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Pregnant after a miscarriage, as the bumps get bigger we get braver, 1st,2nd or 3rd trimester, reasurance and hand holding aplenty!

(987 Posts)
StateofConfusion Wed 22-Aug-12 22:27:11

Before the first thread fills and locks a 2nd thread for us getting braver!

MrsReiver Mon 26-Nov-12 11:00:48

Hi ladies, Cad, I am so, so sorry you've had to go through this. I know words aren't enough so please consider this an enormous hug. Like the others I just wish there was more I could do to support you x

StateofConfusion Mon 26-Nov-12 11:09:12

Thinking of you cad xxx

I'm feeling seriously fed up atm, what of I'm not entirely sure, not helped by a mw team who are impossible to contact!

wifey6 Mon 26-Nov-12 12:14:13

Thinking of you cad sad

Oo dear state...that's not good sad
Is there only 1 MW team you can call?
We have 2 here that work together. So you can call either hospital.

I have my booking-in app tomorrow..but really don't want to go. sad
I had a MMC in April & after an early scan, went for my booking-in app & got the folder & freebies..only to find out at our 12 week scan our baby had stopped growing before 8 weeks. sad
I spoke to MW & she said its essential for arranging scans..but I can't shake my upset about having to go through the appointment etc until I've seen my baby is ok this time. Am I being silly? blush sad

AlphaBeta82 Mon 26-Nov-12 12:32:38

hi all
Cad so glad you are home but so sorry for the circumstances, wish I could give you a giant hug.

Well I had 12 week scan today, officially now 13weeks and 2 days with a EDD of the 1st June. Baby was super wiggly and very healthy, with everything normal. I have been signed off by our EPU as 'normal' now. I don't think I've ever been so pleased to be labelled normal! thanks for all the support, I was so stressed about it I was up since 3am! After the 2 previous pregnancy scans where each time the sonographer pulls thats face where you know something is wrong, I was just thrilled this time!

Also got a smashing shot of baby pushing his/her feet up against the scanner and getting this gorgeous picture of two tiny feet! grin

I know exactly how you feel wifey, best of luck! xx

wifey6 Mon 26-Nov-12 12:35:14

Aww Alpha...that's so wonderful. You must be so relieved & on cloud nine! grin
Thank you...I'm hoping they can arrange my scan there & then as she promised she would.

WLmum Mon 26-Nov-12 13:03:07

Great news alpha.

wifey you are not being silly at all. I was in exactly the same situation and the mw was a bit pissy when I said I wasnt going to see her til after my scan, but luckily I had a sympathetic gp who said here at least, the gp can also trigger the scan so it was ok not to seethed mw til after. Sometimes I really wonder about mws and lack of empathy. Best of luck. X

wifey6 Mon 26-Nov-12 13:06:35

Thank you WL...MW is very sympathetic but said she has more authority on scans & therefore need to see her to organise them. She did say she would hold off with the bounty packs etc til after my scan & also offer to keep my notes at the hospital.

WLmum Mon 26-Nov-12 13:07:09

state I hope nothing is wrong? Could it be just the exhaustion and the so near yet so far thing? I too find myself on the rather grumpy end of the scale at the moment, but I know that is in part because I've still got so much sorting to do at home. Every day the mountains if stuff get smaller, then there's just a mammoth clean to do!

bonzo77 Mon 26-Nov-12 14:20:04

cad thinking of you. Recovery at home is such a relief after hospital I found. You're so right, you're at the baby- blues, post delivery hormone crash, you'd feel lousy even if the circumstances were happier.

bonzo77 Mon 26-Nov-12 14:26:50

alpha great news. grin

state chin up, you're nearly there! It's is bloody irritating having in contactable MWs. I'm grateful that mine are very available, even if its a different one each time!

I'm now on twice weekly CTG and weekly scans with a obstetrics consultant who is a specialist in foetal medicine. Have basically been told be ready for a CS at any time, but unlikely to be much past 37 weeks. But aiming to avoid a true emergency so should be able to get DH home from work and get bags, but been told not to bring car or DS to appointments just in case shock. But baby is well, terrifically active, making measurements awkward. grin

StateofConfusion Mon 26-Nov-12 14:54:54

I finally managed to get hold of them, no one available until thursday hmm so I booked that, then 10 minutes later I remember my scan is thursday and will overlap that time.

I don't think there's anything wrong other than being fed up and tired now, dp is being great but I just feel glum, baby is officially full term on saturday and the irrational side is still in me thinking right we should get it out then as its safer than inside me. I'm just a whinge atm tbh! Anyway I get my elcs date on thursday so I'm hoping that makes me feel a bit more together having a date to work towards.

So glad all is well alpha smile

wifey I was very uncomfortable about my booking in before my scan this time, it never occured me to delay it, wish I had as I felt so tearful.

elliejjtiny Mon 26-Nov-12 18:02:30

cad glad you're home. Did you name your little one? Make sure you look after yourself in these early days, I know I always try and do things and then crash.

alphabeta hope your scan went ok

backwardpossum The blanket sounds lovely. I'm hoping to start on a rainbow blanket and matching hat for this little one but I'm waiting for the dating scan before I start.

state hope you're ok, maybe you've been doing too much

WLmum Aww at all the tiny clothes, I love getting out all the 0-3 months stuff out and remembering when my older ones wore them.

