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Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:26

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

scarecrow22 Fri 16-Nov-12 08:25:55

Ah now, if they throw in a hot young (ish) doctor will be defo up for VBAC effort. Can I make this a condition? Is it in the NHS charter?

Though it does occur to me that I will not be at my most lush pushing a small football out of ... Well you know ;)

Perhaps I'll save the hot middle aged doctor (my taste defo not for boys anymore) for a foot op or something

Ahh a nice thought for the day smile

somewherebecomingrain Fri 16-Nov-12 11:51:53

Just had scan - all went well, it's 90% a girl!

Must admit I'm beyond pleased. Apart from anything else, it might sleep better.

riverside so sorry about your mum. Wishing you strength.

scarecrow hope your MS is easing. it might mean its a girl....?

interesting this whole new angle on VBAC - get a sexy bloke to stand in the room????

no seriously, VBAC clinic - never heard of it - scarecrow you're good with the new and the leading edge. i will look into it though prob gonna just go for c-section.

knicky re bosoms I am totally on the same page - mine are breaking out of my J-cups. I am quite disgusted with them. They are literally gross in the sense of very large. I am sick of it. I do console myself with the thought that about a stone of my weight is accounted for by totally excess and unecessary bosom - i could still have quite large ones if you took a stone off them. Maybe not but it's a comforting thought.


somewherebecomingrain Fri 16-Nov-12 11:52:08

SHE might sleep better!

Midgetm Fri 16-Nov-12 11:58:45

eagle get that swelling checked pronto (runs off to bathe my poor fanjo)

scarecrow22 Fri 16-Nov-12 13:05:51

somewhere I'm so so thrilled for you. SOOO much. I always wanted a tribe of boys but DD is totally delightful and a real little buddy already. I went for a run (ok slow jog!) this morn and after an hour away from her felt a pit of excitement into belly when I got close to seeing her again. Plus she was an idyllic Feeder, sleeper, self-entertainer. Apart from the 5-6 am waking thing (solved finally with Gro-Clock and changing time heating came on!) she was dream baby. Just close your ears and bleat la-la-la when I come back tomorrow to sound off about the latest toddler outburst!!
Anyway, sure boys are fab, and will be delighted if I have one. But hope you will love having a girl as much as I do smile

Sorry everyone else, she set me off on my aster mind special subject. And I happily confess to being totally ott!

Rudely forgotten who has swollen feet - do hope it's okay but glad you are getting it checked. Take care x

scarecrow22 Fri 16-Nov-12 13:08:14

PS VBAC = vaginal birth after cs. My hospital books you in for advice clinic to encourage you to try, but not (very very) pressurised. Maybe a little, but nothing I can't handle ;)

eagleray Fri 16-Nov-12 20:11:19

oh fantastic Somewhere - another girl to swell the numbers!! (they seem to be terribly under-represented on this thread). I have to admit I cried with relief when I found out I was having a girl (although up until then felt I would have been happy with either) as the male members of my family seem to be struggle with life a bit (I have some theories about the genes!)

Scarecrow - that's so sweet you were excited about seeing DD again after your run (well done on the run by the way - attempted it once at 16 weeks and decided never again). My mum describes me as similar as a baby in terms of feeding, sleeping etc (sister was a nightmare though apparently) so I am hoping I get same!

Was me with the fatty feet - had my joint consultant appt today and mentioned it, but no concerns as BP and urine are totally normal. Funnily enough, the MW said that an episode of Downton Abbey recently featured pre-ecclampsia and they had 30 calls the next day from women who feared they had it! The power of telly eh...

eagleray Fri 16-Nov-12 20:13:26

By the way, doing a hypnobirthing course tomorrow - will report back on learnings...

