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Did anyone think it would never happen?

(12 Posts)
libra35 Mon 15-Oct-12 20:15:36

Hi ladies - I guess I'm looking for some hopeful stories. I'm 3 years in to ttc my first child. All i have to show for it is 1 early m/c 2.5 years ago and numerous investigations. IVF is looming. The weird thing is I just can't see myself ever getting pregnant now. I just can't imagine it happening to me even after ivf and I can't see my body ever getting a bump. I don't know whether this is some awful sixth sense or just a feeling as a result of being on this roller coaster for so long and having a failed pregnancy behind me.
I guess I was just wondering whether anyone else felt like this or was in this position once and where what you thought was impossible became a reality??


Dandelion75 Mon 15-Oct-12 20:31:07

Hi Libra

I felt EXACTLY the same as you. Spent 3 years TTC and having loads of tests before embarking on IVF, mainly due to male factor fertility issues. We had done loads of research on adoption too, and planned to do max 3 rounds of IVF and then apply for adoption. I had never managed to get pg so no experience of pregnancy and was convinced I just could not and would not ever get pg.

First round of IVF was a real challenge - it's such a complex and overwhelming process, and I tend to think its a bit trial and error while they get you on the right drug regime. By the second cycle we felt much more relaxed and confident as we understood so much better.

We are now 15+4 and expecting our LO at the start of April at the age of 37 grin I got a lot of support from other women on the forum run by my clinic and of those who were cycling at the same times as me there were lots of others in exactly the same boat as you and I. I can't promise you that everyone has had the result the want through IVF, and sadly not everyone gets their bump - but i have seen them achieve amazing things with even the most complex of fertility problems so keep positive.

Have you chosen a clinic yet? I'm sure if you go onto their forum, or the fertility friends forum you will find tons of women who feel the same as you, and lots of them who have had a good result with IVF.

Lots of luck

RubyrooUK Mon 15-Oct-12 20:53:58


Yes I've been there. Three years of investigations led nowhere. Unexplained fertility; no periods after years of entirely regular periods. Doctors had no clue. Honestly, I was told on one occasion that I'd never have kids and that was just "my lot in life" as I had an undeveloped uterus. I was investigated for a tumour on my pituitary gland. Another doctor told me I was fine physically just a "bit stressed".

I was lucky in that once the doctors worked out that my problem was with not ovulating, Clomid was able to push me into it (third cycle) and then I got pregnant.

DS is now two years old. smile

When I gave up breastfeeding DS at 16mo, I discovered that by some miracle, my periods had restarted. I ovulated and got pregnant. I miscarried sadly but until that point I hadn't known I could ovulate myself.

I am now 18.5 weeks pregnant - completely naturally with DC2 - and crossing everything that it all works out.

Yes, there are people who don't ever get to have babies. My friend is about to enter his seventh year of TTC with fertility treatment with his wife and still no baby. sad But there are also lots of people like me, who do get their baby and they are in the majority of people I know.

I know it's hard to stay positive but you are doing all the right things. Sometimes it's just hard work making these things happen.

WendyWillow Mon 15-Oct-12 21:04:38

We were TTC for 4 years, I have pcos and we went through Clomid, Clomid plus metformin, ovarian drilling and nothing worked. Went to see the GP as it was all getting too much, had counselling and decided to give myself a break for a year. After relaxing for about a year we felt ready to try IVF, only one free round and we picked Guys hospital. No expectations of it working, why would it, everything with a high probability previously had failed, we had even lined up where to go for a round afterward where we would pay and then we would give up and explore adoption. The IVF medication made me feel pretty rough at times I thought they would cancel the round due to hyperstimulation, I had about 50 follicles, all growing, they harvested early and only got three eggs. At all points I thought it would fail or something go wrong, I'd decided it was just never to be it just wasn't how I was made, but now I'm 22 weeks, still not used to it and can't really believe it. Everyone has their own journey, it's always natural to compare yours to other people's, and I was always really hard on myself when things worked for others and not for me. The hardest thing to do is to learn to accept whatever comes, good or bad. There is also no recipe for happiness, no magic wand which will make everything perfect and anything really can happen.
Sorry for the complete ramble but just look after yourself and it can happen, fingers crossed that it will for you.