I had my GP appointment today. She gave me a load of leaflets and told me the midwife would be in touch. I asked about having my scan first and then booking and the GP said she would note it down but it's up to the midwife.

elliejjtiny Mon 26-Nov-12 18:10:25

wifey (((hugs))). You're not being silly. I think they should always do the dating scan first and then the booking afterwards. I remember when I was pregnant with DS2 and I cried all the way through the booking in appointment. With DS3 I waited until I was 13 weeks and had felt him move before I contacted her because I couldn't face it again. With my 2nd miscarried baby I asked for the scan first and the midwife said it was fine but that was a different midwife so not sure this time.

wifey6 Mon 26-Nov-12 18:26:17

It's awful isn't it. sad I don't feel I can even be excited about it which is so upsetting sad
She has promised to try & sort my scan there & then so hopefully I will have a date before Xmas. thank you for your kind words x

backwardpossom Mon 26-Nov-12 21:14:42

Congrats, alpha! Wifey thinking of you xx

Cadmum Tue 27-Nov-12 02:21:43

Thank you for continuing to ask after me/us.

I feel a bit like I have been run over by a train but I suspect that this is normal.

Basically, I stopped feeling certain movement on Friday 16 November, started spotting on Monday morning and had an ultrasound confirm that there was no heartbeat on Thursday (November 22).  

I was admitted on Friday morning to be induced.

Baby girl, Rachel, was delivered at 11:22on Friday evening.  I was alone in my room when the waters went, I rang the nurse but caught her myself before anyone arrived.

It was nice (well relatively) because it felt less clinical than I am sure it would have been.  Dh was about 300 m down the road still. I had foolishly sent him off to be with the dcs because I felt that progress was too slow.  

I was transferred to Labour and Delivery but the placenta was stubborn and after 3 hours, much bleeding, some pushing and some unauthorized pulling on the cord,  I eventually needed an emergency D&C...  

Once back in my room,  I was too uncomfy to sleep.  I was often asked if I had any pain to which I replied YES but was never offered medication.   I am still not sure how to interpret that.   I eventually asked directly and was told that the doctor would order me something--LATER... This ended up being antibiotics and a multivitamin at discharge?!?

I was tempted to take my own paracetamol but aware that this would mask a fever...

The midwife was lovely but the other nurses were scary or useless or both.  The consultant was actually the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist who did both of my scans and took pity on us because the consultant I had seen for previous antenatal checks is on holiday until January.  Friday is usually his day off.  He was truly an angel for not fobbing me off to explain my story to another unfamiliar doctor.

Throughout the process the language barrier was tricky but not as much as the cultural one.  I underestimated this since we have been in South East Asia for 2 1/2 years.

I am back home now with boobs the size of cantaloupes wondering why I don't seem to be able to find any information on milk donation here.  The consultant thought I was crazy for asking and told me to bind my breasts and not touch my nipples for a few weeks.  Stellar advice for someone longing to have mastitis again but not so great for me.

The hospital helped to arrange a small funeral on Sunday which was both helpful and uncomfortable. Dh and I went on our own.

Sorry for have written a novel...

backwardpossom Tue 27-Nov-12 09:33:33

Oh cad wish I could give you a big old cuddle xx

wifey6 Tue 27-Nov-12 09:37:03 words are enough to express how saddening this truly is. So sorry you have had to go through this. Rachel is such a lovely name for your baby daughter.
Prayers & thoughts are with you & your family.

WLmum Tue 27-Nov-12 09:55:54

Oh cad glad someone was nice but boo to the horrid nurses. Glad you got to hold your beautiful Rachel, so sorry she's not with you now. I'm sure there are some herbs that will slow milk production if you fancy googling it. So sorry that you have to go through this dreadful time. Xx

StateofConfusion Tue 27-Nov-12 20:10:22

My thoughts are with you cad and your DH, Rachel is a lovely name, I hope you are resting and taking good care of yourself.

Consultant apt thursday, then this gets real... Ill know dc3s birthday! Argh!

WLmum Tue 27-Nov-12 21:14:07

Wonder if it will be before or after mine (18th)! Race you!

bonzo77 Tue 27-Nov-12 21:48:40

cad how are you bearing up? I just can't imagine how you are feeling. You sound very brave, I hope your DH and anyone else who can is looking after you.

WL and state. I could yet pip you to the post. Dr said that she probably wouldn't let me go beyond 37 weeks. Which is 15th dec, which is 2 weeks this Saturday. Assuming that they won't do an ELCS on a weekend, I guess it might be monday the 17th!

StateofConfusion Tue 27-Nov-12 22:40:15

Wow could be a very busy week for us all then, I've been told between the 14th and 21st depending on measurements etc at this weeks scan, I think this little one is bigger than my older two, I never seen so much movement let alone what I'm feeling.

Let the race commence!

Hope your doing ok bonzo me and dp realised earlier our ds was born at the stage I am friday, 36+6.

Cadmum Wed 28-Nov-12 06:07:44

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts. I am coping as well as can be expected. Dh was really convinced that we would have a baby in April and very sad at the notion of not trying again.

I see the consultant on December 17 to hear pathology results and suggested further testing. He was very encouraging and said there is no reason we cannot try again. (I suspect that he is too clinical to diagnose a broken heart...)

We have now had more late miscarriages than live births and I am getting old.

I am looking forward to hearing your successful stories.

Cadmum Wed 28-Nov-12 06:11:22

I suppose that if a reason was found and medication could guarantee success, I might try again... How pathetic is that? Oh! And can I request only mild morning sickness too?! (just subtle enough to prevent me from worrying--at all!)

Not likely, eh?

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