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Complete miscarriage paranoia, turning into crazy lady, please help

(16 Posts)
Fairy130389 Sat 20-Oct-12 20:59:52

Hi all,

I'm 5w3d... This is a much longed for first baby and we are sooo excited,
thing is,

Firstly it didn't feel real at all so I took 4 tests, then another test 2 days later because I had convinced myself I had made it up...

Now I have become so so paranoid about miscarrying that it is almost all I can think about, thinking about the likelyhood at this stage and obsessively googling every little symptom!

I think it doesn't help that I have had no morning sickness yet at all (I know it's early days), quite a lot of mild cramping, and I just don't feel pregnant at all!!!

Is it normal to feel this way? I just cannot imagine having a healthy baby at the end of it, I have convinced myself that something will go wrong...

I am usually a really positive person and I don't like this new nervous wreck of me!!!

iloveholidays Sat 20-Oct-12 21:08:48

Hi fairy. I was exactly the same in my first pregnancy. I have extremely irregular periods so always thought I'd struggle with conceiving but luckily I've been okay.

Firstly I think I took about 7 tests smile and still didnt really believe it until I started feeling sick. This didnt come until around 6-7 weeks. It is completely normal not to feel anything for weeks... I soon wanted to go back to the early weeks when the morning sickness kicked in!!

Anyway, just wanted to say that what you're saying sounds completely normal to me!!

Good luck and hope you enjoy your pregnancy!!

lurcherlover Sat 20-Oct-12 22:01:50

It's normal. The sad truth is that if you are going to mc, you will and there is nothing you can do - 80% of mcs are in the first 13 weeks of pregnancy and almost all happen for chromosomal reasons - ie an abnormality incompatible with life. I have had a first trimester mc and got through the subsequent emotions by telling myself constantly that there was nothing I could have done and it just wasn't meant to be - I am pregnant again and so far all is well, and I'm telling myself now that this is nature's way of giving me the child I'm meant to have. Sorry, I know none of this helps the worry. One thing you can do if it would help is book an early private scan - but bear in mind it only stops the worry for the time you're having the scan...if you want one, try to wait until about 9 weeks as the risk of mc once you've seen a heartbeat then is v low, so if you've got that far the chances are you'd be ok.

pinsent Sat 20-Oct-12 22:16:51

Hi Fairy,
I was exactly the same. I had no symptoms at all, so took 8 tests! In the end my DH had to hide any remaining tests to stop me. I am now 36+2 & still constantly worry about things going wrong, although not quite so much as the early weeks. Until LO makes an appearance I think I will always worry. Sorry, that's probably not very reassuring but I think it's perfectly normal to worry. Having an early scan at about 6 weeks helped me as I was able to see the flutter of a little heart beat. Please also remember that not everyone gets symptoms, I didn't get anything apart from feeling a little extra tired, plus I didn't start showing until quite late on. It's only now that I am nearing the end that I have symptoms in abundance.
Hope everything works out for you. X

grainmum Sat 20-Oct-12 22:18:15

Hi Fairy, I'm also turning into a bit of a freak - I'm 6 weeks but this is my second pregnancy after a miscarriage in July. I have very few symptoms (although DH is pointing out my moodiness as a symptom!) and this week I've been struggling, just waiting for something to go wrong. In the past couple of days it has helped to focus on the fact that bad things (pain, bleeding) haven't happened, and also to try to think to the future - maternity clothes, nursery decorations, thinking about what we'd need for a baby.

We didn't expect we'd conceive again so soon (our first cycle trying after MC) so I'm trying to believe in this baby, that it will grow, and that it must have happened again now because it's meant to be.

Jollyb Sat 20-Oct-12 22:57:05

Fairy - it's not unusual to feel like this. I worry more when I read threads where women are discussing minutiae of labour and discussing names at 5 weeks. Please remember though that the odds are in your favour and that worrying isn't going to change anything. It may be worth limiting your googling for a few weeks - the Internet can be a scary place. Good luck

Sickness and other symptoms don't usually kick in til 8 weeks in my experience, and I got really sick with two of my 3...

panicnotanymore Sun 21-Oct-12 09:27:59

The mild stretchy cramps are completely normal too. Something to do with the uterus and ligaments stretching.

