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First Midwife appointment...

(17 Posts)
tasfi26 Sun 04-Nov-12 11:08:50

Was wondering....on my first midwife appointment, am I meant to take my husband?? I knew she may ask about medical history and thought it would be good if he was there too right?

VivaLeBeaver Sun 04-Nov-12 11:11:05

Most people do but you don't have to if he's struggling to get the time off work. I didn't take dh with me. If he doesn't go though just make sure you know of any genetic conditions, etc on his side of the family.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 04-Nov-12 11:12:55

I didn't take mine to any of them. It's a long appointment and you'll know the answers to his medical stuff anyway. Mine has difficulty getting time off anyway so I figured if he was going to be with me, I'd much rather have him at the first scan.

I'd read up on your local choices for giving birth including home birth before the appointment as she will probably ask you where you'd like to give birth.

tasfi26 Sun 04-Nov-12 11:13:56

Ahhhh..thank you very much. Wish being pregnant came with a step by step guide book. I'm so early on but don't have a clue sometimes smile thank goodness for mumsnet!

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 04-Nov-12 11:17:54

She'll probably give you some sort of guide at the appointment and if you sign up for the emails at [ nct] they are pretty useful toosmile

IShallCallYouSquishy Sun 04-Nov-12 11:21:15

My DH didn't. He came to the 16 week one where you hear the heartbeat for the first time and then to one towards the end of my pregnancy but only as I was having blood pressure issues and it was easier then me phoning him to come home yet again as I was being sent to the hospital for monitoring!

Flisspaps Sun 04-Nov-12 11:47:14

She'll probably give you a handy NHS step-by-step book to being pregnant too grin

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 04-Nov-12 11:51:14

I think that scan times can vary. Around here you get a dating scan at around 12 weeks and an anomaly scan at 20 weeks.

TwitchyTail Sun 04-Nov-12 12:05:39

I didn't even think of taking my husband to the midwife appointments (or the consultant appointment, for that matter). It would have meant him having to take precious time off work just to watch me ask and answer boring questions and have my urine dipped grin He has just come along to the scans so far.

For what it's worth, I've never seen a man in the midwife-appointment waiting room, so it does seem to be the norm to go alone (though it would be fine for him to come along if he was free and willing!).

panicnotanymore Sun 04-Nov-12 13:56:07

I don't take mine to midwife appointments, but he does come to scans. The scans are special for him too, but watching me have my blood pressure taken etc is a bit boring. Plus the midwife will run through private stuff, ask questions on how you are coping, if you are feeling down, if you have relationship problems you might need help with. Some women are grateful to have the chance to discuss this away from their partner.

stargirl1701 Sun 04-Nov-12 13:58:17

My DH came to all the appointments. Our previous pg had ended in mc so we were both very anxious throughout.

I doubt he'll do the same if we have a second grin

bonzo77 Sun 04-Nov-12 14:17:50

DH came to some of the scans with my pregnancies. I wouldn't really expect him to take time off work for appointments, unless it was a follow up for something worrying. Tbh when things get stressful I prefer him not to be there.

beckslovestimmy Sun 04-Nov-12 14:50:29

My husband has been to all my appointments so far, it's a nice way for him to feel involved in the pregnancy

Flisspaps Sun 04-Nov-12 15:29:30

FWIW DH came to all my AN appts for DD and the ones he was off work for anyway with DS.

mrsbugsywugsy Sun 04-Nov-12 15:41:26

My DP has come to all of my appointments so far, his work give fathers-to-be 'free' time off to attend them, and so it has been a good way for him to feel more involved in the pregnancy.

ConfusedKiwi Mon 05-Nov-12 07:21:11

My DH came to pretty much all my appointments for DS1 - mainly as his work was directly across the road from where the community midwives were based. I think at the first appointment they asked him about family history and about his alcohol consumption and smoking etc. Rest of appointments it was more so he could hear the heartbeat as well.

This time, he's only been to a couple of my appointments as midwife is based in different area of town and his work is less sympathetic to pregnancy appointments.

LeBFG Mon 05-Nov-12 08:12:45

First time through I dragged brought DH along. This time, even though it's a pg identified at-risk, I've left him behind. There are always long waits so I prefer only to incovenience me rather than us both. Some of the novelty has worn off too, plus, of course, if DH is at home he can look after DS. A little break for me grin.

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