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Getting desperate - Finding first trimester really difficult this time around

(6 Posts)
AlphaBeta82 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:09:21

I have a 20mth old toddler ds, and this pregnancy is making me so poorly. completely different from pregnancy with my DS. I feel like i am being a bad mother to ds, a bad wife to dh as all I am doing is feeling sick, being sick or being exhausted! So pleased with this pregnancy and this is a very much wanted baby after multiple mcs but I am finding this first trimester really hard going this time around.
On top of it all I am constantly anxious about losing this one, so even if I do feel well for a moment or two I suddenly panic that something has gone wrong and hope to feel worse again!
Sorry totally wrong of me to rant, dh is being wonderfully supportive, just feel down tonight as haven't kept a thing down all day, my son seems to be really picking up on it all and very off with me, work is completely full on at the moment and I just want to cry... self pitying over!

Any tips on how to get through the next few weeks without driving myself crazy!

bonzo77 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:20:20

Sorry for your mc. I was exactly the same in this pregnancy, felt like crap, felt guilty about being a rubbish mum to my toddler and wife to DH. And like you DH was supportive and I worried constantly about another mc. Some things that helped: telling people who could support me how I felt, my mum did some cooking for our freezer and looked after DS when I felt at my worst. Getting ready meals and takeaways or getting DH to fend for himself. I also had lots of extra scans, 7 weeks, 8.5 weeks, 10, 12, 15, 20, 22, 24, 28. The first 3 were at EPU when I went in with concerns, 15 & 22 weeks at maternity triage for the same reason, and the rest were planned to monitor growth.

Really I only started feeling physically better at about 16 weeks, and mentally about 24. I'm 30+3 now and much less anxious. So just hang on in there, it's emotionally exhausting I know.

There's a thread in pregnancy called "pregnant after miscarriage" full of us feeling the same as you, join in!

AlphaBeta82 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:36:56

Thanks bonzo, also must apologise as I just re-read and realise how self pitying it really is. At the same time we feel so lucky and grateful to be in this position - basically I need to learn to harden up a bit!!

ellesabe Mon 29-Oct-12 19:38:17

I was the same as you in my 1st trimester. I totally didn't realise how easy I had it when pg with dd1. No advice really other than to just do whatever you need to get through it. And if it's any consolation, I have found the 3rd trimester MUCH easier than last time.

AlphaBeta82 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:40:09

thanks ellesabe thats good to know as last time I sailed through till 3rd tri which was terrible! Maybe I just have it the other way round this time!

Chubfuddler Mon 29-Oct-12 19:41:03

I was basically exactly the same as bozo when I was pregnant with dc2 (2 mcs in between the two children). I was a nervous wreck and although I tell DH I don't want another baby that isn't actually entirely true. I just can't face another pregnancy.

That's not helpful is it? Sorry, I totally sympathise.

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