How have I put 3 stone on??

[Sastra]

I'm currently 37+4 and after weighing myself today I know I've put on nearly 3 stone. Obviously, I've been eating a bit more and due to being nauseous all the way through I've not been running as was my want pre-pregnancy.

What I don't understand is I don't understand where the weight is..I've def put some on my thighs and bum, but everyone comments on how small I look. Last scan at 33 weeks showed baby was dead on average in all areas. I've got a bit of swellinh in fingers and toes. Otherwise I just look like myself?

Am I being delusional? Am I blind and my friends being kind? Why am I so heavy??

[elvislives2012]

Yup am exactly the same! 38+5 and put on the same and everyone keeps saying I don't look like I've put any on at all. I know I've put on a bit round my bottom and thighs (I call this my breast feeding weight). I guess the rest is baby, fluid and placenta.
Apparently you should put on between 2.5-3 stone if your weight was ok beforehand.
The MW also told me my BMI. Why???!!!!! It wasn't nice

[FireOverBabylon]

It's baby - the minimum you're supposed to put on is 2 stone - which is baby, fat deposits, fluid etc. So you've actually only put a stone on. Does that make it seem a bit less bad?

[Sastra]

Actually, yeah. I can see how I've put a stone on, rather than three - I was ten stone before, so I can see how excluding bump I'd be 11. Despite what people say my thighs and bum are definitely bigger, and it's been a very long time since i did proper exercise.

That makes a lot of sense! Thank you!

Oh, and why would your midwife tell you your BMi?? It's not relevant or helpful! Cow!

[elvislives2012]

I know!!!! It only served to send me to the biscuit barrel

[Orenishii]

I got really annoyed with my MW about my BMI - it's always been on the high side because I was muscular, did a lot of muscular/strength work before pregnant - and I'm short! I never put much stock in it - if she had worked out my actual body fat, fair do's - but she literally just took my height and weight. It was a potential fly in the ointment of having a home birth and I got very upset!

I think I've put on about 2.5 stone - maybe 3. I am not too concerned I don't plan on eating my own body weight in cake during breastfeeding so it's good. Don't worry about it - I decided all bets were off during my pregnancy and I'd figure it out after having the baby. As long as I wasn't at risk of GD, I just ate sensibly and what I could stomach :)

[WildRumpus]

With my first and third babies I came out of hospital almost exactly 2 stone lighter than I went in. (forgot to check with %232). Baby + placenta + fluids and other gubbins. The other stone is what I think of as breastfeeding weight. Strangely distributed across bottom, thighs, tummy and even arms (as well as boobs). I have found that I retain at least 1/2 stone extra while bf. As soon as I stop bf I get the night sweats as my body shifts remaining fluid. Or at least that's what happened first two times. We'll have to wait & see if it works this time...

[whatsoever]

I've put on 2 3/4 stone but I have eaten like a pig and deserve every ounce of it. Weirdly almost all of my clothes are still my pre-pregnancy 14s, or maternity 14s I've worn throughout. Only because they're stretchy though I bet. I have a double chin now and my thighs rub together when I walk - my friends who've had babies recently have assured me that the "fluidy" kind of weight goes pretty quickly post-birth through a combination of constant weeing and intense sweating

I strongly suspect post-birth I'll need to buy a couple of pairs of jeans or trousers in a 16 or 18 to see me through until I can face dieting post-Christmas (giving myself until New Year to do anything about the baby weight).

[stowsettler]

Orenishii, I'm in the same boat. My BMI was 30 at an appt at 13weeks, after eating for Wales for the previous 9 weeks. I was (still am, really) very fit, loads of running, gym, aerobics, weight training etc and even though I was a size 10-12, my BMI was always about 27-28. Any idiot could see that I wasn't overweight. Can't wait to get back to some proper exercise.

[Orenishii]

This article just about sums up my opinion of the BMI calculator: Your BMI - is it fat or muscle?

Pre pregnancy I was doing Crossfit and Olympic weightlifting. I had a waist of 26 inches but with a massive muscular rump from the lifting I had a BMI of 28 and any fool could see I was not overweight yet by the BMI calculation, for my height, I was bordering on obese!

Like I said, if she had actually calculated body fat versus an arbitrary combination of height x weight, it wouldn't have bothered me so much!

[halloweeneyqueeney]

I put on over 4 stone with my first, my legs and arms stayed slim looking when pregnant and I measured bang on not big, noone said I looked big. The excessive weight gain was only noticible after the birth.

Its not too late to keep tabs on it so you don't gain too much extra in the last month, gentle swimming/walking and whole foods.

Look the thing is that noone likes to say it, I expressed my concerns about gaining too much again with no2 to my MW and she pooh-poohed me, friends and colleagues are like feeders who tell me off for "dieting" if I bring healthy foods to work rather than tucking into the cake (someone brings cake or sweets pretty much every day), but honestly the extra weight made life with a newborn so much harder, lugging myself around as well as a limp baby that was getting heavier every day, plus pushing a buggy laden down with change bags etc, because my body (and my back) was struggling with the extra weight I couldn't get alone with any slings.

It probably contributed to a crappy birth too, I don't understand why in this country we are encouraged so much to sit on our ass and eat crap in the run up to labour - who'ld do that if they were training for a marathon?

[halloweeneyqueeney]

I think its so normal to gain excessive weight alongside a pregnancy in this country that people look at you like you have 2 heads or are some sort of baby starver if you express any concern about whether you are gaining too much!

[BettyandDon]

I totally agree with Halloweeny...

I put on way too much with DD1 and had to lose 2.5 stone after baby was long out. I'm 5ft 1 and my BMi was 31! Was a total nightmare - took me 18 months of low carbing. My concerns were ignored by my MW too.

