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Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:26

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

eagleray Wed 09-Jan-13 11:18:24

Back home now! Thanks for all your kind words.

Sweep went ok - it was interesting as it's the first time I've had any information about what is happening 'up there' - apparently cervix is soft and ripe and 'left sided anterior' and baby is very low. I think all in all it means that things are definitely progressing, and the attempt at a sweep may be enough to get things moving.

Somewhere - grin at your take on DP and his bloody cough! His lack of enquiry after me is a bit of an issue in our relationship - but the way he sees it, he doesn't feel the need to ask as he knows I will contact him if there is a problem. And he probably thought I would be pleased for the update on his cough as he knows I was concerned about it. So his approach makes perfect sense even if he comes across as a total dick in the process

The rolls sound lovely - I have got my feet up already and will put in an order for one!

Knicky - that's very encouraging to hear about the sweep you had, although I won't be too disappointed if things don't progress today as it all seems to be getting close to kicking off anyway. I haven't had any pains yet, but am in comfy clothes and propped up on velvet feather cushions watching all the usual daytime telly crap. I will keep an eye out for pains later on - was thinking about going out for a walk this afternoon as it's a lovely sunny day but maybe I won't wander too far...

BadMissM - I have heard of fibromyalgia before as used to work in health many years ago - from what I can recall, it is one of those things that can play havoc with your life but is very hard to diagnose. Poor you sad

Scarecrow - that's a very lovely thing to say about my potential mummy skills! All I can hope really is that she likes me and doesn't mind being taken on a few little adventures!

BBD - great news that Anastasia has been sleeping so well. Enjoy the giant boobies!

BadMissM Wed 09-Jan-13 11:27:46

Somewhere have suffered from insomnia from very beginning of pg. Not helped by coming off of lots of meds at BFP. Last night particularly bad. Bed at 10.30, no sleep til 5.00, then had to be up at 8.00 for stupid delivery which might or might not come....

knicky It has been hideous...never had with DD. Already had the Restless Leg Syndrome before the pg. Couldn't even watch boring TV as the Youview box went kaput after 2 weeks (that is stupid delivery had to get up for.

Am back at the FMC on Monday, so am going to ask them to have a closer look at the cyst on Monday (as NHS not bothered). Am also going to ask consultant on Thursday if can be referred to Pregnancy Physio as half the time is pain which is keeping me awake. Consultant is the one that specialises in people with existing health conditions....

BBD Owch, boobs sound sore!

eagleray I'm sure it will happen when it wants to...just hang on in there!

scarecrow Know the feeling, when I was at work, was in 2 jobs, with much longer commute and major wage-earner as well...

I'm the eldest, but only have a brother 10 years younger (not speaking to me along with the rest of my family). Did however go to girls' schools until 18 (!)
Would have been nice to have some family support, but TBH even when they did speak it was grudging and patchy even with DD... My mother? Think Miranda's, but more spiteful....

Feel lots less isolated than I did last time though, as all my BFs around here are younger than me, and have all had LOs in the last 2 years, so have a lot of people to ask! smile

BadMissM Wed 09-Jan-13 11:30:50

eagle posted at same time...! Glad to hear that it's going on naturally, as it were.... hope sweep goes well!

It doesn't help that when finally got referred to Pain Clinic, which took 2 + years, saw the consultant who doesn't believe in back to square one.

knickyknocks Wed 09-Jan-13 12:07:54

eagle that all sounds very promising! Soft and ripe are the words that you need when it comes to whether a sweep may be successful. Seem to recall they used the words soft and ripe with me too. Don't wander too far from home grin.
badmissm good plan to try and get referred to physio - it's just not fair that you are being kept up with this pain. Hugs my love. There's nothing worse than pain and sleepless nights sad.
somewhere fresh warm wholemeal rolls definitely appreciated! I've become ravenous again so if there's cake to follow (coffee and walnut please) I'll bag myself a slice or three.

eagleray Wed 09-Jan-13 12:18:11

Thanks for encouraging info Knicky! The MW likened it to a soft and ripe fruit hanging from a tree, with the sweeps being a gentle poke which might persuade it to fall from the tree. Still feeling slightly lazy so won't walk far this afternoon.

Funnily enough, I have a lunch in my fridge which I bought yesterday from the local deli (and had actually forgotten about til just now) - wholemeal roll covered in seeds filled with veg burger and salad, with a lovely slice of coffee and walnut cake for after! If only there was a way of sharing and distributing my lovely food...

