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Telling work about pregnancy when MIL is the manager?

(7 Posts)
SomebodySaveMe Mon 24-Sep-12 11:35:27

I work in a local nursery and MIL is my manager. I'm 7 weeks pg and need to tell work sooner rather than later as some of the equipment and children are quite heavy and I don't really want to risk harming the baby.

The problem is DP is still trying to get his head round having another child and I'm worried that telling MIL will make it public knowledge. We haven't told anyone in RL yet.
Can I ask MIL to treat it confidentially?

BonaDea Mon 24-Sep-12 11:43:42

of course you can ask her to treat it as confidential. You have the right to do that because she is your MIL AND because she's your manager!

Is she actually your day to day supervisor? In other words, would it be better to tell some of the folks you actually work with day to day so that they can help cover for you if you are really worried about MIL keeping her mouth shut?

SomebodySaveMe Mon 24-Sep-12 19:08:57

It's a small nursery with 8 staff and MIL. She has a deputy but they're very close and it would get out.

I just don't want FIL knowing as he will tell everybody before we are ready.

LivingThings Mon 24-Sep-12 21:56:06

You don't have to tell work until around 25 weeks if you don't want to. If you are only 7 weeks I wouldn't tell - pregnant people lift children all the time with no ill effects and for anything more strenuous I would invent a bad back until felt I wanted to share however lifting heavy things is unlikely to harm your baby you just need to make sure you don't strain yourself. If you do tell your MIL in her capacity as your Manager she should not breach that professional confidence although I can understand that that might be difficult in her situation.

AlisonDB Mon 24-Sep-12 23:08:11

Its a tricky 1,
i agree with Living things, legally you have ages yet before you have to tell work, you could for now day you have a bad back (i did with both 1st & 2nd pregnancys.
But with her also being your MIL she may already start to suspect,
If you socialise as a family and all of a sudden you are off alcohol, or begin to feel sick/tired,, start putting on weight etc... Goin off foods you usually enjoy, these are what gave me away in the end to my MIL.

As your manager she would have to keep your confidence, but im afraid as your MIL shes unlikely to keep such as secret from her hubby,
If i where you i'd keep it quiet till you and your partner are ready,
But i dont think i'd wait too much longer,
Good luck! ;-)

BonaDea Tue 25-Sep-12 13:01:09

bad back is great idea and pretty easy to fabricate, or perhpas just confide in a couple of the other workers, but not MIL or her deputy.

Rubirosa Tue 25-Sep-12 13:09:25

You wouldn't actually have to stop lifting for a few weeks yet anyway would you? I think my nurseries policy was 5 months. You could just avoid lifting walking children anyway though.

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