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am i the only one worried about differing parenting skills before DS is even born??

(5 Posts)
Sam419 Wed 17-Oct-12 14:53:03

As the title says...
Me and OH had very different upbringing although we both can recognise where our parents 'thought' they were doing the best thing for us but actually werent the best choices...e.g I was brought up to drink water and squash and fizzys were for one off's or special occasions. I have great teeth, never had any fillings and still only drink water now....OH on other hand was always given squash and fizzys whenever he wanted...family has a history of bad teeth and OH is dreadful at drinking water-subsequently gets dehydrated more!

To me it is really important that our LO isnt given squash or juice as a baby (wouldnt mind if this was until 2 when he can differentiate between the 2 himself) as friend's LO wont drink water without squash in it as they gave it to her from baby...
OH says he agrees to a certain point but isnt that fussed as 'it wont do him any harm to drink weak squash'. It also worries me that the in laws are going to go behind my back and give him all sorts when they look after him (they are terrible for giving our dog treats even when me and OH are stood next to them saying NO!)

Anyone else envisage problems like this in the future and have you got any advice on how to straighten them out before LO arrives?

Sorry for long post!

MrsJohnDeere Wed 17-Oct-12 15:00:49

It is great that you've identified these things before you give birth, as it gives you time to work it out and try to reach some compromises.

Dh and I spent hours reading pregnancy books but didn't give a thought to how we'd do things after the birth or how we'd organise life with a real life baby. I wish we had. Tiny areas of disagreement can become a huge deal when you're exhausted and sleep deprived!

Rockchick1984 Wed 17-Oct-12 15:46:25

Being completely honest, you will probably both change your minds on a lot of things as you go along with raising your family. There was things I was completely adamant about sticking to, but once it's the reality of the situation things can be very different. I wouldn't worry about it at this stage, simply take everything as it comes.

Regarding the in-laws, there's only so much you can do, and a lot of it depends on how your DH feels as well. I know someone who has invented a dairy allergy for their DD as it was the only way to prevent her parents constantly feeding chocolate to their DD smile
Other than something so extreme, you will probably just have to be forceful, and if they really would go behind your back and you feel strongly enough, simply don't leave your baby alone with them.

Sam419 Wed 17-Oct-12 20:59:17

Thanks for replies! Im sure there will be many things we will disagree on over the years to come!
How did you manage to settle differing opinions tho as i truly truly HATE arguing with OH...he gets such a hot head!

As for the in laws...we shall have to wait and see, although i think OH feels the same as me about their ways hmm

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 21:06:12

It's good that you can talk about this. But you are currently talking about parenting ideals.

Parenting skills you will both develop as you go grin
Also many other external factors will influence your decisions.

Make your agreements over the big stuff, and compromise or forget about the rest till the time comes, if you can?

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