knottyhair Sat 17-Nov-12 07:14:11

Knicky, grin at your enormous whammers! Bytheseaside, lovely to hear from you & Hpbp. I'm almost ready here, just need to get the Moses basket up now I've washed the covers, and finish sorting my hospital bag. Just hope she hangs on in there until 17th... Scarecrow, hope your nausea eases soon. Riverside, hope your mum remains in good spirits and gets her transfer date soon, thinking of you x Eagle, glad your consultant appt went well and good to get normal results for BP & urine smile. Somewhere, yay, welcome to team pink! I must admit I was a bit shell-shocked when we found out we were having a girl, I had sort of wanted another boy as I felt I "knew" boys, but it's nice now to think we'll have one of each and I can still call my DS my "special boy" smile. Bless him, he's just got up and he still insists at 8 yrs old on snuggling on my lap for a big cuddle even though he comes up to my chin already and his long skinny legs hang off me! No plans for today although might try to fit in some Christmas wrapping and I have a mahoosive shoulder of lamb to bung in the oven this afternoon. Tomorrow we're doing a dry run to the hospital - we live in the county town but in their "wisdom", they've moved maternity services to a much smaller town 30-40 mins away down country lanes and we've not been before. Am reliably informed there is a John Lewis Home nearby so may squeeze in afternoon tea in their cafe as well! Hope you all have a lovely weekend xx

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 10:37:17

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me gatecrashing for a moment! I'm not actually pregnant (yet?!), so I don't really belong on this thread! I have been lurking here for a few weeks, and it's amazing to see how much support you ladies all give each other. I just have a question- how long did it take you to conceive? I have just turned 41, and got the dreaded AF this morning. We will be on the 9th cycle now, and I am losing hope. DH sperm test is normal, and I have had an internal scan which was normal. We have a DS aged14 and a DD aged 13. I had a MC at 7 weeks last year after an unplanned pregnancy, and it's sods law that when you want to conceive again it doesn't happen!! It's heartbreaking every month. Maybe I'm just past it. Sorry for the moan ( and gatecrashing) I'm looking for a shred of hope!!! Thankyou for reading this! Xxx

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 10:52:32

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me gatecrashing for a moment! I'm not actually pregnant (yet?!), so I don't really belong on this thread! I have been lurking here for a few weeks, and it's amazing to see how much support you ladies all give each other. I just have a question- how long did it take you to conceive? I have just turned 41, and got the dreaded AF this morning. We will be on the 9th cycle now, and I am losing hope. DH sperm test is normal, and I have had an internal scan which was normal. We have a DS aged14 and a DD aged 13. I had a MC at 7 weeks last year after an unplanned pregnancy, and it's sods law that when you want to conceive again it doesn't happen!! It's heartbreaking every month. Maybe I'm just past it. Sorry for the moan ( and gatecrashing) I'm looking for a shred of hope!!! Thankyou for reading this! Xxx

eagleray Sun 18-Nov-12 11:08:47

Hi Downton - don't worry - I lurked here for a while myself before becoming pregnant. You are right - the support here is just amazing - and I think most of my pregnancy/baby knowledge has come from this thread!

I really sympathise with you regarding trying to conceive. I started TTC last year aged 40, had an early MC at the end of the year, then started trying again. At 6 month point, we had tests as a precursor for referral to fertility clinic, but same month I left my job and same day DP and I skipped off to a tropical island and, erm, conceived a baby. I was ever so shocked as had really given up by that point.

So, the short answer to your question is - conceived first time after a couple of months, then second time after 6 months. I guess the only other thing worth mentioning is that we did take a tube of Conceive Plus on holiday with us - no idea if that did the trick, but doesn't seem to have done any harm...

I definitely don't think you are past it - us ladies here stand as testament to that! However, egg quality is an issue as you get older. I have heard good things about Chinese medicine - apparently has a higher success rate than ivf in older women. I don't have any personal experience of it, but it worked for a 40 year old friend who had been TTC for 5 years and I just read an article on it recently.

There is also a 40+ conception thread on here somewhere which has helped a lot of women (some of the other posters here will probably be able to give you a link).

Good luck and hope to see you on this thread with good news soon smile

Hpbp Sun 18-Nov-12 11:09:04

Quickdowntonson, don't give up hope, both of you seem to be in good health, there should not be any medical reason for you not to conceive, you might just need some help to pinpoint your ovulation day and get all the chances on your side. Ovulation test ? Cycle monitoring ? I had 2 MC before my first pg. I am 41 now and just had a little girl, 16 weeks ago. There are lots of us, above 40, firstimers or not. You will find on this thread support, laugh, moan and many more. Hope you will join soon.

