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18+4 and no heartbeat with doppler- please tell me what to do :-(

(141 Posts)
jkb Mon 05-Nov-12 23:27:24


I am 18+4 and have a doppler & have been finding the heartbeat within seconds since i was about 12 weeks. I have been having problems & so i always doppler twice a day (I have a huge clot in my womb which has caused 2 massive bleeds- last one at 16 weeks). The heart was fine this morning- now this even- despite me trying for over 1 hour- NOTHING- i am very skilled at using a doppler as was shown by a previous midwife. Could my baby have died- i cant sleep now- i dont know what to do :-(

something2say Sat 10-Nov-12 13:56:49

Hello my dear, just wanted to come on to see how you were and having seen, to give you a long cuddle on my metaphorical knee. I think crying is ok for now, and that's it. Thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxx

Bluestocking Sat 10-Nov-12 14:35:03

So glad your husband and mother are taking good care of you and the family. You don't have to talk to anyone until you're ready, and you can cry as much as you want to. Lots of love to you and dear baby Matthew.

lunar1 Sat 10-Nov-12 14:38:33

I am sat sobbing reading your update, I can't think of any words, I am just so sorry for the loss of Matthew.

Dillydollydaydream Sat 10-Nov-12 16:57:11

Sorry for the loss of your beautiful little one, Matthew. Take care x

lotsofcheese Sat 10-Nov-12 18:05:51

Oh my darling - I'm so sorry. What a beautiful name for your little boy. Fly high, little one.

I wish I had more adequate words for you; all I can say is please take care of yourself, allow others to help & grieve for your beautiful baby boy xxxx

mosschops30 Sat 10-Nov-12 18:17:38

Im so sorry for your loss sad i dont have any words that could even hope to ease your pain

amazingmumof6 Sat 10-Nov-12 19:45:54

I'm so sorry for loosing Matthew, I've been thinking of you and your family and praying for you all.

allow yourselves to grieve however long it takes.

cry, scream if you need to. cuddle your kids and hubby

talk about it and keep talking about it

write a diary

keep whatever he wore or was wrapped in near you

remember to explain to kids you are not mad at them (my kids used to get worried, they thought they did something wrong)

in fact what helped me most was answering any questions my children had and talking to them.
even if it broke my heart the sweetest thing they said was that they missed her and wished she could be here playing with them sad

the hardest thing apart from right now will be the first "anniversary" of everything that's just happened/will be happening.
and I know you can't imagine it now, but there will be a time when you will be able to think of him without crying

I hope you find these thoughts comforting in some level

pinkyp Sat 10-Nov-12 21:39:41

So so sorry for your loss sad

looneytune Sat 10-Nov-12 22:52:21

I've just read this and wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. RIP baby Matthew, I'm pleased you were able to spend time with him, I feel that is really important. Thinking of you x

Iceaddict Sat 10-Nov-12 23:03:03

Really sorry for you and your family op, thinking of you sad

hellymelly Sat 10-Nov-12 23:49:00

I'm glad you were able to spend time with your beautiful baby boy. I've been thinking of you. I hope the placenta has resolved, a friend had retained placenta and did have to go back in for a d+c, but it was about a week-10 days after she had given birth.
I'm sure your friends and family wouldn't expect you to do anything other than cry right now, what else could you do? they will understand. Be kind to yourself, cry all you like, I hope you are surrounded by love.

PinkFondantFancy Sun 11-Nov-12 22:52:32

I'm so sorry for your loss. Little Matthew sounds like he was beautiful, I'm glad you were able to spend some time with him. Thinking of you both this evening x

chubbychipmonk Fri 25-Jan-13 22:18:06

thanks So sorry for your loss. . . Don't have anything else to add other than we're all thinking of you x

rainand Fri 25-Jan-13 22:43:40

Really sorry for your loss sad

jkb Mon 04-Feb-13 19:31:59

Thank you everyone for all your kindness xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

aimingtobeaperfectionist Mon 04-Feb-13 19:41:20

How are you doing? There's always someone here if you need to talk.

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