Just had an email from DP, containing in-depth information about his health etc but no enquiry as to me! Have replied thanking him for the info and reminded him that if he wants to know how I am he only has to ask. Normally I am fine with his slightly thoughtless, social skill-lacking approach but right now it would be great if he could show a little interest and concern angry

scarecrow22 Wed 09-Jan-13 12:47:23

Hot roll for me too please somewhere, perfect for a sneaky lunch break (cafe at work onion soup and all white bread today - yuk) Can I have some real butter and a big steaming mug if red soup please?

eagle can I have a grin at DH? When mine had that flu last year and groaned all night, he said one morning "poor DD I really hope she doesn't get this...she'll never survive" worries about his OT pregnant wife though! I would have thought of DD before me, but he cd at least pretend. My situation bit complicated because as part of persuasion campaign I blithely brushed off his concern about how I wd cope with demanding job and two LOs by saying "oh I'll cope, don't you worry". To be fair he is more supportive than I feared!

Meanwhile wil have to keep powdering my nose to check eagle's progress! Will baby eagle be "eaglet"?!

BadMissM Wed 09-Jan-13 13:00:24

knicky Could have dealt with it better if the stupid Youview was working..bah, technology! Thanks for the hugs, and I will be firm about the physio!!

eagle whilst DH does forget I exist do thoughtless sometimes, most of the time he's very good about health, in fact atm he is treating me like I am made of cotton wool. He did spend first few weeks of pg in an absolute grump though, til I finally wheedled out of him that he was afraid of 'losing me'. Did tell him I didn't want to go anywhere or put myself in stupidly risky situations and he calmed down...

scarecrow poor you! "passes over some of her tomato, basil, and creme fraiche soup"

eagleray Wed 09-Jan-13 15:31:31

Aw BadMissM - your DH sounds very sweet - I guess they all have trouble communicating their innermost thoughts at times...

Scarecrow - good to see that actions speak louder than words with your DH. I identify with your persuasion campaign as, erm, did a bit of that myself. In the early stages of pregnancy, whenever I complained of anything the response I got was "but this is what you wanted" hmm

Funny you mention the Eagle thing as been thinking about that quite a bit recently. Baby Eagle was conceived on a tiny tropical island, the surrounding waters of which are the home of the spotted eagle ray (aka Mr Ray, one of the fish in Finding Nemo!) We had a little hut on stilts out over the water, and for a few days running, one of these rays swam right up to our little hut and we jumped in and had a swim with it! They are incredibly graceful creatures, although do have a bit of a naughty streak as can do a great shark impression by sticking a wingtip up out of the water to make that well-known triangular shape.

Meanwhile, no action here. MW said to go for a walk but frankly couldn't be arsed, so have been for a little drive in the country instead, just to get myself out of the house. Car plastered in mud now and I feel like I've done something today, other than let the laptop burn holes in my thighs...

BadMissM Wed 09-Jan-13 16:32:46

Eagleray It's about time, DH1 was a complete arse of a violent alcoholic, and inbetween managed two bfs both psycho in different ways, so is a lovely and blessed relief to have lovely DH2 after years of struggling and nutters!!! I do appreciate it!!!

DD at age where she is looking at tattoos admiringly. I told her if she were ever to get one, she should have 'Fabrique en Bretagne' (Made in Brittany) with two little triskels at the bottom of her back old fashioned dolls used to have. She was conceived at ex-MILs freezing cold house in Brittany! smile

scarecrow22 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:51:14

I will not be joining you in the lounge tonight as would ruin the chill vibe: totally fed up by another long hard slog feeling undermined and undervalued by people who are all so fed up they barely communicate. That was work btw. And now all trains delayed so can't get home. I'm normally pretty positive but in no mood to jolly up. Enjoy the fire and chat. Will pop by later to see if any updates on the notice board outside the door, especially on eagle and somewhere's mum

<watery attempt at a smile>

eagleray Wed 09-Jan-13 23:10:38

Oh no Scarecrow so sorry you have had a sh1t day sad. I hope you are home by now and being cared for by your family.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you thanks

Not a squeak from me in terms of progress but managed to get a reasonable amount of housework done and also entertained a last-minute guest tonight (and fed them risotto!)

knickyknocks Thu 10-Jan-13 09:05:20

scarecrow do you work in my workplace too?? Your place sounds like mine, however, for me it's being undervalued and undermined mixed in with a nice undercurrent of bitchiness. It probably goes without saying but I can't wait to go on mat leave - my plan is to look for another job before the end of mat leave runs out. I'm so sorry to hear that you've got a similar working environment to mine thanks
eagle how are you feeling today? I seem to recall that I spent much of my time wondering whether things were starting off - and when things actually did get going I ignored it thinking I had it wrong. A few hours of contracting later when things had got stronger, it was only then that I realised I was in labour.
badmissm it sounds as if you were due a lovely wonderful hubby after given your ex -DH and boyfriends. Did you sleep any better last night? PS Love the idea of yours for the tattoo for your DD grin

