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Uninterested husband!

(11 Posts)
Cantwaitforbaby Fri 09-Nov-12 21:54:57

My OH couldn't have been more excited when we found out we were pregnant and spent most of my first trimester looking glum that I could feel the baby and he couldn't. He first felt it at about 22weeks. The baby is moving lots now at 26 weeks and I get a nod of approval when I mention it. Today I had some sharp pain (baby still moving lots tonight so pretty sure all is fine) but he's not interested. I'm reading up on the pregnancy, labour, feeding etc and he's not interested

I want to slap him! This baby is my life now and it's not even here yet and he's over it!

Advice, help, let me rant some more?!??? sad

Chunkychicken Fri 09-Nov-12 22:02:23

Sounds pretty normal IME. I think most men (sweeping generalisation) can't really get their head around it until the baby actually arrives.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm on DC#2 and my DH still shows little interest in baby fidgeting most of the time. He's a great Dad and was an excellent birth partner, so I suppose that's what counts.smile

TwitchyTail Sat 10-Nov-12 00:33:07

Sounds like the excitement and novelty of pregnancy has worn off for him. I sympathise, I'm 5 months and kind of bored with it grin

Give him a break - I'm sure he'll get excited again once the birth is imminent and definitely once the baby arrives. Just make sure he's pulling his weight looking after you for now!

Chesterado Sat 10-Nov-12 14:41:48

Can you arrange to go to antenatal classes together? This definitely helped me and dh get on the same wavelength and focus his mind!

Hippolyta20 Sat 10-Nov-12 15:28:01

It might be down to jealousy? You say the baby is "your life now" does that mean he is getting a lot less attention?

Perhaps try making a little bit of time for just the two of you without baby talk like having a date night (even if just at home with some candles and a bottle of wine).

He might show more interest in the baby if he doesn't feel like it is taking the attention away from him?

Good luck smile

CailinDana Sat 10-Nov-12 15:36:22

I'm pg with DC2 at the moment and DH shows a polite interest when coerced smile but other than that just carries on as normal (besides being sure I'm ok, well rested etc). He was similar with DS, but he is a fantastic father, really brilliant, I couldn't ask for better. To be honest I think for a lot of men pregnancy is a bit weird and alienating - you're all special and different and they're just on the sidelines getting it all second hand from you. I also think with my DH that if he thinks about it too much he worries so he just pretends it's normal IYSWIM. I was annoyed in the first pregnancy but I don't mind at all this time around.

Cantwaitforbaby Sun 11-Nov-12 08:12:02

Thanks for the advice all. We have talked lots this weekend and much of what you have said is ringing true. I will try to chill a bit!!

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 11-Nov-12 08:15:19

My husband was like this with dd2- he really had zero interest. But was absolutely fine after baby arrived.

VisualiseAHorse Sun 11-Nov-12 15:39:20

Totally normal.

Remember, it's happening to you, so you're thinking about your body, your mind, your baby ALL DAY. It's constantly with you, and you're just getting bigger. Nothing has really changed for your partner (yet!).

PeshwariNaan Sun 11-Nov-12 18:36:50

This sounds normal. I can't get my DH to start reading anything. I'm 31 weeks and thankfully we are going to antenatal classes soon, so that'll help. Actually I'm being unfair as he did read a few pages today on hypnobirthing...

ImScaredShitless Sun 11-Nov-12 18:39:55

It will change again as the imminent arrival date looms, when you are both running around buying the last few bits that you need (or the first depending on how laid back you are about it!). I would read entire sections of pregnancy books out to dh saying 'did you know this about the week I am in, the baby is growing like this?!! 'yes dear/that's nice dear/really? what we having for dinner?' He is the most doting dad I know and cried when DD was born. It will return!

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