rogersmellyonthetelly Tue 16-Oct-12 07:01:47

We had 39 cycles of trying with ds. No mc, nothing. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We finally had our appointment through for iui and a week later I found out I was pregnant.
When ds was almost a year old we thought we had better get cracking in case it took another 3 years. I got pregnant on the first cycle.

jammic Tue 16-Oct-12 09:01:59

It took us 3 years and 3 ivf cycles before I got pregnant with our DS. I honestly thought it would never happen, that I would never be one of those women who got pregnant. After much heartbreak we decided our third IVF cycle would be our last and as we did the pregnancy test, I was in floods of tears. My poor DH was trying to show me that the test was positive. But I just couldn't take it in.

Our DS is one now. It's not always been easy but he's an absolute joy. He has made our lives complete. Amazingly, on our last cycle, we had enough good eggs to freeze 3. We'll probably go back for them at some point but it no longer matters anymore, our lives are complete. I hope so much you find a way to start your family.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Tue 16-Oct-12 09:03:59

10 years, countless investigations, IUI, clomid. Worked 1st try of IVF. Was so shocked I actually asked 'Is that a baby?' after I gave birth. 8 months later am still shocked.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Tue 16-Oct-12 09:31:26

We spent 4 years trying. Was offered referral to fertility specialist at 38 but turned it down as I felt it would happen if it was meant to happen. Then I passed 40 and accepted it was not going to happen. Now I'm 12 weeks gone shock

LifesAHappySong Tue 16-Oct-12 09:35:44

I have PCOS and wasn't having periods at all. We 'tried' for 18 months, which seemed pointless as I wasn't even ovulating and was just a soul destroying experience having to wait it out whilst friends got pregnant at the drop of a hat. I honestly thought I would never get pregnant, never have a bump and certainly never have a 'normal' experience. Just started the process of fertilty investigations and I started feeling really sick - to my total surprise BFP! I didn't even want to take the test as I was too scared of yet more disappointment. But miracles do happen. I then conceived our second baby very quickly. This was 2 years ago and if you had told me that I would now be expecting a second baby I would have literally fallen over in shock. Good luck it's one of the hardest things to go through and I hope it all works out for you.

forgetmenots Tue 16-Oct-12 10:06:02

Felt exactly like this and I hadn't even been through why you have. I kept telling myself my negativity was 'instinct'. So much so that when I did get my BFP I had to take five tests before I believed it. Hang on in there (and never stop pestering the doctors they are there to help!)

libra35 Tue 16-Oct-12 10:55:19

Thank you so much for your amazing stories. It does help to hear of others who have come out on the other side. I guess I just have to sit tight and realise that I am doing everything I possibly can. It also shows how odd fertility is when people can take years to have their first and then nothing.
Dandelion and Flamingnora - amazing and many congratulations on your pregnancy.
Forgetmenots - thats it, it's my negativity that I think is my instinct and sixth sense.
Thank you for your kind words . Just maybe perhaps I will one day have a family of my own. I shall live in hope.

cbd Tue 16-Oct-12 13:03:43

Hi not completely the same as you but when I was 16yr old I was told by drs and nurses that I wouldn't be able to have children unless it was by IVF or someone else carrying a child for me. Reason for this was originally they thought i had a cist on my overies as i was in so much pain, after numerous scan they came to the conclusion there wasn't as cist simply because they could not find any overies, by 17 yrs I had finally started my periods but I was 'lucky' if i had one every 6-12 months. drs weren't sure how i had a cycle when there was no overies. Anyway to cut along story a but shorter I went to a and e aged 24yr old with sereve stomach ache after a nasty car crash only to be told my nurses that I was pregnant. Me and my dp at the time had thought that we were never going to be parents, so it can as a complete shock. You never know what will happen in the future. i'm now 28 and on my 3rd preg (2nd ended as mc) but drs still cant find any overies and I still dont have a regular cycle. I hope you get some good news so. But for me it was like i finally got preg after i got over the let-downs and the negatives thoughts about never being a mummy.

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