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Just found out... help?

(9 Posts)
Turtle93 Wed 10-Oct-12 00:36:03

Hi, I had a ONS in August and I have just found out today I am pregnant. I'm making an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow, but I'm really freaking out. I've just started uni, and I've spent the day looking into whether I could continue at uni with a baby and it seems very possible. I am mainly worried about telling the father, who is a very good friend of mine, we have known each other for years. I'm also worried about telling my parents, my mum especially as she is always saying having a baby at my age (19) would ruin my life, yet I can't even bring myself to consider an abortion, I don't think I could live with it. Plus the idea of having a child, while terrifying, is quite exciting. I guess really I'm just looking for advice, has anyone else been in similar situations where pregnancy has affected their family relationships or education?

Turtle93 Wed 10-Oct-12 01:13:42


Jojoba1986 Wed 10-Oct-12 01:24:43

I don't have any experience myself but I didn't want to just abandon you!

If you can't bring yourself to consider abortion then don't. Go see the doctor tomorrow but maybe give yourself time to get your head around it. Your uni will have people you can chat to who can tell you what support they offer to parents.

Get your own head straight before you involve anyone else! You've got time before anyone else needs to know! Just FYI though, if you were my daughter I'd really want to be there to support you!

MrsHoarder Wed 10-Oct-12 01:38:01

Firstly, calm down. Tomorrow talk to the go about counselling as well as vitamins etc. A baby may not be ideal, but its not the worst thing that could happen either.

Talk to your mum too. A real pregnancy is different to trying to scare you into tripling up on contraception. If you have the baby you'll have to tell her sometime.

I'd also make rough plans of how life will pan out each way, and how you would feed/house a baby/child. Talk to student support and find out how much help you might get, and consider whether you want to finish your degree. I'm returning to my post grad degree soon, and even with the full financial, practical and emotional support of my dh, juggling baby and studies will be hard.

MrsHoarder Wed 10-Oct-12 01:44:03

And as it was a ons, there are two things to consider:

1. Can you cope with all the demands of parenting alone? There is likely to be no one else to hand the baby to at 3 am when you can no longer cope.

2. Could you face having the rest of your life linked to the guy in question if you tell him and he steps up to his responsibilities? Because even as a single patent he should be at all the major events of your dc's life.

Hey! I fell pregnant at 17 I was only with my 24 year old partner 3 weeks we was seeing each other on and off before for about 6months. My family were very supportive so it was easy for me smile. I'm still with my partner now and it will be a year tomorrow. Don't worry about it if you don't want an abortion make sure no one talks you into it because at the end of the day It's your body that is effected by the choice:-). I ended up loosing my baby boy Riley at 23 weeks due to infection and weak cervix in April, I then miscarried at 7 weeks in mid august... its affected my body a lot I weigh 8 stone and im 5"8. It keeps dropping off me.

Just sit back, relax and enjoy your pregnancy :-) how many weeks are you?

panicnotanymore Wed 10-Oct-12 13:20:21

If you want to keep the baby, you must keep him/her. You'll cope, we all cope. Termination is a bigger deal for some of us than others - I considered it, and I just couldn't. My friend had one at 19 and it hasn't affected her at all. We're all different, and the only thing that is relevant to you is what is right for you. Good luck

cookiewuk Wed 10-Oct-12 14:53:11

Hi i got pregnant with my ds when i was 18 and had only been with my partner for about 6 months. I can honestly say it well and truly changed my life, i went from working full time (as a temp) and partying my life away to being so tired through the pregnancy that i came home from work and went straight to bed! Then when baby arrives there is the constant care and attention that they require and having to stay home while your friends are out having fun. I was a single parent by the time he was 6 months old which brings difficulties in itself but i actually enjoyed. Although this may sound negative it really isn't. My son is my world and i would change anything. I just want you to consider all the implications. smile

StateofConfusion Wed 10-Oct-12 15:01:22

I had my ds at 18, he's 5 now its been bloody hard work but that's because me and his Dad went on to have our dd when he was 16 months old, don't do that and you'll be fine grin anyway it can't be that bad as I'm 30wks with our 3rd and final.

Get to a gp and get put on the midwife lists and start taking folic acid.

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