Pregnant with 3rd after having coil removed, anyone else had feelings of guilt?(2 Posts)
Found out I was pregnant today with baby number 3, I have two DS's of nearly 5 and 2 1/2. We started our own business just over a year ago and I was able to leave my job and work part time from home, otherwise I could not have relied on maternity leave this time.
I had a not so good birth with my first son (poss PND) and found his first few weeks very difficult however I had a lot going on (new move) this resolved itself after a while and I became very close to my first DS and a very loving but slightly manic little boy! We had our 2nd whilst we were settled and the birth wnet like clockwork and he slept for the first three weeks! He was a very easy going baby with a lovely nature.
I had feeling sof guilt when pregnant with number 2 that my first would somehow feel unwanted or unloved but of course they are inseperable so I should not have worried.
But I am having the same feelings, I know many people have three. I feel guilty especially again for DS1 but not so much for DS2, I feel awful for not really considering DS2 but he is just so easy going and I don't think he would mind at all, I just feel especially close to DS1. I am getting to the point that I would like to talk to someone about these feelings but don't really know who?
Don't torment yourself. There is always something to feel guilty about when you are a mum but it sounds like you have good relationships with your children so you really shouldn't worry. FWIW I have three, like you I had a tricky delivery with ds1 and an easy one with ds2 and this can cast a shadow over your relationship with them and like you I had to work hard to overcome this with ds1, however I can honestly say that in many ways my relationship with ds1 has improved since ds3 came along. In some ways it 'dilutes' any jealousy, because you are not giving attention to one at the expense of the other, you are caring for one whilst the other two play together, iyswim. The midwife who delivered my 2nd two babies suggested I contact the Birth Trauma Association - I never did but you may want to consider this if you feel you are having trouble letting go of the experience.
In the meantime, try to enjoy your pregnancy and look after yourself
Join the discussion
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.