Meanwhile in the lounge, I've got a two pots of filter coffee (caff and de-caff), a range of herbal teas and a plate of warm freshly baked croissants this morning, all served up by a waiter who looks and sounds like Matthew McConaughey.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 10-Jan-13 10:10:10

So sorry scarecrow and Knicky. What is wrong with workplaces? I want to write a book about it one day. Its why I'm freelance.

BADMISSM that's lovely re your dp.


scarecrow22 Thu 10-Jan-13 10:16:51

Was Matthew McConaughey "Tom" in Spooks? If so I might cheer up :-S Though Adam was pretty gorgeous too, in a slightly more tortured way...

Have just skivved off to pursue MSc as my Vol Redundo option. Knicky mine not bitchy but since NY I am now only female in room: there is however a lot of lumpiness as about to do (compulsory) redundancies so whole organisation a bit distracted. Think apart from pants week myself, and DD back to crying for cuddles with mummy 3x a night which fills me with longing and guilt because I've not seen her since 8am ish... What's really eating me is the total silence over my future. There are obviously lots of conversations going on but nobody flipping talks to me. Just one day and I'm off for weekend (I do Mon-Thur normally). Thanks for sympathy: undeserved compared to many other issues, but kind of you...

I think with Tom and fresh croissants and coffee I might just snap out if this soon ;)

If eagle has a baby I'll definitely cheer up... Loved the story of your holiday and the eagleray name - left a wonderful image in my mind smile

scarecrow22 Thu 10-Jan-13 10:19:00

Not lumpiness! But now can't remember what about to say...

Also starting to look at double buggies on eBay. Phil & Teds anyone? Do you know diff between 'Dash' and 'Sport' models?

eagleray Thu 10-Jan-13 12:06:39

Morning all

Didn't wake up til 10.30am today - think I needed the extra sleep! Not a hint of action either... ah well I am not due yet so there is still plenty of time.

BadmissM - the doll tattoo sounds really cute!

Knicky/Scarecrow - you have made me realise how good I had it where I worked. I am self employed, but was based in the same office the last few years before leaving at xmas. It is a huge office, 'corporate' environment but at the same time was pretty friendly and very easy to find people you had stuff in common with. This week I have had loads of people get in touch from work asking how I am and saying I'm missed - I've been very touched and every time someone gets in touch it means such a lot.

Today's plans include drinking lots of water (I am terrible for not drinking enough), going out with a friend and her angry toddler for a walk in the park and possibly a shopping trip later. Meanwhile, while writing this, my Moby wrap has arrived in the post - I might have a practice tying session later if I can persuade a soft toy to volunteer to model for me...

Hope you are all having a nice day, set off nicely with a coffee and croissants served up by the nice waiter...

knickyknocks Thu 10-Jan-13 12:09:33

scarecrow Not looking at double buggies, because DD will be too old (nearly 3.5 years old) by the time DS comes along. But, have got half day's annual leave today to go and get a few bits and pieces - buggy board, new changing bag and mat. Not fantastically exciting shopping but fairly essential stuff really.

We've just been through a department review at my place, a couple of redundancies and quite a few re-deployments to various other posts - mine included. Know about the hushed conversations though, it's a rotten time and incredibly unsettling. I don't think I came out better off - financially thankfully OK, but enjoyment wise I think I'm far worse off these days, hence the thought of getting something new. Plus, have been a victim of some bullying here in the past year which is a whole other story sad - and thank you somewhere for the sympathy, definitely much appreciated smile - I love the idea of being freelance and it's definitely something I'd look into.

Anyway, back to nicer topics - Matthew MacConaghey is a fairly old actor now - but has a southern american drawl which makes me go weak at the knees....

blueblackdye Thu 10-Jan-13 12:29:41

Scarecrow, have you looked at Baby Jogger City Select ? they can be double pushchair too. I don't own one but 2 friends of mine got rid of the P&T, tyres are not friendly, and got themselves Baby Jogger and love the new one.
Knicky, nice to hear you have a nice work environment, it is important. I have been made redundant when I announced my pg as my position has been transferred to Easter Europe.... Shame as I quite liked it, people were nice and job easy and well paid. Oh well !
Eagleray, nice sleep, enjoy your day, sounds lovely.
Had a god night sleep too, LO is very good, I am so blessed...

