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Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:26

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

MrsWooster Thu 22-Nov-12 20:22:02

Yes. Or YEESSS if you ask DP. There has been the odd flourish but the whole idea of any bedroom shenanagins more lively than a swig of gaviscon and a couple of desultory goes at a suduko is dreadful. There must be some people out there who shag wildly all the way through pregnancy and having children under 5 but it certainly ain't me.

Hpbp Thu 22-Nov-12 20:48:35

Yes, Knicky, unfortunately yes, same as you. Too tired to feel attractive. Too stressed out to be able to relax and enjoy sex. A bit afraid sometimes that DH might check if the grass is not greener elsewhere, although he has never given any opportunity to me to doubt. But lets face it, how hard it must be for them to go from a happy balanced sex life to nothing ? It is hard enough for women and we bear the child. Too scared to give him bad ideas so never asked.

scarecrow22 Thu 22-Nov-12 23:01:34

Another night, another late train home. One more day on Sunday and then a week off...hurrah!!!
One thing I love about working is the ridiculous intense excitement I feel in Thursday at the prospect of a whole day with DD on Friday.

somewherebecomingrain Fri 23-Nov-12 17:34:02

hey people, i've done a whole lot of admin, started using the icloud to do list, and feeling most pleased with myself. this includes checking out maternity allowance - i am totally eligible and i can understand the form so that's really made my day.

is this the beginning of nesting?

knicky yes. Or rather no. We have tried and it's not exactly been a wild success. I cannot understand anyone finding me sexy. I don't find myself sexy. I don't find sex with me sexy. DP not very interested either. So I can definitely reassure you you're not alone.

We did have a good month TTC and I really hope we can get back to that in, say, 18 months time when DC2 starts sleeping. Until then I anticipate exactly what hpbp describes.

mrswooster i love every peek into your life!

it's a long way off but it's good to have goals!

knotty how are you doing? Are you feeling excited? eagle is it hitting you that you're next (of the people that come on here regularly)

hope everyone is well and has a great weekend.


lotsofcheese Fri 23-Nov-12 17:38:27

Well, I've finally bitten the bullet & booked an amniocentesis, after a lot of soul-searching & research.

I feel I just want to know, definitively. I don't have confidence in statistics & a screening test (as opposed to diagnostic).

I hope it will be a reassurance amnio more than anything & I can start trying to enjoy this pregnancy.

Hope you ladies are all doing well. I'm another one not having much bedroom action. Initially, it was a relief after ttc, then I was too terrified of m/c - plus the usual sore boobs & nausea. Now I just don't feel like it. DP hasn't complained - yet

eagleray Fri 23-Nov-12 19:15:39

Hi Cheese - was thinking about your dilemma last night and am kind of glad you have booked the amnio. I think I probably said to you before (so apologies if I am repeating myself) but I booked mine with a view that I would see it as an opportunity to talk to an expert, then possibly/probably go ahead. It was still scary but I didn't feel I was forcing myself into anything.

It was great being able to get definite results and draw a line under it all and get on and enjoy the pregnancy. Of course, nothing is guaranteed but it was nice to get that worry out of the way. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Well done on the admin Somewhere! I have been using spreadsheets to plan everything - got lots of house clearing/building work tasks and it's quite nice being able to break them down, give them due dates and tick 'em off when they are complete! This week, I have had the baby room floor sanded, ebayed some furniture, sold a bed, bought a pram AND a car!

Sex? What is that? Ah - that's what DP's slightly stern lecture was about the other night. "well it's funny you seemed really keen on it earlier in the year" blush I was way too scared in the early months too, and now I'm just plain old grumpy...

I've got some very clear milestones now regarding my remaining time - am exactly 32 weeks today, 4 weeks today I leave work and due date 4 weeks after that! Nice and easy to remember where I am with things. Was looking forward to flopping on the sofa over xmas and not moving (was recovering from MC last xmas and nearly died with the effort of putting on a happy face and driving around the country visiting endless relatives) but DP has just said his family are insisting we spend xmas day with them! I am getting growly just thinking about it. I think I will hide in the basement cupboard with some mince pies and chocolate and hope that no one finds me...

