:01

I'm nearly 17 weeks and I don't know why but I'm terrified that the worst has happened and when I go for my 20 week scan there will be no heartbeat for my so wanted baby.
Please someone, what are the channces? Would I knowbeforehand?

BedHog Sun 11-Nov-12 18:28:05

Hi itsmyfirsteek, it's very normal to be scared and anxious about things going wrong in pregnancy, I know I was terrified before my scans. The good news is that you have safely got through the most risky period (assuming the 12 week scan was ok) and the chances of there being no heartbeat at the 20 week scan without you having a clue beforehand are very small. I don't know the exact statistics, but well below 1%. Have you felt any movements yet? It can take a while to feel anything with a first pregnancy but once you can feel your baby moving and kicking that will be reassuring that everything is ok. Of course if you have any pain, bleeding etc then contact your midwife straight away. Try not to worry, your baby is probably perfectly ok.

It's about 1% x

sundaesundae Sun 11-Nov-12 18:47:06

I was terrified before my 20 week scan last week and googled myself stupid. The chances are somewhere between 1-5% that there is a bad outcome at the scan, this covers serious abnormalities and silent miscarriage. Most of that group will have a history of things being wrong or a pregnancy that wasn't going well.

The chance of miscarriage after 12 weeks drops to 1%, so the chances are very slight, so try not to worry about it. I bought a really good doppler from Amazon for about £50, it really helped to hear the heartbeat and it reassured me. Now at 21 weeks and the otherside of my 20 week scan my flumpy little lady reassures me she is definitely still there.

16 - 19 weeks is a scary old time i found, but it is normal and a lot to do with your hormones. Honestly, you will be fine, but people saying that won't help if you are like me! You just need to take a day at a time and hope it goes quickly.

itsmyfirsteek Mon 12-Nov-12 10:55:09

Thank you, I'm just terrified it will have all gone wrong and I won't know. Wouldn't I have bleeding, cramps? I don't know why I'm driving myself so crazy

sundaesundae Mon 12-Nov-12 10:58:18

Because you are pregnant and we do!

Unfortunately some people have silent or missed miscarriages where they have no signs, but this is much much more common pre-12 weeks.

Everything will be fine, nothing you can do, worrying won't make it any less likely or any easier if the worst happens. Better to think positive and try and enjoy it

weeblueberry Mon 12-Nov-12 11:00:40

I feel EXACTLY the same as you. I joked to my DP the other day that if I had the money I'd have a private scan every single week just to know all was okay. He looked at me like hmm.

I had a scan a week ago today and feel uneasy already. I have another nearly 3 weeks until our private scan for the gender.

I had an emergency scan at 11.5 weeks because I had some bleeding. The sonographer was very reassuring and said I'd know if I'd lost it at this stage because I'd be in agony, lots of blood etc which reassured me. Then I came onto mumsnet and in the space of a week, 2 people posted that they'd lost their baby but had no symptoms other than a stopped heart (one of whom didn't find out for about 3 weeks until her next scan). So I went back to feeling uneasy again.

Its a difficult situation. DP is working under the impression that as long as I have no symptoms we should assume all is fine. I wish I could be like that, and am to an extent, but I'm also feeling anxious to get to the stage where I'm feeling movement and that is my reassurance.

Feel free to PM me if you're feeling at all uneasy. I might not have amazing advice but I do know how you feel. smile

sundaesundae Mon 12-Nov-12 11:08:31

It does get easier, my little lady reminds me every day she is still there.

philbee Mon 12-Nov-12 12:11:20

It's easier once you can feel them moving. I am 18 weeks and have scan in two weeks time. I had a missed miscarriage last year in the first trimester. It is possible for your body to hold on when something's gone wrong but, as people have said, chances of mc go from 25% in first trimester to less than 1% after you've seen a heartbeat on a 12ish week scan, so v. low. I can feel movements, (this is my second, so have a better idea of what to look for) but they're pretty sporadic, and I still think every day 'how will I tell DD when we find out the baby's died?' etc. But I'm trying to take one day at a time, work on the assumption that all's well, and let go of those fears. It doesn't help anyone to have me obsessing about things going wrong. I hope you can relax a bit. Worry is a pretty constant companion for a parent - we need to try to keep it a bit at bay!

pebspop Mon 12-Nov-12 12:49:38

I had a mmc at a 20 week scan last year. I din't know anything was wrong but looking back I probably should have seen signs that everything wasn't right.

I was the weighing the lightest I had in my adult life and the baby was always behind for the dates at scans (I had lot's of scans as I had a previous mc).

I am now 19 weeks pg and going for the 20 week scan on thursday - that is something to worry about i am going to be a crazy women on wednesday depsite seeing a 19 week baby on the scan last week.

I am sure you will be fine if you haven't noticed anything wrong. I am sure most women have these worries before scans and 99% of them are fine.

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 14:56:59

OP I felt that it would be bad news/all over when going for every scan in both my pregnancies! All was fine, feeling that way doesn't mean you're "sensing" anything, its just normal mum worry!

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