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2nd pregnancy and so much more scared

(3 Posts)
Splatt34 Sun 30-Sep-12 18:30:47

Well actually third as first was a 7 week miscarriage.

DD1 is 2 next month and I am 7+4 weeks pregnant. I have nausea and fatigue which were pretty much my only symptoms last time too.

Everyone i know with children DDs age have announced that they are pregnant in the last 4 weeks. I guess lots of people see a 2-2&1/2 year gap as ideal. The thing is it makes me terrified about things not going well for us, because I know it will be so difficult if i miscarry with all our friends are having babies. Another friend had a missed miscarriage found at her 12 week scan in the spring and i am in constant dread of that.

I am also quite terrified of the pregnancy continuing but there being something wrong with the baby, because of the impact that haveing a disabled sibling would have on my wonderful DD.

I know this is all very irrational. Am debating paying for a private reassurance scan but know that things can still go wrong after that.

scarecrow22 Sun 30-Sep-12 19:20:14

Splatt you are not alone. I've not had the close experiences of such problems but am much more worried this time, my second. Our gaps are nearly similar, DD is 21 mo and a joy. Pregnancy (DF?!) is 10 wks. I'm worried I'll go for scan and there won't be a baby or it will not be alive, that there will be abnormality, that it will take time away from sweet DD1, how we will cope with fatigue and money (I feel much more pants this time (not in medical ling but should be ;)) but think really just more stressful job and the eternal morning waking to resettle...)
Anyway I'm just focussing on the scan in two weeks, then the triple test results. If those are bad I will go for private test whic I understand is based on 8-9 factors and so more accurate...and so on. Also keep focussing on fact that sickness suggests baby is still fighting fit!
Focus on little steps and keep reminding yourself that statistics are on your side, and if things go wrong it wasn't meant to be. I don't believe in fate, but nature is pretty clever at looking after its own, if you get what I mean.
Make ten mins each day for yourself. And take care.

Northernlurker Sun 30-Sep-12 19:24:33

This is pretty normal. I've had three dcs and I know I worried more each time. Since dd3 was born two friends have lost babies in later pregnancy and I know if I was having a 4th (which I'm not) I would be a wreck. It's not irrational to be afraid of losing a much wanted baby. Just hang in there and the weeks will pass.

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