Knotty, oh, That s so sweet , I really really hope my DS will grow up like yours, still giving cuddles at 8yo. My little man is only 4 yo but sometimes goes : hummm I don't want kisses anymore.... NOOOOO, I want to be able to kiss and cuddle him until he is .... I don't know.... 50 !?

Eagle, how are the feet ? How was hypnobirthing thing ?

So rainy today in Paris. Will spend the day sorting stuff, need to get ready for packing in 2 weeks and back to London !!!

scarecrow22 Sun 18-Nov-12 13:03:19

quick welcome and if you jilt is for a conception thread the please come back and update us. I am on DC 2 but had DD at 40, so as hP says lots of hope on here.
Other good thing about being older is you've seen all sorts of experiences. And the vast majority are positive. I won't lie, one friend has not been able to have DC, but so many more have succeeded, even after they have given up hope. On friend has spent 8 years conceiving 2 children. Another took so long to get pregnant that, thinking it might happen again, had second DC barely a year after 1st. So keep hoping, but don't stop enjoying your DC and DP - if you are more relaxed and appreciating what you have, it's more likely to happen. I know easier said than done, but at least talk sense to yourself occasionally and some might drop in. It's never worked for me, but worth a try ;)

Eagle how was hypno- birthing? I tried to listen to CD last time but just kept falling asleep! A class or course more sensible. I did yoga last time and it almost became my fave hour of the week. Plus breathing exercises were really genuinely helpful when I had trapped wind a little discomfort after CS.

Off to nap and then put lamb in oven. DH has flu. I think real flu but he has been so supersonically unsympathetic about MS etc I find myself nothing but irritated, ESP as he only took to his bed after he did some fun lads thing yesterday, and I'm hugely behind with work and feeling sick with worry that can't spend today catching up. <need to be nicer human being>

scarecrow22 Sun 18-Nov-12 13:07:49

HP DD only kissed me once ever (daddy gets lots of kisses). I console myself that I am always the one she wants when she wakes at 5am. Though an evil corner of my brain has suggested this is not a great deal ;)

Also what is cutest thing your DCs said when learning to talk? DD says "duddles" for bubbles, and I want to (literally) eat her every time it is so cute!

eagleray Sun 18-Nov-12 17:03:24

Sensible advice from Scarecrow and HPBP for Downton - you are right Scarecrow about relaxing although clearly it is impossible when you are in that situation - I felt utterly frantic and DP felt pressurised and so lots of arguments as a result. I think that the holiday worked as a distraction - the issues hadn't gone away but we were so busy swimming with eagle rays and the like we kind of lost ourselves.

The hypnobirthing course was great! Back next week week for second part of course. Was supposed to be group course, but DP and I were only ones booked, so it was more of a one-to-one session. It was a mix of reading through facts/info and asking questions, plus some time lying on the floor doing visualisations and being sent into a deep state of relaxation by the teacher. DP behaved himself and was quite enthusiastic (what's not to love about lying on the floor) although at one point started trying to telling the teacher that he thought that having a baby was a bit like doing a big poo (managed to do my stern look and shut him up)

Feet don't seem so swollen at the moment - trying to keep feet elevated as much as possible as am a bit worried about not being able to get my shoes on!

Scarecrow - don't blame you for your zero-sympathy stance with your DP - I would be the same!

Knotty - hope your hospital/John Lewis trip went well

HPBP - is that you coming back to the UK for xmas or for a shorter trip? We have escaped the rain today but I think there is plenty of it during the next week...

riversidelibrary Sun 18-Nov-12 18:37:57

Hi downton, it took 16 months of trying for us to conceive, started when I was still 40 and will be 42 whe DC1 arrives in January. We were very pessimistic of our chances though, and other than guestimating ovulation using morning temperature we didn't do anything else to improve our chances. So you never know!

eagleray do keep updating on the hypnotherapy, I'm very interested. Waiting for my natal therapy CD to arrive from amazon.

scarecrow I hope your MS lets up very soon, it's so tiring and endless, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

AFM I've been down with my Dad visiting Mum in hospital all weekend. She ok but weak, still waiting for a date for the triple bypass, hopefully this week. Just trying to stay positive.

