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oh my goodness my husband is useless...

(16 Posts)
ilovecolinfirth Sun 14-Oct-12 18:03:50

I have just found out that my wonderful but slightly useless husband has forgotten to apply for paternity leave AND the baby is due in 5 weeks. To make matters worse, our first child came 3 weeks early AND due to bleeding caused by placenta problems I'm stuck in hospital and have been told that any more bleeding will result in emergency c-section.

Has anyone else's husband been so forgetful? Did he still get paternity leave? So so stressed!

MeFour Sun 14-Oct-12 18:05:47

He only has to apply 21 days before so you're ok

ilovecolinfirth Sun 14-Oct-12 18:31:56

Thanks MeFour, but not calm yet. From what I can see 21 days is needed for parental leave, which isn't usually paid. Paternity leave is paid but 15 weeks notice is needed. Bother bother!

Lora1982 Sun 14-Oct-12 18:40:42

the first (maybe 2nd) thing on my boyfriends mind was his paternity :-D i think it depends where you work because hes getting paid.

TheAngelshavetheOod Sun 14-Oct-12 19:00:12

Paternity and parental leave are different.

MeFour Sun 14-Oct-12 19:46:00

Sorry may be my mistake. Dh has always just mentioned to his bosses when I'm due and no worries

Leftwingharpie Sun 14-Oct-12 20:28:24

My husband refuses to take any time off, at least yours is just useless!

Kafri Sun 14-Oct-12 21:24:21

For what it's worth, I had to repeatedly ask nicely (nag) my DH to bring the paperwork home and then full it in myself and send him back with it with clear instructions of questions to ask etc. otherwise, it would never have been done!
Bless him, he's good at rubbing my tired feet and making me a brew at my every whim though! Gotta give him some credit!x

JennerOSity Mon 15-Oct-12 11:15:08

Depends on the employer how much notice they demand etc. They must have contingency plans for sudden unexpected arrivals - what if baby was born very premature for some reason - they could hardly refuse pl then could they - suspect they would just have to authorise it retrospectively and HR would have to sort out the salary implications after the fact.

My Dh just casually mentions it to his line manager and that's it - and he works for a big corporate company. It varies between employers

ZuleikaD Mon 15-Oct-12 11:35:49

You are supposed to give 15 weeks notice. Your DH had better make nice with the HR department!

Sastra Mon 15-Oct-12 11:42:21

This could easily have been my DH. If his HR department insist on doing things by the book in terms of the 15 weeks, might they consider a couple of weeks annual leave at short notice? That's what we're having to do as DH started a new job recently so hasn't been there long enough to qualify for PL.

BonaDea Mon 15-Oct-12 12:08:42

MEN!!! Tsk tsk.

Tell him to get on the blower ASAP. In reality, they are not going to refuse him altogether, he will just have to do some grovelling.

ilovecolinfirth Mon 15-Oct-12 13:21:55

Thanks so much for advice. As it happens, his work seems pretty relaxed about it so hopefully all should be ok. Could still wring his neck though.

Guess I'm feeling so stressed because have had a possible c-section hanging over me since 20 weeks, and have now been hospitalized for possibly last few weeks. Now is NOT the time for him to be refused paternity leave.

NorthWhittering Mon 15-Oct-12 15:16:27

Thanks for this as I didnit even know men had to apply (he didn't qualify last time as it was a new job) I doubt dh knew either so I'll tell him!

femmeaufoyer Mon 15-Oct-12 15:18:33

My DH has booked a business trip to Shangahi 3 weeks before my due date, when I asked him why, his response was "I didn't think"....says it all really!

ilovecolinfirth Mon 15-Oct-12 15:31:34

Oh dear, I let my husband travel just 2 hours north of aberdeen 3 weeks before our 1st child's due date simply because I thought I knew first babies are generally late...I was wrong! X

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