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Taking other DC to 20wk scan ...

(18 Posts)
TwinkleReturns Mon 29-Oct-12 19:28:28

I have my anomaly scan tomorrow at 12. I am a LP with a 19mo daughter. I dont have anyone that I can ask to have her; she had to go into emergency foster care when I was rushed into hospital the other week, so really genuinely have no-one that I can ask.

At my 12 wk scan I saw lots of mums there with other DC and in the literature for that first scan there was no mention of DC being present being an issue. However the form for the anomaly scan clearly states "You are welcome to bring one adult in with you but unfortunately there is no provision for children" ... So what do you think? Can I get away with taking her as it doesnt state that children are not permitted just that there is no "provision". Surely there are some of you out there who have taken DC to their anomaly scan with no issue?

Ive left a message with my midwife asking what she recommends I do. I dont want to turn up and find I am not allowed to have the scan but there must be other parents in similar situations to me who cant arrange childcare?

DesperateHousewife21 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:38:48

I would take her, we took ds to all our scans ( I've had three extra growth scans).

Would she sit in the buggy with some rice cakes or something while you're actually having the scan so she's not wandering around/ making noise?

RightUpMyRue Mon 29-Oct-12 19:43:56

I'm not taking my DD who is 10 because as I see it as a medical procedure and not a jolly. Should something be found wrong with the baby I definitely do not want her there finding out like that.

However, for you, with your DD being only 19 months, she won't understand what's being said. Is she aware there's a baby in mummy's tummy even? Although if you are given upsetting news she will know something is up anyway and it will be distressing for her.

20 weeks scans take longer than 12 weeks ones, around 20-30 minutes. Will your DD sit happily in her pushchair all that time? You won't be able to leap up and grab her if she needs you. A well timed nap in the pushchair would be ideal, is there any chance of that happening?

There'll be no provision for someone to watch her while you're having your scan is what letter means, no baby sitters, but if you've got no choice then I don't see what else you can do?

Have you no other friends/neighbours/relatives who could come with you and watch DD while you go in? Even a casual acquaintance would be happy to help in this situation, I'm sure.

Hopefully your midwife will have some advice. You could ring the ultrasound dept and see what they suggest too?

addictedtolatte Mon 29-Oct-12 19:46:53

i took my ds to my scans. i did what desperatehousewife said just strapped him in pram. am sure the staff would understand.

SeveredCabbage Mon 29-Oct-12 19:52:11

Take her because you have to take her. There is no alternative. Strap her in and give her something to do. Tell her you are going to talk to the lady/man and lie on a bed and she is going to sit in her buggy and then afterwards you can go home and get the play-doh out or whatever, so she knows a little bit about what is going to happen.

TwinkleReturns Mon 29-Oct-12 19:55:53

That was my plan desperate ... I was thinking of taking food as its around lunchtime and she can sit in the buggy and eat and Ill talk to her. No she's not able to understand there's a baby in mummys tummy!

Shes usually quite good and shouldnt cry - we've had an unsettled year fleeing DV and in and out of refuge so as long as she can see me she usually copes well with strange situations. The events of this past year are why there isnt anyone I can take with me Right - Im beginning to make friends at toddler groups etc but I dont have anyones number and neighbours are all quite judgey having heard domestic disputes when ex-p was still here.
Plenty of friends 200+ miles away though grin

mamij Mon 29-Oct-12 19:56:48

Took DD1 to all my scans (12 wks, 20wks, 28wks and 32wka). She was two when DD2 was born and was fine at all the scans. The sonographer was fine with it. I think they are just concerned in case DCs were crying / wanting mummy during the scans.

Jergens Mon 29-Oct-12 19:58:57

One of the reasons (apart from the possibility of distressing news being given) that they don't encourage children to be present is that the sonographer/obstetrician really needs to concentrate. This can be made more difficult if children are being noisy, etc.
I know you're a bit stuck though as you don't have anyone that can take your DC. Hope your scan goes ok.

TwinkleReturns Mon 29-Oct-12 20:00:00

x-posts severed - thats it in a nutshell really. I either take her or I dont have the scan (which isnt an option) so really if they get funny I shall just have to stand my ground and explain that I dont have a choice. <grits teeth>

Zombiebunny Mon 29-Oct-12 20:01:42

I took my daughter who was 2.1 to all my scans - she loved seeing 'baby on the tele' smile

whatchagonna Mon 29-Oct-12 21:44:15

We tried just taking DD to our 20wk scan (we'd just moved countries so knew nobody who could watch her) despite being told children weren't allowed. DH ended up missing almost everything since they made him wait outside with her, BUT the receptionists took pity on him in the end and watched DD for 5mins whilst he came it to see the baby wriggle around. So he missed the detailed parts of the scan (which could have been horrible had there been a problem, but we'd had a detailed scan earlier on for various reasons so were fairly confident baby was ok), but got to see the baby showing off.

So hopefully you'll find someone to help you out. Definitely don't miss the scan for it though: sounds like a bit of an exceptional case.

TwinkleReturns Mon 29-Oct-12 22:23:54

yeah hopefully they cant take that line with me as there wouldnt be anyone to wait outside with her. After my ex I sometimes find it tricky standing my ground so Im more worried about this than I should be blush

RightUpMyRue Tue 30-Oct-12 18:11:09

How did it go Twinkle?

TwinkleReturns Tue 30-Oct-12 18:54:46

yeah it went ok! I had a call back from one of the midwives in the morning who got really arsey and kept trying to get me to agree to rearrange it for a time when I could get childcare. She didnt seem to grasp that I couldn't get childcare full stop and not just for that particular date. In the end she said she would speak to the ultrasound dept and explain the situation. I didnt hear anything else so just went along to apptmnt. They were absolutely fine, the lady at reception said that people bring DCs all the time and the sonographers dont actually mind.

So I worried about nothing basically! DD was really good the whole time we were in there, sat and stared mersmerized at this wriggly thing on the screen and kept pointing and saying "mumum this!!" all amazed grin
Everything fine with baby aswell which is good.

ISeeThreadPeople Tue 30-Oct-12 19:05:05

Oh I'm glad it went well! My dd had to come to my 20wk scan with ds and the sonographer was just lovely to her. Gave her a free pic and everything. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Sounds like you've had a rough ride. Have a restful, healthy 20 weeks.

TwinkleReturns Tue 30-Oct-12 19:32:29

Thanks ThreadPeople smile

SeveredCabbage Tue 30-Oct-12 20:01:12

Oh good Twinkle. I'm glad it all went so well.

I was in a similar situation to you when I moved and I was at the office at school filling in the forms for who could be phoned in an emergency and I had no one. They said I couldn't leave her and the woman next to me said I could put her down until I made some friends. So I did.

RightUpMyRue Tue 30-Oct-12 20:48:04

That's good news Twinkle smile Glad to hear it went smoothly.

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