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Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:26

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

eagleray Tue 01-Jan-13 01:32:33

Just home after a party (don't think I will be up early tomorrow somehow...)

Calibee - very very sorry about your scan - wishing you all the best for your blood tests.

BadMissM - good luck for your test results and glad it all went well today.

Happy New Year everyone - hope 2013 is good to you all x

somewherebecomingrain Tue 01-Jan-13 08:56:27

Calibee I'm so sorry I hope it turns out well as we have seen it can - its so hard.

Jbrd hope you are doing good! Keep us updated on your next scan.

Badmiss glad it went smoothly - not long now but it will probably seem like ages. I hope you can take your mind off things. I am sure result will put your mind at rest.

Eagle I can imagine you partying the night away with your tomcat ways!

A bit like my sis who went to a warehouse party on new years about a week before her due date and had to be escorted through the crowds by us as if she was a movie star in a paparazzi scrum. Whereas I just went for a meal on new year first time I was prego also due early jan and it nearly killed Me. In theory being only six months pregnant this time
I should have been much more on it but let's draw a discreet veil over that. Suffice it to say my dp had a good one.

Anyway happy new year everyone it is exciting and I hope it brings everyone good things and lovely babies


scarecrow22 Tue 01-Jan-13 10:45:26

Happy new year lovely people. in light of the long and uncertain journey ahead of us, I want to focus on our good fortune to have any dcs we have, dps who want to have children with us, and the health to hope for new LOs. I hope this year brings many happy times, love and friendship.

Went to bed not long before 3am and then slept on floor, literally, in DD's room as the softer option than actually resettling her from 3.50-6.11 (every minute matters here!) Was an extremely good night, especially as arranged 24 hours before, but I really am not cut out for that kind of sleep deprivation! Especially as meant to be working today, luckily from home (er, which is sort of what I'm doing now.... smile )

Chat soon, x

scarecrow22 Tue 01-Jan-13 13:34:15

To welcome new year, here is latest list of us fab 40+s. As before, excuse mistakes and omissions, and please reply with corrections. JBrd I want to add you back on: is that okay; if so send dates when ready. Or anybody else can copy list and amend and re-paste - I have no copyright!

PS can a few of you get on and have them there babies as I'm still more than half way down the list ;(

10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz

Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock, 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray, 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike, 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7 ELCS
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
CaliBee, 42, DC4 due Aug (1st DC for DP), with our hopes & support
Buzzbee, 40, DC2 due Sep?

JBrd Tue 01-Jan-13 21:36:54

scarecrow - thanks for wanting to put me back on the list, but maybe we need to wait a bit with that - not doing very well here at the moment sad Just a little while ago I passed what looked like a huge piece of fleshy tissue, bigger than a 50p piece - and now I am petrified it might have been my gestational sac... I'm also bleeding again now, not much, but it's red blood. The EPU is closed today (well, no one is picking up the phone), and couldn't reach my midwife either.

I feel just numb at the moment, it's almost too much. I just want to know is going on.

Will call the EPU first thing tomorrow and see what they suggest.

My booking appointment is tomorrow afternoon...

scarecrow22 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:42:46

Oh JBrd my heart goes out to you. Give yourself comfort and some love and decide to deal with whatever the news is tomorrow.
If it is good news you will not have used up too much emotional energy, if bad news you will have some reserves. It's no consolation now but if a baby is not right nature has the kindest ways, and you can be well and strong to welcome another bean which will become your LO into your life.
Thinking of you

BadMissM Wed 02-Jan-13 00:09:55

Oh, Jbrd Sending many hugs and kisses..... the hardest thing is not knowing what is going on... (crosses every extremity for you) xxx

knottyhair Wed 02-Jan-13 08:32:53

JBrd, I'm so sorry my love. Will be thinking of you today. Lots of love and I'm keeping everything crossed for you xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 02-Jan-13 09:56:23

jbrd so sorry to hear that. There is still hope as I've heard of all sorts of strange things going on and some babies are meant to be. But there is not much comfort at a time like this I know. Hoping you get an answer soon xxx

riversidelibrary Wed 02-Jan-13 17:11:42

jbrd thinking of you, and hoping for the best despite the scary symptoms. Hugs.

Calibee hope you are coping, waiting for test results is so hard.

It's good to see some people made it out on New Year's Eve and partied. DH and I managed an early meal out, delicious food (was naughty and had the cheese board too, absolutely gorgeous), but were home by 9pm. Forced myself to stay awake until midnight but then suffered for it afterwards!

