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Help. Feeling desperate and need someone to talk to

(10 Posts)
Flumpy2012 Sat 10-Nov-12 04:46:33

Is anyone awake to talk and hold my hand? I'm a mess

Hyperballad Sat 10-Nov-12 04:49:22

I'm here, what's up?

Jojoba1986 Sat 10-Nov-12 04:50:27

I'm up & available for hand holding! smile

shinyblackgrape Sat 10-Nov-12 04:51:56

Up too - pregnancy related insomnia is dire tonight. Hope you are ok

Flumpy2012 Sat 10-Nov-12 04:53:26

I don't even know where to start. I feel like I'm having a breakdown. I just can't cope anymore. Set to e a single mum with very little support and insulin dependent now and suffer with seizures and pernicious anaemia
I wanted to be a family so much it hurts but the relationship is a mess and he won't consider sorting things at the moment and I just don't know if I'm what's best for this baby. SS now involved and I feel like a total cliche, single mum on benefits with a SW. How did this happen?

Hyperballad Sat 10-Nov-12 05:08:22

Let me start by saying you are best for this baby.
Secondly I feel so sorry that you are in this situation, it really is truely awful for you. I can't pretend I know what it's like to be in your shoes but I do know I have seen similar threads on here that have had lots of support and been able to turn there situation around.

You can get through this, and you'll be loving and looking after your baby looking back at this mess as a horrible dream.

I see it as a positive that you have some support from a SS, do you?

Hyperballad Sat 10-Nov-12 05:23:27

Bumping this.

Flumpy2012 Sat 10-Nov-12 06:00:39

I just keep wondering if there is a family out there who can't have a baby who could offer her the family i can't, without all the health problems and risk

No SS make me feel like I'll never cope and constantly ask if I feel string enough to be a single mum.

Other times I think we will repair the relationship in time and things wil get better.

There are just no guarantees and I grew up so lost with depression and was badly behaved and I am so scared for her to go through what I've been through.

I'm just this desperate loser at the moment clinging to the hope that counselling and time will make us a family

potatolady Sat 10-Nov-12 12:57:19

Sorry you're having a difficult time. I have been through something similar in the past (first pregnancy) and now am happily married (to someone else) and working pt in a job I like with 3 lovely children and 4th on the way.

You need to find a way to feel positive about your future, can you feel happy about being a potentially fantastic loving single mum? I threw myself into making a 'nest' for myself and my baby, found a flat and made it a cosy home without spendling loads of money - you can get baby stuff second hand quite readily - freecycle? Adoption is always an option (whatever people say, it's your choice) but why not give it your best shot, so much will change in the next year. You might be suffering from depression and it would be best to make this sort of life changing decision with a clear head. When your relationship is bad it's not giving you the support and safety you need at a time like this - you ARE better off without that stress and hope/disppointment. Independence has a lot of positives, you will make friends through having your baby and you will support eachother. This doesn't mean you'll be alone for ever, when you're feeling good about yourself you'll be ready to think about relationships again.

If your daughter does have the issues in childhood you're worried about (she might be completely different!), you might be really good at dealing with it as you've experienced the same and you'll understand how she's feeling and reacting.

PM me if you want, I really wish you all the best, I hope you find a way to feel positive about your future. xx

Mylittlepuds Sat 10-Nov-12 20:37:01

On chick. I'm an insulin dependent T1 diabetic - the stress of that and pregnancy alone is enough to send someone over the edge. I know. If you need any advice on that aspect of things please MSG me.

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