knottyhair Sat 24-Nov-12 07:39:55

Knicky, think you might catch OBEM on 4OD? It's on again next week (different episode). And as for sex, definitely not a lot going on in this house! DP seems to be OK with it. I felt so sick for the first few months, then the fatigue combined with back/hip pain didn't really help. Definitely didn't seem to get that 2nd trimester "burst of energy" this time! We didn't really manage much action when I was pregnant last time but it all soon got back to normal so hopefully it will be OK this time as well.
MrsW, hope you're feeling better, sounds horrible!
Somewhere, I'm fine thanks my love, 23 sleeps to go! I also have several lists (one for every day, otherwise I forget stuff) and a big one of what needs doing before I go into hospital. I have managed to do most of the Christmas wrapping, need to write the cards but I feel weird putting Rosa's name on them. Obviously she'll be here by Christmas but even as a non-superstitious atheist, I feel like I'm tempting fate or something by writing her name! Stupid I know.
Lotsofcheese, when is your amnio? Good luck and great advice from Eagle.
Eagle, sorry to hear about your tough time last Christmas and your MC. Hope you get to relax a bit this year! We will be going to DP's sisters on Christmas Day (only 15 mins by car, and DS gets to play with his cousins), then my family are coming here on Boxing Day with instructions to bring any food with them! My niece is coming with her 6 month old daughter so I'm sure Rosa will look extra tiny! Unfortunately DS's school has changed the date of his Christmas play to the day I have the section sad, but hopefully if Rosa is born in the morning as planned, DP will be able to drive back for it, and I've put my parents on standby to go if not, and my best mate is videoing it for me. Off to town this morning so DS can choose some cheap tat beautiful decorations for his room, then we're taking him to the cinema tomorrow to see Nativity 2 followed by fish & chips. Hope you all have a lovely weekend, apologies for mammoth post! xx

Midgetm Sat 24-Nov-12 08:50:21

Just running in to say I miss you all and always mean to catch up but you all move also fast. Cheese good luck with your pregnancy, I remember you from last time. The 40+ baby thread has a comfy place saved in the sofa for all of you. And blimey, larry hagman has died. A sad day for us children of the 70's.

somewherebecomingrain Sat 24-Nov-12 09:46:57

Midget that sounds lovely. I did pop in and it has a lovely vibe which reflects that arduous glory of caring for a baby - makes me even more impatient!

Eagle that's so exciting - 4 weeks till the home run! I also find your spreadsheet idea quite exciting blush.

Knotty now only 22 sleeps! This is when it really
hots up as I remember.
Cause nothingmuch really happens between the 20 week scan and the burth does it?

I must admit I find the combo of boredom and anxiety in pregnancy most arduous.

Dilemma - we have one telly I want to watch vampire diaries dp wants to watch the shield. I like a good cop drama but actually sexy bad vampire and sexy good vampire plus moody classic rock kind of winning out over bald Machiavellian corrupt cop.

Both free on cable so has to be via telly. DP hogging telly. Insisting on the shield.

Also wanting to read birth book on my kindle but I think it's given me nightmares.

somewherebecomingrain Sat 24-Nov-12 09:47:57

That's history of birth rather than nice helpful reassuring read for expectant mums

somewherebecomingrain Sat 24-Nov-12 09:50:43

Ps eagle just want to say sorry about mc I shouldn't complain some of you ladies are so courageous it's amazing.

Siri1 Sat 24-Nov-12 19:20:03

Ok ladies. Is it normal for the sickness to stop one day then feel like eating a horse the next? I was very irritable withDH COZ HE WANTED TO WAIT ANOTHER HOUR BEFORE DINNer!!! Don't think he'll be doing that again. Do feel a bit guilty...,

Hpbp Sat 24-Nov-12 19:38:01

Siri, don't feel guilty, whatever pg women want comes first ! Or should I say, whatever women want, pg or not, comes first ? wink

lotsofcheese Sun 25-Nov-12 04:47:08

Pregnancy insomnia at 4.45am isn't fun!!

Thanks for the good wishes, midget I think we were also on the PE thread together too?

knotty my amnio is next Mon - I know on a rational level that this baby is ok, but just need to know for sure. I've had a lot of statistical "blips" eg HELLP syndrome, molar pregnancy so I don't feel confident relying on a screening test. Deep breath!

Trying to resist temptation to empty washing machine - what a sad life I have!

knottyhair Sun 25-Nov-12 07:58:33

Hi Midget! Hope all is going well for you smile. Somewhere, blimey that really is a dilemma! We love both of those series. Can you catch up with VD on ITV Player? Siri, sounds normal to me, the sickness sort of came in waves for me, punctuated by stuffing my face with various stodgy foodstuffs. Lotsofcheese, hope you got back to sleep, and good luck for next Monday.
Am trying to get prepared for Christmas and various birthdays/anniversaries in January so I don't forget anything in a haze of sleep deprivation. Just ordered memorial grave candle for my friend's daughter sad.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 25-Nov-12 10:01:32

Siri sounds absolutely textbook. waves of nausea, biting head off DP monster hunger - check check check.

Knotty thanks for your sympathy for my ridiculous first work problem. Will check out vd on itv player- would solve prob totally.

Had a lovely night out last night with some old friends. Some kind of change has come over me I've broken out the iPod and we've been playing bob Marley and Florence and the machine to baby in the car and then the restaurant was this mad brightly lit Indian restaurant in deepest south hall with dancing waiters and v loud Bollywood music do baby has been exposed to mucho sound.