I'm actually glad the holiday season is over, it's been too painful a reminder of missing Mum. Now I'm focusing on baby and keeping Dad involved and busy.

I'm 36 +2 days today. Baby is being very well behaved, positition has been LOA for the last month and his head is already 2/5 engaged. I think the head being engaged is what is giving me the odd painful twinges in my pelvis. Apart from that, and having to swap sides every hour in bed to avoid sore hips, I don't seem to be doing too badly. Oh, not forgetting of course the constant tiredness which goes without saying.

eagleray How are you doing this week? Not long now.

On a positive note one of the Mum's on the January thread is 44 and she gave birth yesterday by VB to a healthy little boy.

eagleray Wed 02-Jan-13 17:37:57

Oh gosh - I remember Complicated now - she was on this thread for a while (although it may have been the 40+ thread before this one) - great news that her little boy is safely here.

Sounds like you are doing great Riverside - these last few weeks are quite hard at times! I am enjoying this first day of normality - DP is back at work, no more Xmas visitors, overeating etc and I can start plodding through baby preparation tasks!

I spent yesterday plodding around a wetlands/bird park with all my camera gear - was great until I got a bit weary/achey and didn't want to walk any further. I must look huge as everyone seemed to be giving me horrified looks confused

Have got MW appt on Friday, with a possible sweep(!) although have no idea if I am physically ready for such things. The prospect of it has prompted me to get on with buying the last few baby things needed, and will get going with some cooking for the freezer tonight.

Jbrd - I hope you had some good news today. Either way, this worry/uncertainty has been going on for ages and I don't know how you have coped. Sending hugs and sympathy.

Right - off to do some cooking/decorating/bag packing/online shopping/babygro counting

scarecrow22 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:30:36

Phew thank Goodness that over: 4 days at work, alone when usually team of 8. Not so much busy, just don't like responsibility! Plus I fell asleep at my desk every day, today waking up mid topple sideways off my chair. Four days off now, so will try and nap when DD does.

Has anyone made new year's resolutions? I usually try to set goals of positive experiences or achievements I want to do- like make a tagine or watch a particular movie or ride a horse, whatever. Am unusually bereft of ideas this year. Just so taken up with DD's improving but continuing sleep issues, baby and long saga I've been sparing you all from about whether I have taken voluntary redundancy or not (I applied two mo ago as so sick not seeing DD but they finally offered to cut days, then management couldn't agree and I still don't know if it's the end of the only career I ever wanted (started with work experience 26 yrs ago) or I have a fab but more manageable job after maternity leave, plus - crucially as earn but more than half our income - salary too...) it is starting to eat me a bit. And I am - I almost hate to admit it - getting scared of coping with two and emotional about end of magical time with DD and having to share myself. Tell me I'm not the only one?!

Eagle and Riverside, so exciting you are making final preps. Eagle without wishing to sound like an old crone you really need nothing for a newborn except a few baby grows, some nappy kit (Sudocreme only game in town), cottonwool or sponge, basinette, cloths for blurping/swaddling/crying winkand milk. Bound to have missed something, but not much - really, when you need other stuff you can go get it - baby industry will try and guilt you into a complicated list but newborns v simple. So rest rest rest while you can! You could also freeze spare portions of food.
Also when DD born found fab company for custom madeattresses at 1/2 to 1/3 usual retail prices - was something like We had second hand corned and no mattress and saved us a fortune.

JBrd thinking of you heaps

scarecrow22 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:33:06

2nd hand cotbed that was

scarecrow22 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:34:53

And more tea and (long life) milk than you think an army can drink, if you are anything like me. Found v v comforting and helped hydration

BadMissM Wed 02-Jan-13 19:56:18

scarecrow Definitely the tea!!

eagleray Wed 02-Jan-13 20:17:24

Thanks for the list and link Scarecrow - I think I have got pretty much everything on the list apart from Sudocreme. Was in Boots the other day and wondering about bum stuff but wasn't sure what to buy and then I got tired of staring at baby products and gave up.

I have to confess to having a fair amount of kit but most of it is second hand, in fact I feel a bit guilty that the poor baby has virtually no new things! I funded all the kit out of selling stuff I no longer needed and hope to sell on things to raise cash for the next stage. I am not poor but want my time off work to last as long as possible and also enjoy the bargain hunting!

