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Feeling a little like I don't belong...yet

(17 Posts)
frogchops Wed 17-Oct-12 21:38:15

Am ever so slightly nervous (and a bit giddy) typing this, god knows why....blush
But have been having the talk (you know the one) which has led us to agree to ttc, well not necessarily try, but just not prevent it. I have spoken to my doctor about it, and made sure that its all ok to stop taking my pill etc ( have been on it for nearly 6 years) ....he has suggested that actually it's quite difficult to get pregnant, hence why even though I think I'd be shocked and scared to death if it happened next month, I'm kind of not expecting it to. I'm 30 next year and having read many stories of people trying for 2/3 years + I think the sooner I'm of this pill the better.
Only thing worrying my OH is the finances of it all. He's very on top of all monies and obsessed with being able to afford things. I hope he doesn't become celibate on me now, with this worry!
Anyway, it's all very new, most things seem like a mine field, but never the less an exciting one. Any general advice, on anything, anything at all blush??

terilou87 Wed 17-Oct-12 21:51:06

i think the best way to "try" is not to try. if you know what i mean, just dont over think it. every time i have "tried" it hasnt happened got me very stressed which i think was making it harder tc. then when i stopped ttc it happened strait away. other thing is get to know your natural cycle, eg time between period, and ovulation. tmi i know but i know when i ovulate as i get stringy snotty discharge.blush good luck trying and rem have fun xx

sundaesundae Wed 17-Oct-12 21:52:48

Don't be too shocked if it happens, we thought we'd have a go as it takes 2-3 years, fell the first month. Now nearly 18 weeks and 30 (whispers)... next week.

Good luck, it is scary, but there is no right time.

MB34 Wed 17-Oct-12 21:57:30

Hi, don't be nervous - we're all friends here thanks

Probably not what you want to hear but I know a lot of people on here, myself included, came off the pill and were pregnant within a couple of months. I've been on some kind of contraceptive for 16 years, came off mid-December last year and was pregnant by mid-February (although we were ttc - hard lol!). Then again on the other hand, everyone's different and it may take a while. So just because someone tells you it's quite difficult, in reality, it might not be, so prepare yourself.

With regards to finances - if we all waited till that point where we thought we could afford children, then there would be very few children being born! DH and I have quite good jobs and a little savings but I still worry that we can't afford children! But as I've heard before, everyone manages! And I suppose babies cost as much as you want them to - you can buy everything brand new, or you can get a lot of good stuff second-hand. You'll just have to put on your sexiest outfit and sexiest smile to get your OH to forget about the finances for half hour/an hour/two hours! lol!

MamaMary Wed 17-Oct-12 22:01:36

It's totally normal to feel nervous - it's the uncertainty. But I promise you'll be fine - it will work out.

I came off the pill and was pregnant within three months. Neither DH nor I have well-paid jobs - I work part-time and DH is fairly low-paid. But we are now expecting DC2 (again, i got the coil taken out and was pg within three months). We have got most of our baby gear second-hand or off freecycle, and noone would ever know - that way we can get good quality for far less. Sometimes you just have to 'go for it'.

Good luck!

frogchops Wed 17-Oct-12 22:15:19

Thanks for making me feel a bit better!!....and MB34 it actually is what I want to hear tbh,....I'm just terrified at the thought of my OHs panicked face if this happened!! He's very worried! I agree with everything you say about finances, but trying to get him to see this is another matter! And errrr, 2 hours??? That'll be the day!! Lol.
Nice to know its do-able for normal people, if that makes sense, we both have okish jobs nothing spectacular, but we doing just fine, having finally learnt to manage our first house for the last 12 months.

frogchops Wed 17-Oct-12 22:17:25

Oh and the ttc- hard, lol.... I'm not sure that will be us , yet wink we've never really been a every night kinda couple, but to me that just means theres room for improvement!!

18wksplus Wed 17-Oct-12 22:30:02

Getting pregnant is actually often not that difficult.. I got pregnant both times (currently 21wks with #2) the first month we tried (at 28 and 30 years old respectively). 7/8 couples are pregnant within a year of ditching contraception (I think - something like that). If you're ovulating regularly and having regular sex then your odds are pretty good really. But you're right to start trying sooner rather than later in case you are that 1/8. That's partly why we started 'early' (in our jobs anyway) - a doctor told me that I'd struggle to get pregnant naturally (a doctor I've never bothered going back to and resent having giving up an hour of my life to, for obvious reasons...).

Personally, if you want a baby, just do it. Once you're pregnant, it's too late to change your mind (kind of like jumping off a high diving board) but you get a long time to get used to the idea. And your finances will cope. Babies don't have to cost a lot of money, unless you insist on having a stupidly expensive buggy and buying organic clothes...

frogchops Wed 17-Oct-12 22:57:37

Yeh, I'm not the kind to want the newest and flashiest everything, and with quite a few littlies already in the family, I'm quite happy, in fact would be most grateful of hand downs!

Lora1982 Thu 18-Oct-12 06:23:36

frog i got preggas after my first normal period after the pill... so id say two months... also i think my total spend is practically 0. ive been given everything id need... have fun ;)

MrRected Thu 18-Oct-12 06:43:04

Frog. It took me & DH 15 months to conceive DC1 - I hadn't been on the pill (just using condoms).

It took us <one normal cycle to conceive DC2 after going off the pill.

It took 2 months to conceive DC3 after going off the pill.

Not everybody struggles after coming off the pill grin

suzyrut Thu 18-Oct-12 10:47:53

Hi frog, I came off the mini pill and conceived within 2 weeks (no af even) and I am 37!

mrsbugsywugsy Thu 18-Oct-12 17:32:19

I'm 34 and came off the pill, and got pregnant first try.

have you asked your mum how long it took her to conceive? Lots of people seem to have similar fertility to their mums.

frogchops Thu 18-Oct-12 18:39:41

Between you all you have scared the living craps out of me, In the nicest possible way!.... I've had a bit of a think and now I'm wondering whether to stay on it til January.....I'm thinking the pill keeps things nice and regular over Xmas, and I've hot a holiday in January. Am I talking myself out of this!?!?
And yes, bugsy, I'll do just that! ;)

18wksplus Thu 18-Oct-12 20:01:05

Clarifying a bit: it only took us a month to conceive DD1 once we started trying, but it took me 6m to GET a period after coming off the pill. And they were horrid months: cramps, bloating, pain etc, as my body readjusted. So I was glad that I'd come off a long time before we wanted to try.

So once I was ovulating, it took one evening, but it took a long time for me to ovulate after the pill.

So might be worth coming off sooner rather than later and using condoms in the interim...

mrsbugsywugsy Thu 18-Oct-12 20:07:44

Perhaps you could come off the pill now and use condoms for a bit, to give your cycle a chance to settle down before you start to ttc after your holiday in January?

Then you don't run the risk of being in the first weeks of pregnancy for your holiday, when you might be suffering from morning sickness.

frogchops Thu 18-Oct-12 22:40:45

I'm still worried it could take a while..... So think I'm just gone go for it. Had a potential scare today at work when I found out I need to be in my post for 1 year before being entitled to contractual mat pay....this isn't til 2nd April.... And the qualifying week, which I'm sure is 15 wks before due date is literally days after. So as long as I don't get pregnant before Monday! Lol I should have scraped in!!

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