Cheese it makes sense am looking forward for your mind being at rest xx

scarecrow22 Sun 25-Nov-12 15:00:03

There is a peculiar agony to not seeing DD when work on a Sunday. Somehow worst missing. Just a few hours and we hang out for a Whole Week grin

Siri1 Sun 25-Nov-12 18:46:41

scarecrow22 not long now, hang in there to your week of
lotsofcheese glad you've made a decision. Good luck and my thoughts will be with you
Ta everyone for making me feel more human and less crazy regarding my food tantrum. DH provided me with trifle. I love him muchly today grin
I've not picked up a book that contains details about birth. Am in denial. I'm hoping a zip will appear at some point....

Blundermum Sun 25-Nov-12 19:41:15

I am back after a few days of no internet, bloody Talktalk grrrr!
somewhere I am ok thanks, just started to remember all those little pregnancy symptoms now and thinking 'oh yes, I remember this!'
Unfortunately, I am starting to remember the birth too shock
I have to say I'm glad I'm not the only one who has gone off sex, I do feel sorry for DH though, it was only just getting back to a reasonable (whatever that is?!) amount after DD born five years ago and now scuppered again!
I really should make an effort though as he is a lot happier when i do grin

JBrd Mon 26-Nov-12 12:45:01

Hi all, can I join? I've just 'graduated' from the 40+ conception thread, got my BFP on Friday, so very early on, about 4+4, according to various due date calculators. Anyone else here with a late July/early August due date?

I think I'm still in shock, it hasn't all quite sunk in yet... So much to think about - first thing I did was to look at my workplaces maternity policy this morning grin, I've not been in my current job for very long, so wanted to check it out!

Currently trying to get an appointment with my GP because I will need a prescription and a referral, my surgery is a complete nightmare, though. Called before 9am today, and all same day appointments had already gone. So I will have to do the same again tomorrow, hoping they can squeeze me in. The earliest for a pre-bookable appointment would be in 3 (!) weeks, and I can't wait that long. So annoying angry

somewherebecomingrain Mon 26-Nov-12 13:02:20

siri trifle now that is good.

blundermum yeah - we were just getting fit, slim (sort of) and sexy again after four years since birth of DS and now bam it's over for god knows how long. i have good intentions of getting slim (ish) and sexy asap after the birth but if DC2 is not a sleeper this just won't happen.

jbrd hi there! welcome honey. I hope you are going to have a dreamy first trimester but it usually is crazy for most of us and if so I want to hear all about it - moods, sickness, cravings, fatigue, bring it on.

Blundermum Mon 26-Nov-12 16:06:48

Ok, I'm sure this is twaddle but have been feeling a bit sicky late afternoons and was the same with DD. Someone said to me that I'm having another girl because apparently a boy gives you sickness in the morning.
Honestly, I'm not usually so gullible as to believe this, blame it on hormones but was wondering what everyone else's take on this was?

knottyhair Mon 26-Nov-12 17:50:56

Welcome JBrd! Is this your 1st baby?
Blundermum, personally, I felt exactly the same with both my pregnancies (DS now 8, and this one is a girl) - wasn't actually sick either time but general nausea most of the day, worse in the evenings. Trouble is, I guess there's a 50/50 chance they're right which is pretty good odds! Somewhere, I know what you mean about the music, Rosa was going slightly mad during Rage Against The Machine on 6music just now!
Haven't done a great deal today except walk to cafe for bacon sandwich and I feel a hell of a lot better for it! Just making coq au vin (insert joke here) for when DP & DS get back from kick-boxing. Can't believe in 3 weeks time I'll be hopefully having newborn cuddles in hospital! Think I'm ready.... confused.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 26-Nov-12 18:01:01

blundermum i felt dramatically sicker with this PG than the first (a boy) and it turns out its a girl. But I have heard lots of stories of people who felt sicker with boys than girls, or the same with both. There may be a bit of a correlation but it's not guaranteed to be a girl just cos you're sick.
yes knotty my DC2 is not deaf i don't think.
rage against the machine? she likes rock!

JBrd Mon 26-Nov-12 22:31:02

Thanks, knottyhair! I have a DS who's 18 months and about to start hitting the terrible-twos stage hmm

somewherebecomingrain - don't worry, you'll hear it all grin I'm currently wondering if the dreaded morning sickness is about to rear its ugly head... Last time, it started at about 5 weeks, I think, and I felt so rough. This morning I had that horrible dry mouth/metallic taste that I used to have with ms last time - really hoping not to get it this time, or at least not so bad! It was 24h-sickness, and I actually hardly ever threw up, was just retching and nauseous. I so envy people that don't get it.

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