BadMissM Thu 10-Jan-13 14:00:50

scarecrow sounds like you work for my ex-employers. For those, and many other reasons, I've had to waste five years of my life taking them to an Employment Tribunal.... hugs xxx

I went to do M.A. after 16 years, was one of the best things I did. Would do PhD tomorrow if I wasn't so skint!

knicky Yay! Had some sleep! Am still exhausted as I'm playing catch-up.... As for DH, had to kiss a lot of frogs first! It's sad to see how many people are having issues at work. I wish now I could have walked away before things got too bad, but I was so obsessed with the idea of staying in work. Has also turned out ex-employers were blocking jobs I applied for by not sending any references...

Seriously, if you've been bullied, get out before someone does something to ruin your future (voice of experience here....)

eagleray still hanging in there? My office was vile, female-dominated, backbiting, point-scoring, you were spied upon constantly......have never worked anywhere so unpleasant in my life.

somewhere He's a treasure, and I really appreciate it!
If I could be freelance, I'd do it tomorrow!

BBD Must be lovely to work somewhere nice! Though not nice to be made redundant....

I haven't even looked at anything yet. Buggies, cots...has been so long since I had a LO. Anything I had for DD got left in France or passed on.... I'm really going to need the smallest lightest buggy because of the pain issues I have. I'm also a shortarse dwarf 5'2'' and petite, so am not going to be able to manhandle anything enormous or complicated, and I don't drive.... any ideas? smile

somewherebecomingrain Thu 10-Jan-13 14:50:14

Nice waiter... Could he be a hot waiter? Am
I out on a limb? Could he look
Like Colin Farrell?

Sorry for short replies I'm a bit il today xxx

scarecrow22 Thu 10-Jan-13 15:29:38

Matthew MacFadyen (or some similar spelling!) Perhaps we could have a waiter each? Or on a shift rota. I think I'm more in the mood for him than the Clive Owen look now I'm starting to nest smile

God a random craving for cherry pie with warm short crust pastry and fresh cream. Shall I rustle one up and bring it in for tea?

somewhere v sorry you poorly. Have come home to bed also but think more exhaustion and job-worry than illness. Take good care x

Normally I love work and do actually really like company and my colleagues. It's just my otherwise great immediate boss is super uncommunicative and everybody is uncharacteristically (though understandably) stressed by The goings on re job losses. If I was less shattered by the sleep issues/guilt that DD is waking and asking for cuddles/pregnancy and underlying worry about my future, I would handle it better. Will try and sleep lots this weekend and return invigorated on Monday! Sorry though for those with structurally awful employers - my previous company was like that and I too was bullied, though as so often in such situations I didn't realise for ages. I was given fantastic advice that was - if nothing else -to go in every morning, look the key person in the face and say good morning. It sounds unbelievable but it was genuinely the beginning of the end of the bullying.

See you for cherry pie and tea later x

scarecrow22 Thu 10-Jan-13 15:33:04

BadMiss have just spent valuable sleep time on the "products" section of "Talk", under pushchairs. Check but advice for petite people and/or bad backs (so I guess a pain issue) seems to be frequent, so you should find many recommendations. I'm 5'9" so petite is not an issue for me ;)

blueblackdye Thu 10-Jan-13 15:44:22

Badmiss, I am short too, 1.60m ! I was given by my sister a Bebe Confort pram, used it from birth to 4 months at my Mum's because she has a garden and a big entrance where I could leave it. Here in London I am in a flat so decided to go for Baby Jogger City Mini which is suitable from birth, but it is bigger than the McLaren XT which is also suitable from birth, MCLaren is lighter and cheaper. Re cot, I was given an Ikea one and bought a new mattress. Bath tub, got the cheapest from John Lewis, £9 and when LO will be able to sit, will use a support and bathe her in my bath, for DS1, I had a M&P aqua bath but it was so big and takes so much room and DS1 refused to get in it when he could sit up so sold it when he was 1. Don't have a changing unit either, I just sit on the floor or lie LO on a changing mat on my bed. I am being economical but also practical, don't want to clutter the flat with baby stuff that I won't use that much.

blueblackdye Thu 10-Jan-13 15:47:37

Somewhere, hope you will feel better soon.
Scarecrow, cherry pie, would love some !

blueblackdye Thu 10-Jan-13 15:52:15

Badmiss, check on mc laren xl or xlr, I can't remember exactly. And agee with scarecrow, the pushchair section has valuable advice, have a look !

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