This time, I'm now 8 months. I think I have not quite gained as much but I am still concerned. My butt is enourmous and I have cellulite all over the top halfs of my legs :(. I didnt record my weight gain the first time so have nothing to compare to at this stage.

Couldnt BF DD1 which didnt help with the weight loss. So many women try and are not able to BF for a long time and I think this makes it harder to get the weight off.

[Orenishii]

Completely agree - I've not subscribed to the eating for two fallacy, I've not used my pregnancy as an excuse to indulge, and I've not really changed my eating habits from pre-pregnancy - which were Paleo: no processed, refined carbs such as bread and pasta, no wheats, cereals or oats and very, very little in the way of "indulgences". I've had the occasional slice of cake but nothing to write home about. Those people that can't you can't cut out "carbs" in pregnancy clearly don't understand what a carb is - I've had plenty of "carb" from sweet potatoes, broccoli, butternut squash etc.

Yet I've still gained 2 - 2.5 stone, but I'm not worrying about it because I know I haven't gone crazy on the eating. I spent the entire summer just eating salads and fish, and got most of my sugar from fruit. The conversation about weight gain in this country is difficult to have because people don't want to be told they're eating crap. Everyone knows, deep down, when they're eating badly and consistently badly.

My only issue is with the BMI measurement. I truly think it's a load of BS and is meaningless.

[halloweeneyqueeney]

I have some american pregnancy apps on my phone which seem much more balanced, they say things like " don't worry if you've gained between X and Y lbs by now" but also do talk a lot about not eating for two and eating healthily and there's a lot about the benefits of exercise on there.

I am definitely more active this time so hope that helps, last time I was scared to to anything but aquanatal and gave up the gym and anything physical at work etc, which was the wrong approach, you need your strength and energy for labour and life with a newborn

[MsElisaDay]

As Halloweeny and Orenishii quite rightly point out, it's difficult to talk about weight gain in pregnancy because so many people seem to think it's "normal" to put on way more than the recommended amounts.
The recommended amount to gain is actually between 25lb and 35lb for someone who's a normal weight to start with - ie between 1st 11lb and 2st 7lb. Not, as someone says above, a gain of between two-and-a-half and three stones.

At 37 weeks, I've gained just below two stone, which I feel is a little too much for me.
The bump is measuring on the big side, but if I'm honest with myself I can see the weight is not all bump. I put my pre-pregnancy jeans on the other day and, of course they're inches away from fastening, but they're also much tighter than they were on the legs and bum.
I've put on a bit of weight all over, which I know is normal and is the body laying down fat for breastfeeding, but I think I'll definitely look podgy once the bump's gone.

I know why I've put on weight, too. I'm eating more cake than I ever have in my life, because I'm craving refined sugar and "bad" carbohydrates. I also haven't exercised as much as I could have done, and wish I'd made more effort in the second trimester, when I was feeling pretty much normal, to stay more active.
I'm not beating myself up about this or overly worrying about it - I'm just being honest with myself. Nobody else is going to be honest with me and say "yep, Elisa, your face is looking a bit chubby", are they?
As others have said, it's quite the opposite. People seem to want to force cake and chocolate down me at every given opportunity, and raise their eyebrows if I'm seen to be eating healthily.

People's idea of an "acceptable" weight gain has changed within just the last generation. My mum gained 2 1/2 stone when she was pregnant with me, going from around 9 1/2st to 12 stone. The midwives in the early 80s were horrified at this weight gain and were apparently testing her for gestational diabetes, telling her to cut back on what she was eating, and warning her that she'd have it all to lose afterwards.
Thirty years on, however, 2 1/2 stone is seen as an average weight gain in this country.

It's up to everyone individually, but personally I'd be happier if I gained enough weight to grow a strong and healthy baby, not so much that I'm still overweight, struggling and out of breath once they're weeks and even months old.

[halloweeneyqueeney]

and if you're overweight already I think its recommended that you just MAINTAIN your weight and don't necessarily gain at all??

I HATE the implication that worry over weight gain in pregnancy is about vanity, IT IS NOT!!
I know I'll look rough at times with a new baby, whether I'm thin or fat, I can cope with that. My hair will at times be greasy or unbrushed, sometimes I'll open the door in my PJs when really I should have been dressed hours ago...
&
I know I'll lose it once I stop BFing, I was my pre preg no1 weight when I conceived no2

the real reasons I worry are:

1. If you are gaining too much then something is out of balance, either you're eating badly or not doing enough activity, for the baby's health and its lifelong outcomes this is worth redressing
   
2. I am attempting a vbac, I want to be in good shape to help this to happen, I was not in good enough shape for labour last time
   
3. I will have a newborn and a preschooler to look after, I want to be up to the job and not struggling with a bad back because my frame can't handle the weight

[halloweeneyqueeney]

oh and 4. because if I don't worry about it, noone else will, my midwife with no.1 never once commented on the fact that I was gaining over TWICE what you should.

it seems that if you start out with a high BMI then they do look after that side of things and advise you on weight etc, but if you start off with a healthy BMI they don't care how much you gain, which IMO is wrong!

[Sastra]

I hear what you're saying. It's something I'm sensitive about as I've had an eating disorder in the past. I really don't want to end up in the throws of a depression post-partum due to my body

[whatsoever]

Everyone needs to do what's best for them. Worrying about weight gain wouldn't have been much fun for me, I've enjoyed the excuse to pig out. And frankly if being careful still gives a 2 stone weight gain compared to me eating everything in sight & putting on 2 3/4 stone, I think I've come off with a reasonable compromise.

I'm starting weight watchers in January and I know from history, I can get the weight off that way. Plus I've barely been able to exercise during my pregnancy due to trapped nerves in my legs and latterly pelvic pain. I'm so looking forward to the simple pleasure of going for a walk without being in agony.