No new year's resolutions from me, although I do normally give the previous year and the upcoming one a bit of thought. I think I was just glad to survive the last year and imagine that this year I will have baby, drop the weight (or at least some of it), enjoy baby, find a job in the autumn and try and retain my sanity!

I think it's really common to feel guilt and sadness about existing DC when a new baby comes along (I have no personal experience but know it's been mentioned on this thread a lot before).

Sorry re your job dilemma - must be really hard when you have put so much into your career. How long do you have left before you start mat leave? I couldn't have worked another day by the time I finished!

scarecrow22 Wed 02-Jan-13 21:24:53

Bloomin' mothers guilt. There is Far too much of it. We should make out thread motto "Never Guilty" - or something more catchy or majestic; but a group vow!
I bought three new things for DD in first year: a mattress, and a pair of leggings and top when she pooed through both spare sets of clothes at my mum's one day. I never worried about it, because like you I wanted to maximise time with DD - and enjoyed the challenge too! Have to confess to having spent an increasing amount on eBay and in 2nd hand shops though as cant resist buying stuff for DD that I choose rather than always dress her in stuff others have chosen.

SudoCreme rocks for most nappy problems - or did for us. Metanium good in more extreme events (only had to crack that out 2-3 times). Not all babies same obvs, but I think most would agree. Also if you plan try BF, Lansinoh for nipples (sorry to get personal). In fact add that to my (now growing!) list..

If you can afford it consider hair cut (and a self done or pro manicure and pedicure) before due date too. Will keep you going through the weeks of crazy haired half dressed semi-life!

eagleray Wed 02-Jan-13 22:36:59

I've got the Lansinoh!

Funnily enough, was going to ring and book a haircut this week as although it's been in great condition and grown thicker, it is getting slightly tatty and needs a tidy up. And was planning a pedicure too, seeing as I can barely see my toes...

Once I had accumulated enough babygros I started looking at slightly older clothes on Ebay and seem to have a large bagful of trousers, dresses etc! I think I might be channelling my own clothing tastes through the baby clothes - she is going to have some awesome stuff to wear! may as well while she is too small to argue about what she wants to wear

JBrd Wed 02-Jan-13 23:23:49

Quick update - I'm v. tired, so please excuse that I won't name check. Thank you all for your supportive words and thoughts.

Sadly, the visit to the EPU confirmed my fears. I brought the tissue pieces with me because they wanted to take a look (yes, I had kept them, sorry if tmi), and although they have sent them to histology for analysis, they were certain that I am indeed having a miscarriage after all sad
They were lovely and kind and supportive, but I am gutted. It's a bit too much of a roller coaster at the moment! I had just started to believe that there might be a good outcome for this pregnancy... But it wasn't meant to be.

They were a bit worried about infection risk, so I'm now on antibiotics. No further action from their side (I thought I'd get another scan and/or blood test to confirm), the only follow up is that I need to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks.

riversidelibrary Thu 03-Jan-13 08:59:45

JBrd My heart goes out to you, you've had such a painful time thanks. I hope you can find time to look after yourself and let yourself grief for what wasn't to be. I'll keep my fingers tightly crossed that we'll see you here again this year with a fresh start and a straightforward pregnancy. hugs

eagleray Most impressed you managed to spend most of the day on your feet at the wetlands, I need a little sit down after half an hour these days! That fitness should be a big help when it comes to the birth.

scarecrow Hope you hear about your job soon, not knowing must be very disconcerting. No new New Year's resolutions for me, but I do have a running list of 50 things I want to do before 50, so I'll be trying to tick some of those off this year. I already have a voucher for the glider flight.

AFM I had a lovely night's sleep, two in a row now, and actually feel human this morning. LO kicking way happily too, so a good start to the day. Time to start working though that list of outstanding chores ... or maybe I'll go and have a soak in the bath grin

eagleray Thu 03-Jan-13 11:26:16

Jbrd - am so, so sorry. It's no wonder you are gutted, and you have been on such a rollercoaster ride, especially after they found the heartbeat recently. Please look after yourself and really, really hope to see you back on here soon.