Had an antenatal appt on Friday morning, all ok but DS measuring a little big. When they plot him on the graph he's above the maximum line!

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 19:23:26

Thanks so much to HPBP, Scarecrow, Eagleray and Riversidelibrary for all your wise words. I agree, I think I can sometimes forget to appreciate what i've got, and I should be happy I have 2 healthy DC already. It does seem a bit odd to want a third so badly now, but I suppose you can't help how you feel. Its the biological clock clanging I suspect! I've just bought a CBFM so that should help maximise the chances, and I guess it should just happen sooner or later! I think the tropical island idea sounds just the ticket - is it on the NHS? Anyway, thanks again ladies, and I hope to be posting (legitimately!) on here very soon.x

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 22:39:06

Er.. the NHS thing was a joke, right?! x

MrsWooster Sun 18-Nov-12 22:46:50

Hi Somewhere - another girl - congratulations! Scary and fab and, like Knotty said, a relief in many ways for me...

eagleray Sun 18-Nov-12 22:50:04

Funnily enough, when I went to see my GP after getting the BFP, I showed her a photo of the island and asked her if they could put it on prescription as it had cost way less (and been more fun) than all the tests we were having!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 19-Nov-12 10:08:55

Eagle that is SUCH a lovely story. It's like a novel.

Mrs Wooster girl for u as well?

I just want it to be over now! So bored of being PG.


RebeccaJames Mon 19-Nov-12 12:20:27

Hello all you blooming ladies. Newly pregnant and 40, I thought I would introduce myself properly on the 40+ thread.

So it's true what they say! We were trying for a baby for nearly three years, after having our son in 2008. We were investigated to the full spectrum of tests, and there was no problem found, so we were written up as having 'unexplained infertility'. I was so focused on it, and it was making me very unhappy. So I decided that that ship had sailed, that I was lucky to have one child, and it was OK and it wasn't going to define my life any longer. I joined WeightWatchers, lost 9lbs, starting thinking about what I would do when DS goes to school next year, and that, of course, is when it happened.

I'm 8 weeks, and quite anxious about the miscarriage risk at my age, and the birth defects, etc. (we lost one to Edward's Syndrome in 2007), but happy to be PG and blithely trying to ignore all the things that could go wrong!

I hope I can post helpfully on here, and give and receive support. I wish all of you well with your bumps and babies...


knottyhair Mon 19-Nov-12 12:41:30

Quickdowntonson, fingers crossed for you, hope it happens soon! I can't really help with any tips for conceiving as this pregnancy was a massive shock, completely unplanned although we're happy about it now. Scarecrow, hope your DP is better but I don't blame you at all for the lack of sympathy! As for cute things kids say, my DS called apples "popples" until he was 5! Eagle, glad you enjoyed the hypnobirthing course. Riverside, really hope your mum gets a date soon for surgery. Rebecca, welcome to the thread! Hope all goes well for you, and you'll get great support from all the lovely ladies on here.
Visited the hospital yesterday - looks lovely but it was 35 mins with a clear run on a Sunday afternoon! I was sitting in the car thinking I wouldn't want to do this journey in labour, so fingers crossed Rosa hangs on in there until 17/12! We went to a lovely park just up the road from the hospital afterwards and I managed a full English in the cafe, AND a massive ice-cream - sat on a bench in the sun, read & digested my food whilst DP & DS walked/scooted round the lake. Right, must get off my arse and go and clean the bathroom....

somewherebecomingrain Mon 19-Nov-12 13:33:12

hi quickdown yes there's a fabulous ttc over 40s thread which goes into forensic detail about the ins and outs - ovulation predictor kits, clear blue fertility monitor, luteal phases, herbs, progesterone supplements, lubricants, temping - it's all there. not to mention the emotional support. good luck hon.

riverside hope you ok.

rebecca hi - hope you are ok, hope you are not too sick, please join and chat away - even just the trivia of your life will be welcome here! as well as the full range of PG stuff of course.

scarecrow sympathies re DP. I think it is true that in general men have less empathy than women and it's about managing that difference. they have less imagination of what it is like to be another person! but then they can do other stuff. i certainly feel that.

anyways gotta go my DS is o-ding on TV on a stressful day.

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