Congrats btw!!!

Kelerina Sun 21-Oct-12 09:44:00

I am now 21 weeks and never had any morning sickness in 1st trimester, had a few weeks of feeling a bit queasy first thing in 2nd trimester, heightened sense of smell etc but was never actually sick. I have gotten off very lightly where morning sickness is concerned, so you may never get it!! (Sorry to all those who suffered!). It's not necessarily a bad sign!

I also had quite a lot of mild cramping 'period' type pain, then again later on which i've realised is round ligament pain, everything is stretching and that will be a bit uncomfortable.

I have only started to relax a little after my 20 week scan.

All sounds completely normal. smile

Teapig Sun 21-Oct-12 09:53:44

I'm another who hasn't had any morning sickness. I was worried it was a bad sign as I had an mc before but 12 week scan showed a beautiful little baby.

My mc parania was almost constant in those first 12 weeks, it's quite normal to worry although it only stresses you out so try and just relax.

14+4

Fairy130389 Sun 21-Oct-12 10:33:45

Thank you so much everyone - I feel much better now. I think I may look into the early scan thing - trouble is as you say, it will only make me feel better whilst the actual scan is happening, unless I get a hold on it aswell, it won't actually help me.

Had a bit of a weep to my mum (seem to have endless flow of tears!!!) who just said to remember that although there is a chance of problems, millions of women give birth to completely healthy babies all the time, so why should I be any different??

Anyway, all the support on here is great and helping me get over my google addiction by transferring it to a mumsnet addiction hhaha!

Grainmum - are they giving you an early scan because of your mc? that might make you feel better? I'm sure we will both be fine, we just need to stop the hormones from turning us into crazy fruit cakes and we might make it through!!!

grainmum Sun 21-Oct-12 21:55:52

Fairy, my GP didn't mention early scan but I didn't ask either. My miscarriage wasn't discovered until a scan at 10 weeks and baby measured 9+ weeks so I don't think an early scan would help. I just have to be patient.

joanna1990marie Sun 28-Oct-12 05:46:41

I'm really scared, this is my first baby and I'm about 8 weeks but the past 2 days my boobs haven't hurt at all and I don't feel very sick, I only threw up the other day though and had an irrational outburst at work yesterday, I'm just terrified I've miscarried, I've had no bleeding, I have a scan on Monday but I'm expecting the worst.

BigW Sun 28-Oct-12 11:59:59

Guys, I know how you feel - I was exactly the same. I was such a wreck by the time my 12 week scan came around that I was literally shaking and crying when I went in and the sonographer had to calm me down before he could scan. I worried about lack of symptoms, then too many symptoms - everything really! I had completely convinced myself that he was going to tell me that I had miscarried.

I am now 36 weeks and all is going well. All I can say is, as hard as it is, try not to focus on what can go wrong. The sonographer said to me that I would do more harm to my baby by being constantly in a state of panic (I worried about that for a good while too!!). Things do get easier - especially when you feel movement. As someone has already said, you can't control what happens and worrying won't change anything, so try to enjoy it as much as you can!!!

Good luck and congratulations!!

Fairy130389 Mon 29-Oct-12 16:11:52

Joanna - You sound just like me! I have calmed down a lot though this week, as I have decided that all it will do is stress the baby out. I have also decided to book an early scan to make myself feel better, maybe you could do the same? Have you explained to your doc how anxious you feel?

Big W - thanks so much, it is so nice to know that I am not alone - I know everyone has an element of worry but I think mine was getting a bit extensive! Good luck to you - do you know what you're having?

BigW Mon 29-Oct-12 16:58:43

No idea! Looking forward to a surprise!

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