Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

[ellesabe]

"You need to get a grip"

and

"What the heck is wrong with you?"

[alpinefresh]

'are you going to drop that thing in here?' said to a heavily pregnant lady wheesing in a lift.

the response.... ' no i had it this morning, i just nipped out for a fag!'

[fishface2]

God, you're soooo big!

[Pochemuchka]

Sounds like you are having a similar day to me!

Mine:

'Snap out of it'

And never complain about being 'the family slave' to a pregnant woman who is mother to two under 4s already, does most of the childcare aside from when she works 25 hours a week and does everything around the house when you are asked to do a couple of simple child related tasks

(So angry I barely make any sense)

[Natnat29]

'thought you were much further along than that'
Things you should do to a pregnant woman- try to lift her top up to see what her belly looks like- seriously a woman a work actually tried to do this to me

[BoysBoysBoysAndMe]

You can tell your pg from your face

Have you not had that baby yet

[halloweeneyqueeney]

anything LOL

oh its getting nice and big = you're fat and your baby will be 13lbs
you're nice and neat = you are too small, your baby is too small
how are you feeling? - "how do you think?"
Do you want my seat = you're useless cause you're pregnant sit down and get out of everyone's way
can you feel kicks yet = you should feel kicks by now, if you don't there's something wrong with your baby


etc
there's no right way to talk to a pregnant lady , and its wrong to not talk about it too LOL

[EmpireBiscuit]

"wow - you're huge"

Just what an emotional wreck, recovered anorexic wants to hear....twice a day, every day....

[ellesabe]

Pochuchka you make perfect sense to me!

[Pochemuchka]

Mrswolowitz - I think the pickled egg thing is fair enough. Pickled onions are awful, pickled eggs are lovely. :)

[irrationalfears]

DH just said to me this evening (38 weeks pg) watching me struggle to balance a plate on my lap "god, you arent getting even bigger are you?" not impressed.

[abigboydidit]

Me (smoothing down new outfit for much anticipated night out when pregnant with DS) - "How does this look"?

DH - "tight"

What part of his brain could possibly have imagined that that was what I wanted to hear??

[Pinkflipflop]

"Morning sickness is mind over matter"

Said to me by my uncle when I was in the horrors of 1st tm.

[Fisharefriendsnotfood]

As I was getting out of my car at 37 weeks my usually lovely neighbour said "I'm surprised you haven't got pickfords chauffeuring you about yet"

[Doodlekitty]

At 40+2 I think I might kill the next person who calls me just to ask if there is 'any action' yet. Mil calls 3 times a day to do this, which is ridiculous as she is our designated dog sitter when I need to go in so will be first to know.

[AbbyRue]

"Have you had baby yet?" texts!!!!!

Yeah like I'm going to keep the baby a secret

[Sparklyboots]

"I thought you were pg, you've been looking very sturdy"

"It would be better if the baby was a boy. A boy would be better"

• two recent gems from my MiL

[gruber]

Can you just pick that up off the floor for me-

NO! I can barely reach to put my own socks on, getting harder every day. You can reach down without agony/severe heartburn/taking 10 mins so please do and save me the trouble.

[MarianForrester]

You look like you're about to explode.

[charlottehere]

Your massive. Not long now/oh thats quite a long time really.

[bangersmashandbeans]

My favourite from a work colleague:
"I wonder if you'll get as big this time round. You were an absolute whale last time."

[Lambzig]

Oh, from my boss two years ago when I told him I was 16 weeks pg - "Oh goodness, I thought you had got rather buxom lately" - while continuing to stare at my chest. Yuk.

[datingthedevil]

My brother today asked me how soon I was going to join the gym and work off all the weight. Cheeky bastard.

[datingthedevil]

Has anyone noticed how people tend to look at your stomach when they first see you? And then continue to talk to your bump rather than you?