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Paternity leave

(16 Posts)
datingthedevil Sat 13-Oct-12 22:55:10

Hi all,

This might sound a bit nasty and spiteful so apologies in advance. I was wondering if my ex has to provide anything in order to get his paternity leave from his employer. He has washed his hands of me and our son (due December) so I don't want him to benefit in any way from his arrival. It just seems wrong that he won't even acknowledge the baby yet will happily take leave. It's just not right.

I'm not a bitch, I'm just frustrated and angry.


FatimaLovesBread Sat 13-Oct-12 22:59:43

We've had to had in a copy of my MAT B1 form to DHs employers to prove I'm pregnant and the due date. He hasn't been with them long enough to qualify for leave with pay but can take unpaid

MB34 Sat 13-Oct-12 22:59:51

I don't know if it's the same for all employers but my DH had to give his employers my MATB1 form.

I would assume they would need some kind of official letter/statement otherwise any man could go to his employers and ask for pat leave!


MrsBungleBear Sat 13-Oct-12 23:01:26

When my DH took his, his employers didn't ask for anything. I suppose it depends on what individual employers policies about it are.

ThreeWheelsGood Sat 13-Oct-12 23:57:50

It'll depend on the company - my DH hasn't had to offer proof. But it's hardly a great benefit, effectively just two weeks off on reduced pay.

flossy101 Sat 13-Oct-12 23:59:44

My DH had to provide a copy of my MATB1 form, he works for a large company so it may depend on his employer but I would have thought bigger companies would ask for proof.

If he isn't going to have contact with your LO he shouldn't receive paternity leave.

flossy101 Sun 14-Oct-12 00:01:13

P.s my DH gets enhanced paternity of 3 weeks full pay so maybe that's why need proof

scandy Sun 14-Oct-12 00:04:53

Mine didn't have to prove anything, just told them when I am due and they gave him a letter to confirm that he is fine to take leave after the birth.

DarcyRhone Sun 14-Oct-12 01:11:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockchick1984 Sun 14-Oct-12 11:54:59

DH had to show a copy of my MatB1 to his employer. Personally I would be emailing his work / writing in to them to say he isn't supporting you or having contact with your child so any paternity leave they grant will not be spent with you. That way if they choose to give him the time, it's up to them. But I'm a bit of a cow at times, and wouldn't want him getting away with it smile

datingthedevil Sun 14-Oct-12 21:56:30

Thank you all, ESP rockchick.

Your suggestion of emailing his boss is a good one and something I've been thinking of myself. I think the dear ex is also claiming to be sick with stress so he's not working. I think he's angling to be perm signed off to avoid paying me Csa (he has previously told me if I claim Csa he will quit work so I won't 'get my grubby hands on any money').

I used to work at the same company as him so know who to email etc. My only concern is he is so nasty and spiteful and being the typical abusive man will have told the boss all sorts of things to discredit me - eg that I'm crazy, I abused him and that's why he's off sick with stress. (The truth being they have made him work way too far from where he lives with his mum and he can't be arsed to do the drive and would rather stay at home with his mummy, smoking, bitching about me and getting bitty). Ahem. Sorry about that. I'm just still bitter and angry!

Many thanks again. I'll go compose an email to his boss now and try to make it nice and professional and not accidentally tell them that he sold hundreds of pounds of stuff pinched from work to scrap metal dealers. Oops my poor big mouth grin C xxxx

datingthedevil Mon 15-Oct-12 00:22:27

I meant to say, how the hell do you write to your ex employer saying your ex is an abusive twat who is faking stress in the hope of quitting work to avoid CSA and has abandoned us so shouldn't get paternity leave?!

NewNames Mon 15-Oct-12 00:25:10

You're going to email his work? What? No!

Get on with your life and leave him to it. Really.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 15-Oct-12 00:28:17

Wouldnt that be counter productive if he got fired and had less money for CSA?

NewNames Mon 15-Oct-12 00:32:06

If you email the boss you will look crazy.

And nasty and spiteful and all of the other things you have said you aren't.

Sleep on it for a few years.

It sounds crap but why make things worse? Be the bigger person for the sake of your poor kid.

scandy Mon 15-Oct-12 01:01:32

Yes, seriously just forget about him. He seems to just inspire negative thoughts and anger in you. Focus on the positive instead, the amazing little baby you will soon be able to hold in your arms and cuddle. Your ex isn't worth wasting energy and emotion on, and if he turns you in to a nasty vindictive person, he has won. Surround your baby with your love and happiness instead. smile

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