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Straw poll- to find out the sex or not?

(60 Posts)
RightUpMyRue Tue 23-Oct-12 19:36:48

Appt came through for 20 week scan. We're undecided if we should find out the sex or not. I did for DD and was glad I did, I wanted a girl and was thrilled to find out I was getting one smile

I really have no preference this time. DD wants to find out...DP doesn't know whether we should or not...I'm not sure....

What do you think? Did you find out? Are there any reasons we shouldn't?

SilentMammoth Tue 23-Oct-12 19:38:53

I'm in the"not" camp. I love surprises and it's always so exciting during labour to realise your finally going to find out!!!

Gingerbreadlatte Tue 23-Oct-12 19:39:41

Save it for the day of birth! I never find out and love the suspense. Also I prefer to wait so i can do proper bonding once baby is here... rather than deciding name etc before hand. Thats just me though.

Congrats!

kellestar Tue 23-Oct-12 19:41:06

I'm not finding out, didn't with DD. It was lovely that excitement in labour and when she came out DH said it's a boy a quick glance said girl, bless him, he thought he saw the goods, just cord.

peasandbeans Tue 23-Oct-12 19:41:56

We've had 5 surprises and never regretted waiting till the birth to find out. Only problem is not being able to choose baby clothes other than white/unisex before its born.

Pumpkinlatte Tue 23-Oct-12 19:42:57

With my niece my brother found out, my SIL didn't, and he managed to keep it secret for 20 weeks. Got the sonographer to write it down on a bit of paper that brother took away with him. Everyone was happy! Not sure whether a child could be trusted to keep schtum, though!

RightUpMyRue Tue 23-Oct-12 19:43:52

4 against. Seems pretty conclusive so far!

Littlemissimpatient Tue 23-Oct-12 19:45:50

I would find out. It may help your dd bond. You will know if you need to boy blue stuff.
And because i have no patience so couldn't not know!!

RightUpMyRue Tue 23-Oct-12 19:46:48

DD wouldn't make it out of the hospital before telling us Pumpkin smile

I've said she can't come to this scan though as it's primarily an anomaly scan I'd rather she weren't there, just in case.

SilentMammoth Tue 23-Oct-12 19:47:30

And if the sscan is wrong, what is that like for bonding?

SilentMammoth Tue 23-Oct-12 19:49:05

Actually this is intetestng. My midwife told me that people seem to be les keen now then they used to be on finding out. I wonder why?

MrsEddChina Tue 23-Oct-12 19:49:26

We're finding out a week today, after i was always adamant that I never would. Now I have the choice I'm so excited and too impatient to wait another 20 weeks!

RightUpMyRue Tue 23-Oct-12 19:49:42

Striking out on your own there Littlemiss smile

Good point about helping DD bond/get used to the idea. She's 10 so there's big age gap and she's had a few less than positive moments thinking about how things will change.

PrincessPumpkinshoutsBOO Tue 23-Oct-12 19:50:44

I am pg with #3, I have never found out and won't be finding out this time. I like the surprise, also, hospitals get it wrong too often.

PeshwariNaan Tue 23-Oct-12 19:51:37

It's up to you.

We did, but we almost didn't. We just wanted to narrow down names, to be honest! It was still exciting.

Anyway, they couldn't say for sure, so it could be the other sex. We're not fussed. smile

TroubleAndFyfe Tue 23-Oct-12 19:53:13

I loved finding out and will do next time too!

WerewolvesDoTheFandango Tue 23-Oct-12 19:53:45

Find out! Find out! Find out!

<Stands elbow to elbow with little miss against the masses>

noblegiraffe Tue 23-Oct-12 19:54:13

So it's not a whitewash, I'll vote for finding out smile

I don't like surprises anyway, and it just seemed silly to have that information available but to deliberately ignore it until the birth. As if it would be more of a treat at the birth than at the scan, when at the birth you already have a baby as a reward! It's a nice point in the pregnancy and you can then start properly bonding with the baby instead of being all neutral pronoun-wise.

My DS loves talking about his (as yet unborn) little sister and has been lovely about it all.
My sister is delighted because she can prepare to offload all my niece's clothes onto me.

We don't need to worry about debating a whole gender-worth of names and just the ones that actually matter.

Can't think of any downsides, tbh.

StuntNun Tue 23-Oct-12 19:54:19

I did find out with all three of mine but I warn you it can be a bit of an anticlimax. It's going to be either another DD so you'll have two girls or a DS so you'll have one of each. It's probably more exciting if you have seven boys already and you're desperately trying for a girl. That said you're going to find out anyway in the end.

ErikNorseman Tue 23-Oct-12 19:57:43

I vote not. DS was crossing his legs so we couldn't - I'm very glad. We all have preconceptions and secret preferences and I think it's better to wait until the baby is here when all those preconceptions will fly straight out of the window smile Buying pink or blue clothes is a silly reason, everyone will buy you stuff anyway, and a boy won't know or care if he is dressed in pink.

ladymia Tue 23-Oct-12 20:00:52

well i'm finding out i can't imagine NOT knowing for another 20 weeks. i am far too nosey

Kelerina Tue 23-Oct-12 20:05:45

We just found out at 20 week scan a week and a half ago and I am so glad we did! I feel so much more connected to the baby and he has become less abstract somehow in my mind. This is also helped by feeling more movements recently though.

I really disagree that it makes the birth any less exciting or special, I cannot wait to meet my little boy smile

I competely see the appeal in not finding out but like noblegiraffe I just couldn't imagine having the information available and not finding out.

I say do it!!

LauraPalmerPlusOne Tue 23-Oct-12 20:12:23

We found out & I love knowing he's a he. I'm actually more excited now.

It's also been a lovely for DSS (8), who let out a whoop and an air punch when he heard the news. He's having a great time teasing us with how he and his little brother are going to gang up on me and DP! grin

eagleray Tue 23-Oct-12 20:13:28

Before I got pregnant, I was of the opinion that it was like opening your presents before your birthday.

Then we had a few weeks of stress/uncertainty whilst going through the amnio/cvs process and at the same time my dad suddenly became ill (sadly it was terminal).

We found out at 16 weeks (as part of amnio results) that she was a girl and was able to tell my dad this just hours before he slipped away. I think it also helped me and DP bond with her after such a stressful period of time.

It's still a personal choice though - people managed for thousands of years without finding out beforehand, and it does seem to have triggered a terrible addiction to buying baby dresses on Ebay that she will probably never wear

LauraPalmerPlusOne Tue 23-Oct-12 20:13:42

Meant to add - it's a surprise regardless of when you find out wink

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