Riverside - glad to hear you have had some restorative sleep! After feeling fine these last few days, I had a fairly bad night (pains, vivid dreams etc) and woke up today feeling nauseous and a bit odd confused Also had BH first thing, which is strange as they normally don't start til mid afternoon. Anyway, have done my hospital bag list while eating breakfast (been shamefully late with this) and am going to do a hypno session now then this afternoon will pack those bags!

knickyknocks Thu 03-Jan-13 12:23:26

jbrd I'm so sorry to have read about your loss. Having read through the last couple of pages of this thread I can see that you have really had a rollercoaster of a time. It must have been bloody awful. Hugs go out to you, please take care of yourself in the coming weeks and I hope that we see you again on this thread soon. Much love.

So sorry to the other ladies for my lengthy absence. Christmas has been manic with me single parenting my DD and looking after my 74 year old mum. DH has worked for the whole time, but did manage to see DD open her xmas presents this year - he said he was really busy on xmas day with neighbour disputes and domestics - ah the joy of peace and goodwill at xmas!
scarecrow great advice about sudocrem and metanium - we cracked out the metanium a couple of times and blimey it worked a treat!
eagle can't believe you've reached the packing the bag stage already! Time seems to be flying by on this thread! Sorry to hear about the bit of nausea though. Take things easy if you can please.

AFM, am feeling fine, a few achey twinges in my back. 30 weeks and counting and starting to feel the 3rd trimester tiredness kicking in - not helped with a dreadful night with DD last night. She told me she had a bad dream about her party being ruined and when I asked why, she said no-one came to it sad. So the vivid dreams continue - hope this stage finishes before mr man arrives - sleepless nights with a new born just about copeable - add in a restless 3 year old and I'm going to collapse! No new years resolutions for me. Going to get back into my fitness when baby arrives - can't wait to get back to being me again. The best news about returning to work is that I only have 6 more weeks of work left. And that feels flipping fantastic!

BadMissM Thu 03-Jan-13 13:14:52

Oh, JBrd, am so sorry to hear that. I know it has been an up and down ride, but sending much love and many hugs xxx I know how hard it is, and that words aren't going to do much at the moment, but thinking of you...

knicky You sound like you've been busy... I wish I could sleep too, can't remember the last 'normal' night's sleep I had...

Does anyone know anything about NCT ante-natal classes, and whether they are any good? DH did them with his ex, and he was looking to book them around here. Stupid site said 'register interest' giving no price. They've just come back at a staggering £196.00...which means they are way out of our reach.

The hospital ones are all on weekday afternoons, when DH won't be able to come, and they sound completely rubbish (and I'll have to spend a fortune in bus fares as they are in next town as well....)

Had no ante-natal classes at all with DD as boss was too mean to give me time off for them, and was going to do them in last couple of weeks, but she was so early never got a chance... and all of that was 14 years ago too...

Does anyone know of any other organisations that might do them? (Bearing in mind I live in the arse end of nowhere miles from anything?

knickyknocks Thu 03-Jan-13 13:27:10

badmissm I don't know of any other organisations - I did NCT with DD and got to say I do think it was worth the money - though remember thinking at the time it was bloody expensive. The best thing which came out of it was the support I had from the other ladies when DD first arrived. All the ladies had their partner or hubby attending with them. I did it as much to prepare DH for the birth of DD as he hadn't read anything at all about what was coming our way.
I did do the NHS classes aswell, and met a couple of ladies on that - they were OK, not brilliant, but were free. Ours were also in the afternoon and there were no partners or hubbies at my one either. They also did a tour of the maternity unity which most partners and hubbies did come to, but that's because at my local hospital they ran that on a weekend.

NCT do do meet ups called bumps and babies - these are free. You don't need to be a member to attend these meet ups and it gives you the chance to meet other ladies in your local area (which was probably my priority last time rather than gathering any information which I might need re the birth). HTH.

lotsofcheese Thu 03-Jan-13 13:35:50

JBrd I'm so, sorry to read your update, after everything you've been through it's so cruel. I used the miscarriage & pregnancy loss boards a lot after both m/c & found there was great support there too. Please take care of yourself & allow yourself time to recover, both physically & emotionally.

BadMiss when will you get your Harmony test results? I never had ante-natal classes 1st time as DS was very premature. I had booked in for nct ones - is that an option for you? This time, it looks like I'll be having a section again so I'm not going to bother.

I had my 20 week scan yesterday - all was well, so that's a big relief. I've started getting things for my hospital bag as DS was early & there's a fair possibility this one will be too.

Not feeling confident to buy baby stuff yet - have had a wee look in the shops for clothes but don't want to tempt fate.....

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