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Need reassurance - 39+2 and scared

(12 Posts)
Orenishii Thu 11-Oct-12 20:53:44

Someone please reassure me it's all lovely once they are here sad I've suddenly today been having these freak outs that I've made a massive mistake. I know it's hormonal and I can intellectualise that I just don't know what's to come, and I'm not good with change, and that I just don't know how amazing a baby will be...

But my emotions are all over the place and I feel like DH is also quietly freaking out, waiting - I'm due on Tuesday so it's getting so close. This is our first...we don't know what's to come and it's not even the hard stuff, it's the massive change and oh god - there will actually be a baby!

Help me figure this out, please sad

Oh love sad It is a bit scary isn't it? But once they're here, despite the lack of sleep and the crazy hormones, yep hormones will still cause havoc wink Everything will be fine, I promise! You'll soon not remember what it was like when it was just the two of you. And mumsnet is here if you have any questions about breastfeeding or sleep.

Have you got a friend or your Mum to stay for the first week?

Have you joined an antenatal group on here? That helps as you're all in the same boat.

DinosaurSchool Thu 11-Oct-12 20:59:52

It will be amazing and it will be awful! You'll have great moments and terrible moments. I looked at ds1 when he was a few days old and just wanted someone to take him away, I wanted my old life back and to go to work (which I'd hated confused).
It did get better, I now have 3 dc's and sometimes I could burst with love for each of them.

It's good that you're aware of how you're feeling. Use friends to support you. It's a rare parent IME who doesn't have wobbly moments of doubt. And of course use mumsnet wink

Remember, you are clueless but the baby doesn't know that! As far as he/she is concerned you're the experts.

Good luck!

oddslippers Thu 11-Oct-12 21:00:51

You are going to have a baby, it will be your baby no one elses. It won't come with an instruction manual because you have that instinctively. Do what you feel is best, listen to the advise of others but remember no one else will know your baby as well as you do and the choices you make will be the right choices for your family. It is exhausting, frustrating, emotional but above all rewarding. Enjoy smile

Alitoomanykids Thu 11-Oct-12 21:03:51

It's lovely, it's exciting, it's terrifying and it's entirely normal to be anxious. It's a wonderful journey that awaits you and your husband.... Baby's are remarkably adaptable and robust and you will find your own path in parenting. Try to relax and enjoy it, its all good (even the shitty bits)!

mummy2benji Thu 11-Oct-12 21:04:15

I think it is entirely normal to panic a bit before baby arrives - no-one ever feels quite prepared for what might lie ahead and it is fear of the unknown. Also, nothing can prepare you for how amazing it is to finally meet that tiny little person that you have been growing inside you for 9 months! I didn't sleep a wink that first night in hospital, even though ds did - I spent the whole night gazing at him in wonder and thinking "wow, that's my baby!" I was scared the first time I gave him a bath, and the first time I cut his tiny nails - that I might accidentally submerge him or snip his finger - but something innate comes to the fore and even if you've never felt comfortable holding other people's babies, when it is your own baby you know instinctively that you could never drop them and they are perfectly safe in your arms. Don't worry - how you are feeling is perfectly natural, but you will see that it is all worthwhile and having the baby will be the most incredible experience of your life! hugs

Orenishii Thu 11-Oct-12 21:20:06

Oh you lovely ladies. I just...no matter how much I tell myself these things, I can't feel them yet...precisely because no one can imagine how it will be, I suppose.

I want to feel so excited but I think the apprehension of waiting is getting to me now. I just want to know what it's like and I can't until they come smile i read on here about baby snuggles and stuff, and just can't imagine...

Alitoomanykids Thu 11-Oct-12 21:30:34

yup, can relate to that. I was terrified of baby's when pregnant with my first. It took me at least 7 months to get over the shock of being pregnant and I wouldn't even speak to other new mums in case they tried to give me a baby to hold smile. Its all different when your own wee bundle arrives.... and then the next one... and the next!

mummy2benji Thu 11-Oct-12 21:33:22

Yes it is impossible to imagine! I've done it before with ds but it still feels surreal to me at this point too! (37+5) After carrying bubs for such a long time you get used to them as being "the bump" but it is hard to associate them with being "baby" too. When they come out though and you get to look at them and hold them for the first time, you get this feeling of "ah yes, it's you!" It's awesome, trust me! smile x

Naisy Thu 11-Oct-12 21:39:38

At home with my 14 day old son and no one could have ever described to me in advance of what a wonderful, overwhelming and positive experience becoming a mother is. I am consumed with love for the little man in a way I didn't think (feel) was possible 15 days ago.

Relax - it will be awesome!

pinpan Fri 12-Oct-12 03:35:03

Just wanted to say, don't worry! It will be hard the first few days or weeks, and you're absolutely normal whether you feel a rush of adoring love straight away or just overwhelming relief! I knew, rather than felt, that I loved my little one, we had a rough first few days, but remember that just as you are learning to be parents (and you are recovering from birth), he/she is also learning to be on the outside, so it's a big adjustment for everyone. Every day will bring challenges and victories (regaining hair brushing, check!) and suddenly you'll realise that weeks have gone by and just thinking about your little one makes you smile, even if you're wiping up spilled milk yet again... My womble will be 3 weeks on Sunday, and she's the best. Just make sure all visitors bring food with them! grin

whatsonyourplate Fri 12-Oct-12 08:00:44

Just wanted to say hi as I'm due the same day as you. This is my third, and I can't get my head round what it will be like having three children rather than two, and having a baby in the house again (my other two are 4 and 8). But I can remember the day my DS was due, my partner and I sitting there saying 'OMG what have we done?!', but when he finally arrived (two weeks late) it was as if we had always known him.

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