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My friend

(5 Posts)
riamay2011 Sat 27-Oct-12 07:44:25

My friend has just found out she is pregnant by Ann who she has been dating on and off for 8 months now.
She really wants to keep the baby but he is drilling it Into her head to get an abortion. I have told her that this is her choice her body and he has no right to demand an abortion. What else can I say? It is getting me real down about it she is such a lovely girl x

riamay2011 Sat 27-Oct-12 07:46:59

By a man not Ann! Stupid iPhone

Just make sure she knows it's her decision because her body has to go through it an#it isnt easy. Ask her if she could live with the fact she has aborted? She might be scared he will leave and if she is then let her no you will be there for her every step of the way :-).

pumpkinsweetie Sat 27-Oct-12 14:39:00

I would tell her to think how she would feel in a year without a baby and how she would feel as a single mother.
It all comes down to what she feels and what she wants-tell her that it's her body and her choice & not to let this man in anyway influence her as it is infact her that will have to deal with the emotions if she has baby or does not.

phoenixrose314 Sun 28-Oct-12 10:57:09

This man has no right to be telling her anything - it takes TWO people to make a baby, and if he didn't want one in the first place then he should have been more careful.

Your friend has already said she wants the baby, so I think she needs to really think about what having an abortion would do to her emotionally and how it would eventually affect the relationship she had with that man. A very close friend of mine was in a very similar situation, she had only been with him for five months and became pregnant, he pressured her (but didn't force her) to have the abortion, and within a year they had fallen apart - she became very emotional about what had happened, and his perspective was "So what? It's over." She resented him and they couldn't get past it. I was with her when she went to the appointment - he couldn't even be bothered to go with her when she "dealt with her little problem" - so I saw how deeply it hurt her, then and for years afterward.

I am NOT against abortion, I think it is the right thing to do for some people and in some situations. But I believe that if there is any doubt, the emotional trauma will be severe and irreversible.

Please give your friend the shoulder she needs to realise she can do this alone if it comes to it, because she will have supportive friends and family around her, and this man may eventually come to his senses - but if he doesn't, is he really the kind of man she wants to be with anyway?

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