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32 weeks with no3 and have entered severe panic mode - HELP!

(4 Posts)
peterpie Tue 02-Oct-12 20:45:49

It´s important I say that this was a planned and wanted pregnancy and I agonised for a year over whether to have no3 or not. I already have 2 DS aged 5 and 3.

I did have a very slight wobble in the early days but apart from that I have been fine and the pregnancy itself has been fabulous, no probs whatsoever.

However, since last week I have been a nervous wreck. Waking through the night my mind racing with every worry imaginable; I´m too old (nearly 39), impact on my two other children (negative), not going to cope, not enough space, not enough money, not enoug time for all of them, having 3 teenagers...etc, etc I could go on...

The thing is these are all the considerations I had before hand and I could justify them all before, so why am I thinking like this it just my hormones? Is it because due date is approaching?

I live abroad and don´t have many friends so nobody in real life I can talk to and when I mentioned it briefly to DH he didn´t understand.

Seriously though my mind is racing all the time and it´s awful sad

mummy2benji Tue 02-Oct-12 21:28:31

My husband is one of 3 (2 boys, 1 girl) and seeing them together and hearing about all the fun they had growing up made me wish for 3 children also - although after this pregnancy (number 2) and all the complications I have had I am having some second thoughts on that! Their family dynamic worked really well though, so I cannot see how a third baby would have a detrimental effect on the other 2. My MIL said that the 3rd baby was easy because he just sat in a baby chair and watched the others!

Never mind about not enough space - put 2 in the same bedroom, they'll find it exciting. I have friends who have put a couple of children together despite having space, so they can have a spare bedroom! The kids are quite happy. I have another friend with 5 kids, now ranging between 9 and 15, and a couple of them still share a room through necessity and don't seem to mind. Their kids are all nice, grounded, happy children / teens too.

And there was a research paper published recently which showed evidence that older mums (they classed 'older' as 40+) made better mothers as their children ended up with lower rates of behavioural problems.

Hope that helps! smile x

peterpie Wed 03-Oct-12 08:52:26

Thank You mummy2benji thanks for such a lovely post, it´s exactly what I need to hear right now!
I think I am guilty of spending silly time on the Internet reading all the negative stuff...

All the best with the rest of your pregnancy smile

Mummyof3tobe Wed 03-Oct-12 09:52:00

Peterpie you could be me! I'm 30 weeks with my third, have DCs age 3 and 5 already and will be 39 when baby arrives. Also planned and much wanted (though we dithered back and forth for ages deciding whether to go for 3).

I have moments of total panic. I think there was just no question that I wanted 2, but 3rd is sort of an optional extra. I also dread the idea of 3 teenagers - though assume you are pretty well in love with them all by that stage! People keep telling me how tough 3 is too. Thanks for that!

I just keep telling myself when he/she arrives it will be amazing. I'll fall in love like I did with the other 2, experience all the milestones again and actually have a clue what I'm doing, can enjoy the nice aspects of the baby stage knowing I WILL NOT be doing this again, my other 2 are at school/nursery so I'll have time alone with the baby. And perhaps my single biggest excitement is the enthusiasm of my other 2, they've really kept me going through the pregnancy and can't wait to meet their sibling. I look forward to seeing the interaction between them (at least until the bickering starts).

I don't think husbands can understand as it doesn't change as much for them really if you are the one at home with kids.

Good luck.

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